𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

19. 𝑌𝑜𝑢

May 3, 2023

Queen

I knew the answer to his question before he even finished asking, but he was so cute when he was anxious. He'd start pretending he was completely unfazed, but you could catch him bouncing his knee and sneaking glances. It was a welcome change from him being so serious all the time.

Would we still be married if you hadn't died?...

"If you hadn't died..." I paused, looking for the right words to say. "We would be on kid number three, and buying a minivan."

"Saying that we would be..."

"Still married. Yes. I'm positive we'd still be married...if that was the case."

"Ouch."

I raised my brow, a small smile appearing on my face at his slight look of disappointment. "Not the answer you wanted?"

"I mean, of course, it is," he said lowly. "It's just that...now I can confirm that if I had been a little bit more careful with making sure there were no threats, we'd still be together. James would still be here with us and Xavia would've been perfectly fine."

My chest aches at the mention of my daughter, but I held back the pain and turned to Syn, who seemed to be more distraught than I thought. "It's not your fault, Syn."

"Isn't it?" He whispered as he stared out of the car in thought. "I had so many opportunities to do something. If I had followed through with my father's plan...the plan you gave me the 'okay' to go through with—"

"Syn..."

"I could've just killed Lilith...same with Sebastian when I kidnapped him..." My heart broke as he kept going and I wondered how long he had been having these thoughts.

"Okay! Stop!" I exclaimed. He turned to me, taken aback by my outburst and I took a deep breath. "If these are the things that make you at fault for what happened, them I'M the person who's responsible for everything that happened."

"Queen, don't say-"

"Every single fucking one of those decisions you made, and things you decided against doing...it was because of me. You held back, even when you didn't want to, because of me, Syn," I said sincerely. I took his hand into mine and ran my fingers gently across his scarred knuckles. "If you're going to blame anyone, blame me."

"I'd never do that."

"Then stop." Our eyes met, expressing the raw emotions we were both holding back. Of course, he looked away first, not wanting to expose yet another part of himself. "Sure things happen, but right now it's like...should've, could've, would've...it's in the past and we need to move on."

"Without one another?" He questioned.

"I honestly have no idea. I only know one thing."

"What is that?"

"We're endgame." I smiled at him.

He scrunched his brows in confusion and shook his head slowly. "What is that?"

"Umm, I'm not sure how to explain it," I grimaced as I searched my mind for a definition. "It's like this; if we were characters in a book—"

"Oh no," he grimaced as he rubbed his temples with his free hand.

"Listen for a second," I whined. He dropped his hand and sighed, looking back at me and waiting patiently for me to continue. "It means that if we were characters, we'd be the ones that end up together in the end. Endgame couples no matter the time, or circumstances...they always have a happy ending together."