Zenande Okhethiweyo

Insert 58

Zanothando

We all know that being a man is difficult. We are considered strong due to general descriptions of our physical abilities,but what about our emotions as men? Are they even considered? Death is not all about the shutting down of the body and having no heart beat but it's about what dies inside of us while we continue walking in this life journey. As I keep walking down this road with the destination far from sight,I feel my strength chipping away or is it the walls that I have built up so high that are finally collapsing? As a man being told that you are going to be a father is one of the happiest moments in your entire life,your legacy will live on. This has been a lifelong dream of mine,to have a little person that would love me unconditionally and I would be there for them every step of the way holding their little hand but here I am sitting in my office feeling numb. The whiskey cannot even drown out what I feel. I'm elated that Dudu is pregnant but I'm sad because of Zenande,It's been a week since she left for Venice and I must say it's not easy getting a hold of her. I miss her smile,her voice and how her body feels against mine. From what Diego tells me,she is getting mentored by Mr Rosso in the business world and also advancing her modeling career due to her family's connections in Italy. I love that about her,she is up for any challenge. When she sets her eyes on something she makes sure she gets it nothing less.

I glance at the watch on my wrist. It's late I should get home before Dudu starts complaining. I get up from my desk and slowly pack my files away into my bag together with my laptop. Dudu has always been a safe space for me,I feel comfortable around her,I don't have to pretend and I can always tell her what's on my mind but ever since I paid lobola for her it's like something has changed and I just can't put my finger on it. I dislike her presence,it's like she has this shadow she walks with that plays on my nerves. Whenever I'm around her I feel like I'm hypnotized,I don't even think of Zenande or my family for that matter only her and what she wants. I think I should pay Cele a visit maybe my ancestors are trying to communicate something to me. I switch off the lights and take the lift to the underground parking. I salute the guard on duty and make my way to the car,Sipho is driving due to how many drinks I had today,it's the safest option even though I feel sober.
"Bozza yami" Sipho greets.
"Msixty awungiyise endlini" I say to him getting in at the back and slumping back on my seat.
What has my life come to? I'm one of the most successful men in the country and I know I'm not so bad on the eyes either,women practically beg for my attention and men wish they could be me but here I am stuck in this predicament.
"Uright Bozza?" Sipho asks looking at me through the rearview mirror.
I sigh and throw my head back. Am I alright?
"Hhayi mfana wasemzini labafazi bayangisanganisa" I say.
He laughs and I join him.
"Bahluke kakhulu neh?" He asks after a while.
I look at him and let out a chuckle.
"Polar opposites bafo" I say as he parks the car.
I get my things and head into the house,saluting Sipho with two fingers as I head in. I'm greeted by an over energetic Dudu hugging me tight. I laugh softly.
"Ubusho phela ngikfake kuLaptop bag ngihambe nawe mamakhe" I say to her as she pulls away.
She slaps my arm playfully and then frowns.
" Were you drinking Zanothando?" She asks scrunching up her nose.
Oh Lord here it goes!
"It's just one glass" I say walking past her to the living area.
"Didn't I tell you to stop Zanothando? Sizoba nengane you have to look after yourself" she says.
"Angeke kuphinde kwenzeke" I say sitting on the couch and switching on the TV.
"Hhayibo! Ungahlali kanjalo ungimoshela amaCushion" she says fixing up the cushions.
I just let her be,I don't know how she became like this maybe it's the pregnancy. Better keep my mouth shut.
"Usukume lapho uzodla I made dumpling and beef stew" she says swaying her was to the kitchen.
That's also another thing that surprises me,Dudu was not so big on cooking but now she cooks everyday and forces me to finish every plate even though her cooking is not that good. It feels like chewing cardboard.
"Hawu! Mamakhe mina besengidlile" I say to her.
"Do you ever appreciate my efforts Zanothando? Ngihlezi lana ilanga lonke getting burnt by amabhodwe and you want to tell me that udlile? Ngithe come to the kitchen and eat!" She yells from the kitchen.
Since she is a ticking time bomb I do as the madam says. She warms it up for me and I eat away while she tells me all about how her day was,from the spa to the shopping spree she had. One thing about Dudu is that material things make her happy. When I'm done I clear the dishes and go upstairs to take a shower.

"Hhayi your wife is living the life shem!" Dudu exclaims getting into bed with her phone in hand.
I look at her and then close my file. I haven't been on social media that much lately so I don't have a clue of Zenande's recent posts.
"She is Leonardo's daughter after all" I say shrugging.
"Buka she walked for Versace in Milan izolo,a whole showstopper!" She says showing me a picture of Zenande walking down the runway in a dress that doesn't do justice to her body.
I nod at her and like every time she goes on about Zenande. Dudu is Zenande's top fan but she won't admit it. Zenande was featured on some magazine modeling swimsuits,from her first modeling gig and Dudu bought that magazine. She is on a billboard in Sandton advertising the same swimsuits and Dudu was the first person to tell me about it. I don't know where she gets all of these things from.
"I think I should also give modeling a try after the baby comes yabona?" She says.
I look at her with pure shock. Shocked not because she now wants to compete or turn into Zenande but because after all these years of knowing her she finally wants to do something with her life.
"Why ungibuka kanjalo? You think just because I'm not her I won't make it?" She asks angrily.
She always does this. Petty fights. Involving Zenande's name in each and every one of them.
"Buka la Fikile you can do anything that you set your mind on and I have been telling you that for the longest time kodwa le ndaba yakho yokuzenza uZenande seyiyangicasula manje,you should get something that will keep you busy like a hobby or prenatal classes at something and stop focusing on somebody else more than yourself or our baby" I say to her.
She stares angrily at me for a while and then nods with tears in her eyes. I pull her closer to me so that we are spooning and she smiles. I kiss her forehead and tell her to sleep as I run her not yet showing bump,it's still too early. I look at her and remember that I should see Cele,I make a mental note of it as I switch off the bedside lamp and sleep or at least try to sleep because sleep is now unknown to me.

UNEDITED!!!

Hey Okhethiweyo fam I'm sorry for the drought,I'm currently busy with preparations for a Children's Programme in we are hosting on Mandela Day so please bare with me,I will be back. In the meantime you can come up with Ship names😉❤.