'Til Sun Beams Find You [COMPLETED]

Fifty-nine (Part 2)

Jada helping Nico bathe was very reminiscent of the way Nico was when her sister passed away, over five years ago at that point.

She wanted to say she had never felt lower in her life, but that would have been a lie, because she had been lower than this previously.

And just like last time, Jada was there to help her pick up the pieces.

"Look at how many positive changes you've had in your life since you started this medication, Nico..." she spoke to her gently, as Xavier ran around the bathroom while Jada washed her hair. "Hm? You're letting one aspect change your mind on something that's helped so tremendously."

She took her medication after a lot of begging and pleading, but Jada wouldn't be around every single day to supervise her.

Nico had to make the choice herself when she wasn't around.

Jada glanced over at Xavier when he started banging his Spiderman toy on the closed toilet seat, trapped in the bathroom with them because no one else could keep an eye on him while Nico showered.

And he'd spent an hour in his playpen, which was more than he ever had before.

Nico usually let him run around, so he got very irritable being trapped in a small space for longer than he was used to.

"Look at him," she encouraged, and Nico looked up from the bath water over to Xavier who was having the time of his life, entertaining himself with his toy as he spoke gibberish to Spiderman. "You have to choose him, Nic. You have to choose yourself. I know the circumstances suck, and I'm sorry, but life goes on."

She sniffled softly as Jada massaged the shampoo into her tresses.

"A worse scenario exists... just be thankful for the blessings you have that Carter is actually his dad."

What was she planning to do if Carter didn't turn out to be his dad?

Die?

"It sucks that he left, and maybe it's for good or maybe it's for a little while, but that doesn't mean you give up on yourself and your baby."

She didn't have time to mourn a relationship the way she could if she was childless.

Not with a 12-month-old literally depending on her for her for his own life.

"This isn't like the last time you guys broke up, Nico. Where you can mope around all day.. I'm sorry but you can't do that anymore. And who's to say you guys even broke up?"

"No. We did. He put it on his grandmother's grave," she said, knowing Carter would never play about that.

He was done for real as soon as she opened that paper.

Jada sighed, even though for some reason, she just didn't believe that. "Then I'm not saying you can't be sad about it... but this.. it's not the answer. You have to show up for Zay every day, Nic. No exceptions."

Those were the sacrifices she chose to make when she went through with her pregnancy... she couldn't back out now.

Jada wouldn't let her.

Eli wouldn't let her.

She scooped up some water and poured it over Nico's head as she closed her eyes, making sure the shampoo didn't get in them.

"Mama!!" Xavier yelled, calling for her attention.

She opened her eyes to see he had gone into the bathroom cabinet and was playing with the container of q-tips.

He threw them up into the air and then giggled when they rained down on him.

A smile cracked her lips as she watched him.