Where the Unknown Lie

Chapter 53 Looking for Reason

Everything was going fine, I finally had all my jewellery on my person, a few knives hidden away in my boot and in my waistband, and the others I had gotten Shane to take with him.

What wasn't fine was that I had to wear the scout cadet uniform again, I had to take orders from Levi, once again. 

Why him? I asked myself as I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, he was walking at my side, not giving me a glance. 

Too much had occurred in one day already:

- I woke up in my bed wrapped in Levi's arms.
- I had told Levi I slept in his arms better than when I slept with Alec.
- Levi kissed me on the forehead.
- I had to force myself to not kiss him. It physically hurt restraining myself from doing the action.
- Shane is making me work for the scouts and it's likely to be a while before I actually get to go back to the guild, killing for them, and being who I am meant to be.

That was another thing I now hated. He made me unsure of myself, and I hated it to my core, he's making me question myself and I loathe it.

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"Naomi. Noami. Naomi." He spoke my name firmly.

"What the fuck are you on?" I ask annoyance coating my tone as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Did you hear me say Reapers Echo? No? That's because that is not you. You're not the invincible assassin everyone's racked you up to be. You are Naomi Blackthorn."

"I fucking know that asshole..." I spoke as I stopped resisting. "I know who I am."

"It doesn't seem that you do," Levi said softly, pulling me closer. He wrapped me in a warm embrace I've only ever known once, it made my heart swell as I allowed myself to relax slightly.

"I know who I am. I know who you see me to be." I muttered.

"And who is that?"

I hesitated, not quite liking the situation I found myself in.

"You see me as Naomi Blackthorn, the girl with many problems." I bit my lip, "The girl who needs help she doesn't want."

"I don't care about Reapers Echo, I couldn't care less about her. I care about you. I care about Naomi Blackthorn, the girl with many scars and open wounds. The girl I want to help... if you'd let me."

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I cringed at the thought of it, I was sleep deprived, sure. But that didn't stop the butterflies from swarming in my stomach like I had a pest infestation whenever I thought about what he said, what he had done. 

Ugh... I mentally groan as I close my eyes and tilt my head to the roof, It's just a fucking crush, nothing special. He's nothing, he only matters now because that's all I have currently. I tried to reason with myself, it wasn't working.

But, when I was at the guild I had Noah right in front of me, practically offering his life to me and I couldn't get him off my mind.

And, I did choose Levi over Alec, that was a mistake... was it? I pondered pinching the bridge of my nose. Mistake or not there are no regrets there, how can I get myself away from him before I do something I actually regret?

"Are you having an internal conflict or something, brat?" Levi asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as he spoke, I nearly forgot he was there. That never happened, Am I actually getting comfortable with someone? Enough that I can zone out and forget he's there? I couldn't do that with Alec half the fucking time, Kanna sometimes, but never Kallum.