Once a cheater, always a cheater

17. Realisation

Hello lovelies,
Here is another chapter.
This one is really bad and I don't like it at all, it's also really short but I was out of any ideas.
So I'm really sorry about that!
I promise that the next one will be longer!
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We stay quiet for some minutes, not knowing what to say or do.

I come closer to him again, I need him, i want him, I need his lips on mine. Maybe it's because I'm drunk, but his lips are way to addicted

I give him another kiss, he kisses me back but not like the passionated kiss we had, it's a small short kiss.

"Did... did you drink?" He slowly asks as he pulls away.
"W-what?" I'm stunned at his question.
"Did you drink?" He asks again.
"Y-yes" I admit.
"Fuck, Emma!" He shouts as he walks away from me.
"W-what? What's wrong?" I ask him, confused at why he's acting angry.
"Your drunk! I already thought I tasted alcohol." He says more to himself than to me
"So what?" I ask him, still confused.
"Your gonna regret this" he says as he walks towards the car.

"How do you know?" I ask him, anger fills my body
"CUZ YOU'RE  DRUNK!" He screams at me
"Why would I regret something because I'm drunk?!?" I shout back
"You always say that I'm just 'a friend'!" He turns around and I almost bump into him.
"I- I never ment that!" I try to explain.
"Sure." He rolls his eyes at me and I feel the anger bubble up inside of me even more.
"OKAY... YOU'RE RIGHT! I THOUGHT YOU WHERE JUST A FRIEND!! CUZ I HAD WITH ADRIAN!! BUT NOW... WHEN I STARTED HANGING OUT WITH YOU MORE AND MORE I SAW THAT THIS" I point at us, as I snapped at him "me and you... are more than 'friends'... I didn't had this feeling when I was with Adrian, or with some other man! I only feel it with you!" I try to control my voice, but instead it breaks, and tears started to well up in my eyes.

"W-what?" Harry asks confused
"Yeah... I know, fucked up huh? I thought I loved Adrian, comes out I don't... but it doesn't matter cuz he doesn't either." A hot tear starts to roll down my cheek and Harry immediately comes to me and starts hugging me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he apologises
"What are you apologising for? You don't control my feelings do you? But you know... I'm actually glad I found out that what between me and Adrian was wasn't love... cuz..." my voice cracks and Harry starts hugging me tighter and puts a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry for jumping at conclusions so fast... I just... most people make stupid decisions when they're drunk." He tries to explain.
"I get it... but I'm not 'most people." He lets out a short laugh. Damn it, that laugh, they make my heart melt.

We pull out of the hug and I try to dry my tears.
"Let's go home?" he suggest
"Yeah" I agree and we both climb into the car.
                                                ~•~

We sit in the car, completely silent, I don't know what to say and scared that if I say something I will say something stupid and he'll think I'm some stupid ass bitch or some.
I know he probably won't think that, but still.

My phone starts to ring and I quickly grab it from my lap.
I check the callers ID and seeing that it's Sophia I answer.
"HI GURLLLL." Sophia screams into my ear.
"Jeez, I don't wanna be deaf." I complain as I take the phone further away from my ear.
"O, sorry." She apologises.
"What's up?" I curiously ask
"Ooo, I just wanna to check on you... you aren't fucking someone right now, are you?"

"WHAT? NO! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Calm down, I was just checking... the last time I saw you In that club you looked... cozy?" She lets out a short laugh

"NO! No, no no no! Not with that guy! Never ever in my entire life!" I feel my head turning completely red, I'm a compleet TOMATO, I didn't fuck him! But I kissed him... and after that i kissed what I thought was my best friend... comes out... he's not.. well he is... but I fucking crushed on him, THE WHOLE DAMN TIME!

"O okay, calm down... I was just checking, and you never know with you." I hear her roll her eyes on the other line
"What you mean 'you never know with you'?" I feel the anger bult up again.

"Doesn't matter... are you in a car?"

"it matters! I wanna know! So tell me!" I ignore her question.
"Are you in a car?" She repeats.

"Uhg... yes"

"Oe from who??? A Uber or A guyyyyy."

"What if the Uber is a guy?"

"O shut up, you know what I mean."

"No... but I gotta go, I'm almost home... byeeee." Without waiter for her respond I hang up

"So, your Uber is a guy, huh?" I jump at hearing Harry's voice, I totally forgot he could hear EVERYTHING.
DUMB STUPID BITCH! WHO THE FUCK FORGETS THAT!?!

"What... no! Sophia was just annoying." I try to make up an excuse.
"Emma, can you please don't lie, and tell me what I actually am to you?" He asks as he pulls over and turns his head to look at me
"Well... first I thought you were just 'a friend'" I emphasise the 'a friend'. "Cuz I had with Adrian, but every-time I was with you it felt different... I felt something I have never felt with Adrian and I think I secretly began to like you... in more than a friend way... but I didn't wanna believe it... cuz well I had with Adrian... but when he broke up I realised that i was crushing on you... like really bad, I tried to ignore it but, well..." just when I say it, I realise something.

"FUCK! I cheated on him to!" Realisation starts hitting me.
"Huh, what you mean?" Harry gives a confused look at me
"I cheated on Adrian... maybe not physically but mentally! FUCK!"
All this time, I just lied to myself!

"But it isn't that bad... it's not what he did.." Harry tries to make me feel better
"Yes it is! Maybe it's even worse! He was maybe confused and I don't know... maybe he was drunk? And just let it happen, while I knew it! I wasn't drunk, I mentally cheated on him and I knew it! I just ignored it."

How the fuck am I ever gonna explain this to... anyone?

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I really rushed it in the end, so idk maybe you can see that, but anyway, like I said in the beginning I was out of ideas and I really hate this chapter.
I'll try to put some more spice in the next chapter and I'll also try to make it longer!

Have a lovely day/evening,
Lots of love,
Roos:))