Zenande Okhethiweyo

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I haven't seen or heard from Zano for two days now,Siphephelo keeps on coming in and out of the house. Once when I confronted him he told me that Zano is alright he is just busy searching for the person who is responsible for his son's death,yes we found out it was a boy. I personally think that Zano is taking time out to grieve but what irritates me the most is that he doesn't even bother sending one lousy text that will set me at ease,he is just selfish right now.

Dudu is now awake,I didn't go see her but the family did and they say she is shattered. I can only imagine her pain honestly and I pray that she heals from all of this. I want to visit her but I don't think that it's appropriate,I'm sure she blames me for her father's death,I also would. If it wasn't for those visions then he would still be alive out there, somewhere making trouble.

"Gogo ngisaphuma!"(I'm going out) I shout hoping she hears me from the kitchen as I rush out.
I don't want her to ask me a lot of questions because she will try changing my mind about this or complain about me leaving before I even have breakfast because I didn't eat last night,my appetite has went away on vacation honestly,somewhere on a tropical beach while I'm stuck here living this life.
I have on my over the knee,body hugging LV dress and a matching headwrap. I'm wearing it with my clear slip on heels. I'm a firm believer that one should not look like their problems. I get into the awaiting car and put my Chanel purse on the seat next to me.
"Can you please take me to Bab' Cele's house" I say to the driver as he sets the car in motion.

My heart feels heavy like I'm betraying Zano but I know I have to do this,he will thank me one day because honestly I think he is not ready for such a huge responsibility that the ancestors are throwing upon him. When I look out the window we have already arrived.
"You can park here" I say as I open the door to get out.
I have this feeling that Cele already knows about my visit so I head over to his hut. And there he is grinding herbs happily singing. I take off my shoes and walk in. I greet him as I sit down on the grass mat. He looks up at me and smiles,a genuine smile. I have never seen him smile like this he must be really happy today.
"Ngingakusiza ngani Sphesihle?"(How can I help you) he asks still happily smiling.
His wife must have given it to him real good! Okay Zenande get that out of your massive head,I think to myself as I try to make sense of his mood.
"Ah...uhm..." I stutter.
I don't know how to bring about this topic,honestly I'm scared. I hear him chuckle.
"Ufuna ukwazi ukuthi kunendlela yokuphuma kulomshado"(You want to know if there is a way for you to get out of this marriage) he says still smiling.
I nod my head at him even though it was not a question.
"Ikhona indlela. Your ancestors are only agreeing to this because they are paying back a favor,if you feel like you no longer want to be associated with this family then you go to the river where it all began eLusikisiki,your mom will show you the exact river and then when you get there you ask your ancestors for permission to leave this marriage,if they agree then you will see something in the water and if they don't then it means you still love the prince and he also loves you too. After that you come back here with Zanothando and a white goat,then after slaughtering it your soul tie will be broken"(There is a way...) he says going back to packeting his herbs.
It's a long process but one I'm willing to do,mama will surely help me but as for the part that needs Zano I don't know how I'm going to go about it. It feels like a heavy weight has just been lifted from my shoulders,this is what I needed to hear that there is a way out.
"Okay" I say with a smile.
"Kodwa after all of this succeeds just know that you will have children that won't be able to talk,the way you also didn't. And Zanothando's wife if he marries officially will suffer the same fate as his mother"(But...) he says looking serious.
I can feel my stomach turn like I'm about to vomit. I need some air. This man is playing with my feelings,he got my hopes up only to drop a bomb on me. I know I don't want kids currently but in future I was hoping to have at least one and now he tells me this. I might be loving Zano less and less with every passing minute but that doesn't mean I wish that kind of heartbreak upon him.
"Inkosi namakhosana basendleleni"(The king and the princes are on their way) he says looking at me.
I guess that's my queue to leave,I don't want them to find me here. I nod my head and get out.