𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

61. 𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

May 12, 2023

Queen

He doesn't mean it, I repeated in my head, manifesting a different reality than the one that was facing me. So long as I told myself that this wasn't somehow his true self revealing how he truly felt about me, I'd be okay. It hurt but—

This isn't about you. I sucked in a quick breath at the realization that I had been stuck in my head at a time like this and looked at the grip Syn had on my wrist. His calloused hands were warm and rough as they held me. Gone was his gentle and comforting touch. In its place was a painful grasp that became tighter with each groan he let out.

"Syn, please." I winced, placing my free hand over his enclosed fingers. "Just...let me do this, okay?"

He ignored my words, shutting his eyes tightly as his free hand moved to his chest. His breathing became shallow and his body tightened as a low grumble arose from his chest. A vein in his forehead became pronounced as he tried to hold back from screaming in front of me and my heart broke once again. In the midst of all of this, he was still worried about me seeing him vulnerable in any way.

I reached for his cheek, a warmth in my chest melting as it made contact with the soft stubble on his jaw. "Syn, I'm here, okay?" I whispered. His eyes were still shut tightly, but his breathing remained more erratic than before. I moved my hand lower and placed it flat on his chest. "Do you feel my hand?"

I eyed him carefully, waiting for a response that didn't come. I opened my mouth to speak again and will him out of his daze, but before I could, his hand moved to his chest and rested directly above mine. I let out a small breath of relief knowing that he was still somewhat present, and sat back on the heel of my feet.

"Take slow breaths, Syn. You'll be able to feel our hands falling and rising...use that."

He slowly followed my instructions, and after a few moments, his breathing calmed. His tight hold on my wrist gradually decreased until his hand was loosely holding mine in my lap. I relaxed a bit as what seemed like the worst had passed, and a quiet calm filled the restroom.

I waited a few minutes, letting him calm down further before I dared trying to move him anywhere else. I slowly removed my hand from his chest, gently letting his hand drop to his lap. He stirred a bit, a small wince escaping his lips and I reached to touch his forehead. Before I could make contact, the door to the restroom shut with a harsh slam.

My head snapped to it in shock and I froze as I wondered who was responsible for it. Was it the phantom footsteps I had heard in the halls last night...? I stayed quiet, mentally preparing for something else to happen, but when nothing did, I let out a relieved sigh and turned back to Syn.

"I thought that—"

My words stopped when my eyes landed on his tired eyes looking directly at me. It startled me momentarily, but I composed myself and gave him a small smile. "We should umm...get you cleaned up and—"

"What are you doing?" He whispered, his eyes searching mine as he leaned closer to me. He couldn't have been more than a foot away from me, but I could clearly see the dark circles around his eyes from being in here for— I didn't even know how long he was in here. He could've been throwing up and in pain all night. I stared back into his eyes, expecting to see his usual focused gaze...but that wasn't there.

All I saw was sadness...

...maybe even fear.

"What's wrong?" The lights flickered in the restroom, briefly surrounding us in darkness before turning on again. I looked back at Syn who wasn't slightly fazed by it and suddenly knew who was responsible for all the strange happenings in the last few minutes.