Zenande Okhethiweyo

Insert 91

I woke up early in the morning and took a long hot bath. I packed my bags,only about five clothes are left in the wardrobe,I hope nobody checks. I gave them to the guards to take them downstairs to the car. I'm wearing a Louis Vuitton headwrap and a matching body hugging dress. I send Rea a message reminding her that I will tell her once I'm on the plane back. I walk downstairs and everybody is around the breakfast table,I greet them as I sit down next to Buhle.
"I'm glad you are feeling better makoti" Baba says after prayer.
I give him a weak smile and nod my head. We eat over conversations here and there,not the usual loud laughter conversations because the family clown is not here,even a fool can tell that somebody is missing from this table.

"Mrs Zulu you can go see him" the doctor tells me.
We are in the waiting room,Zano is only allowed three visitors and they go in one at a time. I look at Gogo and she nods,they insisted that I go first. Baba thinks that my presence might help Zano recover. I follow the doctor to Zano's room.
There are pipes connected everywhere and machines beeping. This is what Zanothando Lwandle Zulu has been reduced to,being kept alive by machines. He could have sent people to his dirty work for him then he would have avoided 9 bullets and our baby would still be alive. I stand by his side and hold his hand,it's cold. His hands have always been warm. One can see his pale face even though he is dark skinned. I look at his sleeping face and try to carve it into my head,so that I always remember what he looks like. If I can't be with him then the memory of him will fill that space up.

"Zano you need to wake up baby,your family needs you. And I hope and pray that when you recover you let them be there for you. I'm sorry for everything,I know you are going to hate me for this but I would rather you hate me than live like this. Losing our baby made me realise that this is not the kind of life I want to live. One thing I hope you will always remember is that I love you" I say with tears streaming down my face.
I hope everyone will forgive me one day. I hope they understand. But that is all I could ever do HOPE that my absence won't affect them in any way.
"Goodbye my love" I say placing a kiss on his forehead.
As I walk away,I notice that he has held on to my hand. That makes me feel bad even more because leaving him like this  tears me apart. I remove his hand from mine and I walk out of his room just as about the nurse was going to walk in.

I bid goodbye to Baba,Gogo, Siphephelo and Enhle. The driver is taking me from here to the airport.
"Makoti nawe uvalelisa ngathi umuntu ongasabuyi" (You are saying goodbye as if you are never coming back) Baba says jokingly.
I fake a laugh as the others laugh also.
"I will be back in two days ningakhathazeki" (Don't worry) I say.
After hugging everybody,Enhle insists on walking me to the car. We hug once again and she opens the door for me.
"He is holding on because of you" Enhle says.
That adds on to how bad I feel. I almost want to breakdown and cry but I cover it up with a smile and nod my head. I remember the flower.
"Enhle please tell Cele that the flower will wake him up,I know you are scared of him but do it for your brother okay?" I say as I close the car door.
"But why don't you tell him?" She asks sulking.
I laugh and shake my head.
"Because you need to step up and help me by taking care of him Sisi" I say.
She gives me a quizzical look but she nods anyway.

***

"Okay everything is ready let's go" Rea says as she takes my fake passport and puts it into my bag.
"Wait let me finish this" I say quickly finishing up with my writing.
"Are you writing him a love letter?" Rea asks jokingly.
I chuckle and shake my head.
"Rea please give this to him when you see that he is ready" I say handing her the sealed letter.
She nods her head.
"Please take care of him"
"I will try you know how your husband is like" she says and I laugh.
I take my handbag and put on my glasses. I'm wearing a weave with a fringe cut so that it helps cover my face.
"Thank you for being the best friend I could ever ask for,I love you so much" I say hugging her tight.
"You are going to make me cry. Take care of yourself okay? I will come visit when it's safe" she says winking and I laugh with tears in my eyes.
She hugs me and tries to smile although her eyes are glossy.

After a whole ten minutes of us crying and hugging each other I take my leave. Before I get on my plane to USA where Nolunwabo is waiting for me,I have a meeting with Ayabulela at a cafe close to the airport. I'm wearing a long black maxi dress that covers my sixteen inch black stilletos. We didn't see any of Zano's people guarding me but we are hoping that they don't notice me and alert the family because they are expecting me back in KwaZulu today. Nobody knows about this except Rea and Nolu,they have helped me plan everything out. I left my phone and everything I had in my house so that when they trace it leads them there,I left a note explaining that I have left and they shouldn't look for me. The Uber driver parks next to the cafe.
"Thank you" I say and giving him the money.
The airport is a walking distance from here,I will manage on my own.

Ayabulela is already seated and drinking coffee. Talk about time waits for no woman.
"Should I order you something?" He asks a I sit down.
"No I'm fine" I say.
"You look good. You don't know how happy I was to receive your call" he says.
Straight to business I take it.
"I bet you were. I guess you have seen from the news that my husband is in hospital" I say.
He tries searching for my eyes under the sunglasses but he fails.
"I told you that he is not right for you,you deserve better than him." He says confidently.
"Well...I wonder who died and made you me,Roger Khanyile maybe?" I ask.
He tenses up and looks at me.
"What do you know about Roger?"
"I know that he messed with the wrong people,he should have stuck to being a petty lawyer and left the real stuff to the big boys. Look now he is dead but who am I kidding he deserved after murdering Zano's unborn child." I say.
"Don't talk about things you don't know. That very Zano deserved it do you know what he did? He killed Roger's brother. Now a poor pregnant woman is left alone because of your so called husband" he says angrily.
"Well lucky her she is still pregnant,while I lost my baby and my husband is fighting for his life. I promise you whoever was involved in this will pay,and if I find out that you played any part in it you will know me,my husband will be the least of your worries because I will show you hell" I say standing up.
Something flashes in his eyes.
"You were pregnant?" He asks.
Of course that's all he heard.
"At least she lost a husband while I lost my baby,tell her that we are fair and square. It was nice catching up with you,I have to go back to my husband now. Take care" I say leaving him there looking like a fish out of water.

I hope Zano realises that I only have pure intentions at heart. Me being in his life is toxic,the ancestors use me to show him that they hold the power. And being used like that also affects me,it's not easy seeing things and not being able to prevent them. Losing my baby was a step too far,they could have asked for anything not our baby but what what did they do? They take and take yet they are never satisfied. It hurts to imagine it but I hope he finds happiness without me. I gladly admit that being Zenande Okhethiweyo has changed me in a lot ways,I opened myself to love,I found happiness and safety in a person,I learnt to fight for the people I love,I learnt that I have to protect them,I lived out my dreams and I got to grow as a person. I'm glad that I was so worthy of Zano and yet this is a curse I don't wish on anyone else. No other 21 year old has a story like mine,my life has been a rollercoaster ever since the first day I went to The Eatery. I smile to myself as I hand the lady my ticket and passport. I will always look back at our memories and smile because I now know what love is.

THE END!

UNEDITED!!!