Where the Unknown Lie

Chapter 41 Cracks

I didn't know how it happened. 

One moment I was in a tavern then to a bar with Noah at my side. 

We didn't even have more than 3 drinks.

The next moment I was up against the wall of his room. 

His soft eyes were looking at me as if I was the one, while mine were as clouded as they always were. I didn't know what I was feeling. Levi filled my head yet the boy that stood in front of me was right there. 

I pushed away all thoughts of Levi and grabbed Noah's collar, pulling him closer, our lips met and we melted into each other. 

His body had me pinned against the wall and I wasn't complaining. All sense left my head as I pushed the thought of him away, only thinking of here and now. Trying so hard not to care for someone on the other side. 

If I wanted to I could overpower Noah in an instant. I knew that if I asked him to stop he would, no matter how much he wanted me, no matter how much he wanted it. He wasn't the kind of person who forced this thing, he wasn't the person who would do it with me if I looked as if I didn't want it. 

Our breathing was ragged as we kissed, long and hard, his lips soft against my own. When we broke apart he grinned, if I was honest I melted at the sight of it. He moved his hand to brush my hair from my face, trailing his hand down to my chin, lifting it up, and tilting my head to meet his eyes. 

They were so soft, so loving. A warm brown that filled my heart. 

Is this how I feel or is this something I'm trying to cover up? I ask myself. Why was that thought spinning in my head? I had no clue.

This is what I wanted, right?

Our lips met, it was a soft kiss, a graze of my lips before he trailed his over my jawline and down my neck. His hot breath made my face heat up. Though I somehow felt cold. 

"Shit..." He whispered, breathlessly.

I hummed before a moan escaped my lips. His hands trailed over my body, looking for a way to undo the clothes I wore. 

I giggled at his failed attempts and he blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry..." He whispered.

I shook my head before I wrapped my arms around his neck, his hands instantly went to my waist and he lifted me up. My legs wrapped around his waist as his hands moved to hold me. 

I moved for our lips to meet once again. "Nothing to be sorry for," I whispered into his mouth. "Slow and steady, alright?"

He nodded slightly, I knew that wasn't what he wanted, but he wanted me. But I knew he would do anything to keep me.  

We kissed each other to sleep. He was holding me in his arms as we fell asleep in our undergarments. 

I wondered if I'd feel at peace in his arms, I wondered if I'd dream. If the thing that plagued me would stop when he held me as it did with Alec. I wondered if my thoughts stopped if the thoughts that drowned me stopped and if my mind would quiet like when Levi held me. 

I felt my eyelids drop as I snuggled into his chest, searching for warmth as I felt cold. His grip on me tightened. A small kiss was planted on my forehead before we fell asleep. 

Darkness surrounded me. Not the welcoming kind. 

Guess he won't.

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"Stop skipping!" Alec hisses at me as we made our way through the market, just a pair of 15-year-olds. The deranged girlfriend and her evenminded boyfriend, who loved her more than the world.