Peacock...

32

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Mayil

What is his issue with me? I've been noticing this strange behavior of his for the past few days. He doesn't want me anywhere near him. He doesn't like when I get close to him. But why?

He wasn't like this earlier, then why suddenly? What has happened to him?

Sniffling and regulating my pained heart, I reach my aunt's home. I inform Aunt about my arrival and told her that Vetri sir was busy.

Afterward, as I enter the room, I place my bag in a corner and seat myself beside the same. Jayanthi isn't home, she is in her friend's residence and would come back soon.

She doesn't know about Vetri sir and my relationship. I didn't say it to her yet. I don't know how she will react and what If she spreads this with her friends accidentally? I don't want that to happen, thus, I deliberately hid it from her.

Then I look down on myself.

Maybe he doesn't want me due to my attire? He always wears nice clothes but mine isn't similar to the quality of his. I grab at my father's shirt and hug myself, tears vacating my eyes without a warning. If he loves me, he wouldn't have cared about all this, right? Maybe he is just playing with my emotions.

Still, I can't halt this heavy feeling in my chest at the thought of Vetri sir being disgusted by me that he doesn't even want me anywhere near him. But he had been even more proximate to me. Was he not rebelled by my attires then? What is wrong with him?

Or maybe he doesn't want me anymore. Maybe he found someone very wealthier and more intelligent than me. I know I give him a hard time in the case of studies but this is me...I'm trying to improve. I'm not very good at understanding things and I'm aware of it.

It's possible that he might be annoyed with handling my foolish self.

I cry harder at the notion. I don't even want to look at him again. I can't. It was humiliating how he just wanted me to be away from him when he gets closer to me whenever he wishes to.

I need to cease thinking about him. His thoughts are only getting me more emotional. Gulping the hardness down my throat, I unfold the mat, spot the pillow, and lay over the materials. With the exhaustion weighing in my mind, slumber engulfed me within minutes.

But soon, I was woken up by someone. "Akka, why haven't you had food? Get up akka!" She has a plate full of meals in her hand as she attempts to awaken me with her free hand. "I'm not hungry," I mutter in a hoarse voice, feeling my head as a burden due to all the hurtful memories.

"Eat a few akka...please, at least for me," rubbing my eyes, I sit on the mat and she excitedly starts to feed me the food. I ate a few mouthfuls but I don't really have an appetite. "Enough..." I shake my head. She pouts but doesn't push me to eat more.

Minutes later, we both lay on the mat after cleansing our mouths. "You look sad akka..." Jayanthi says in a displeased tone. "No, I'm just having a headache," I adduce, trying to forget about the incident that occurred today.

"It will be alright in the morning akka. We have sports day at school tomorrow. I am so eager to see you participate in every competition and acquire rewards. I know you are so good at sports!" I stay unresponsive but process her words slowly. I like to play around a lot and because of that, I got quite adequate at sports. Every year in school, I used to participate in competition and would procure at least three medals. I used to be so delighted when I give it to my parents.

My mother don't really appreciate it but my father would always be very happy.

I smile slightly thinking about his kind eyes glistening with glee. I'm going to earn the medals this time as well and I can't wait to offer them to him!

With that, I pull the quilt over my head and shut my eyes.

The next day, we went to school without our bags on account of sports day. Unsurprisingly, every student was giddy and enthusiastic at the event that would be taking place soon. I was too.

Upon reaching the wide ground, I spot Harini and walk to her. "The running competition will take place first Akka. Are you participating in it? It's among 10, 11, and 12th-grade students!" I nod my head at her.

"Vetri sir is over there akka...he is the one who is registering the student's name.." my body becomes nervous at the mention of him. "Did you give your name?" She shakes her head with nervous laughter. "I'm a professional spectator!" I smile at her words.

"Fine, I will give my name then," she smiles warmly and we both saunter over to the desk and bench established to the very side of the ground. Students were in a queue to give their names. Hema and her friends were also there. She has worn a white sports T-shirt, pants and white shoes. Her hair is in a ponytail and she looks very energetic. "Is your sister good at sports?" I ask Harini who is behind me. "No! She always dresses up like a professional but never brings any medals to home," Harini says in a complaining tone and I just nod my head at her.

The queue becomes shorter and I see Vetri, sir. He is in a white sports shirt and white pants and has worn black and white shoes, along with a white cap. When Hema reaches forward to utter her name to him, I couldn't help but feel that I'm no match for them. They both look great...together. My chest tightens but I catch myself before it affects my eyes and produces tears.

As Hema moves, I stand in front of him. "Mayil, 10th grade," I inform and as he looks up at me, I stare down at the book in which he was scribbling down the names. "What competitions are you participating in?" I focus my eyes on the category and say quickly.

"Long jump, running and shot put," he pens down my name under the said categories and before he could lift his head up again, I leave the place.

My eyes ache at the compelled suppression of the tears. Why do I have to love him so much? I wouldn't be hurting this deeply If I love him a little less.

But I can't. I just love him beyond my sanity.
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