Zenande Okhethiweyo

Insert 17

When we are done we all head out and lock the door. Mama tells me that she is going back home and wishes me good luck on my exams,we hug then she leaves. Rea asks if she cleared everything out for me and I tell her everything my mom said. When we get to campus she goes over to some girls,probably to be filled in on the latest gossip. I sit on the bench,take out my phone and go to WhatsApp I have a lot of messages so I just reply to all of them. Duduzile sent me a text that says "Hi muntu kaBae.",I roll my eyes and chuckle. If she wasn't full of herself we would get along really well. I quickly reply with "Molo mama wasendlini". I view status updates and to my surprise Zano posted one of the pictures I sent to him,he captioned it "Intombi edalelwe mina ngedwa." I reply with a sticker,I know I could be the only one seeing this but it truly made my day. My phone rings and it's my baby.

Me:"Ndabezitha" I say smiling like he can see me.
Zano:"Sthandwa sami unjani kodwa?"he sounds like he is driving.
Me:"I'm alright baby. Umama was here she told me everything at least now I understand how this came about."
Zano:"Ngiyajabula ukuzwa loko Sthandwa Sami."
Me:"Are you driving?"
Zano:"Yebo I'm heading to the office,I have a board meeting to attend."    
Me:"Husband to be we will talk later have a great day."
Zano:"You just made my entire year." I giggle. "Ngiyak'thanda MaNyawuza and good luck on those exams although you don't need it,you got this." I can't help but smile after going back and forth on who should hang up first he finally hangs up and I walk to the hall with a stupid smile on my face.

One week later
It's been one hectic and stressful week. Me and my girls are always at the library,the party girls are gone and forgotten for now. I haven't been talking to Zano that much,Just a call on Thursday to check if I'm okay,I think he is giving me space so I can focus on my exams. I'm sure Dudu is thrilled about that,honestly I miss him so much. I have been feeling like there is somebody watching me lately everywhere I go but since there is nothing suspicious I'm keeping it to myself I don't want people thinking I'm losing my mind. Maybe it's stress messing with my head,no need to freak people out.

Me and Buhle are at the grocery store stocking up on food. I'm wearing a white crop top,high waisted black shorts and my Jordan sneakers. My model body is out there for the world to see. I tied my straight up into a bun.
Buhle:"Should we also buy coffee?"She says not waiting for me to respond and walks to the isle that has coffee and I follow closely behind pushing the trolley. Buhle is a disaster when it comes to grocery shopping,she buys things that she doesn't even need. I feel eyes on me,my heart starts beating like a drum and my palms start sweating. I slowly look behind me. There is not even one person there,the isle is spooky empty like a ghost town,I can't shake of this feeling my entire body feels cold. I can't do this anymore I'm even shaking,I need to go home. South Africa is not safe for women maybe some twisted pervert is looking at me like I'm his next meal because that's what they do,they rape and then blame it on the clothes that we wear. Mxm these bloody fools.

Buhle:"Hhayibo Zee are you okay?"She says putting the things she was holding in the trolley. 
Me:"Can we please leave. I'm sure we have everything we need." I say while looking around to see who is looking at us.
Buhle:"Zee!" She says tapping my shoulder and I jump. She raises her eyebrows. "You look like a drug addict right now what's wrong?"
Me:"Buhle ndicela sphume apha ktheni na!" I say as I walk past her and push the trolley to the till,she will come back on her own if she wants to continue with her shopping.
Buhle:"Yoh! Let me request a ride."she says walking to the till. I didn't mean to snap at her,she was just not understanding me and that got to my nerves. We pay for our groceries and head to our awaiting ride.

We have been both silent for the entire drive back. I feel bad for talking to her like that.
Me:"Chomi bendicela  uxolo for the way ndithethe ngayo." I say as we walk to my room with plastic bags on either side.
Buhle:"It's okay mngani,I know you were missing your books." She says giggling,I force a smile and just shake my head. "I hope you know that you can tell us about anything and everything that bothers you,we are always here for you."She says with a sincere look. I nod,I feel like she can see right through me so I change the subject.
Me:"So tell me how is Muzi?" She blushes and I giggle. This girl has it bad. Remember Zano's friend? Him and Buhle are now in relationship. Apparently he is a big shot lawyer who also studied at Harvard along Zano.He is a tall,dark skinned and well built Adonis but honestly speaking my man will forever be the hottest.

Rea:"I can't do this anymore. I need a break!" She says throwing her text book on the bed and walking to the kitchen.
Buhle:"A break? Maybe you should cook." She says laughing,we all know that when Rea says a break she means hitting the club.
Rea:"Aowa wena ke tlogetse mma ko Limpopo so cook for what?" We all laugh. "Wena Zee bothata keng because you look like a stray cat. Is it Prince Charming?" She says resting her hands on her small waist. Me and Buhle laugh,this girl mara.
Me:"Nothing I just need a nap that's all." I say getting up from the chair and walking to my bed. Rea knows me like the back of her hand if I stay here a minute longer she is gonna drill it out of me.

I throw myself on the bed and rest my head on my hands facing the ceiling. I miss Zano right now,I miss his warm and safe hugs,his voice and his horrible jokes. I miss looking into his eyes and fall every time like it's the first time,that man has me whipped. I take out my phone from my back pocket and dial his numbers,which are saved as Husband  with a heart. His phone sends me straight to voicemail and I feel my heart crack. Maybe he doesn't want this anymore,he realized that Dudu is the only person he wants in his life. If he doesn't want me anymore how will I live with myself knowing that I love him and he loves someone else? I feel tears coming out,I turn and face the window. I silently cry myself to sleep. I can't lose him,if he leaves me then that would break me real bad.

UNEDITED!!!