After I returned back to the party and Pedri saw my glossy eyes he insisted we get out of there. We headed to his room, where I explained to him exactly what happened. And also told him about my plan.
No secrets. No lies.
'I'm just going to go and sort this problem out.' I said letting out a sigh.
'Are you sure?' he asked softly.
I instantly turned my head towards him. 'You think is a bad idea?' my expressions softened.
'No, no, no, no.' he shook his head and stood up, grabbing my hands. 'You are one hell of a woman, Irina. And you've accepted so much and I've accepted Neymar so I don't get why it's such a big deal to her.' he shrugged his shoulders.
'That's what I'm trying to find out.'
'As long as you don't drown her in the pool...' he chuckled.
'I promise not to do that.' I smiled. 'Thank you.' I said softly.
'For?' he asked confused.
'For accepting my chaos.' I shrugged my shoulders.
'I love you and surprisingly all your chaos.'
'I love you.' I smiled and kissed him.
'Now, go out there and be the woman that you are.' he pushed me playfully towards the door. 'And don't drown her!' he said loudly, laughing, before closing the door.
***
I was in front of Neymar's door, getting ready to knock.
But before that I need a bit more time because truth is... I did low-key want to drown her.
After taking a deep breath, I knocked twice, patiently waiting.
Neymar opened the door, a soft expression on his face. He tried to step outside the room and close the door behind him but I stopped him.
'I'm not here for you.'
His expression turned into a confused one.
'Is Bruna still awake?' I asked.
'Irina...' he said quietly.
'You're making it really, really hard right now.' I said quietly. 'Is she still awake?'
All of a sudden she appeared behind him, looking at me without saying anything.
'Can we talk?' I asked her politely. 'Outside. By the pool.'
'Are you planning on drowning me?' she asked in a serious tone.
'No, Bruna...' I chuckled. 'I'm not planning on drowning you.' I let out a sigh.
She didn't say anything, just moved Neymar out the way and both of us headed downstairs to the outdoor pool. The walk there was quiet and a bit awkward.
As soon as we reached outside, we both positioned ourselves one in front of the other on the lounges.
After a few seconds of silence, I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. 'I... erm... I love Neymar. As much as you do. And I always will, and I'll always admire and respect him. But I am not in love with him anymore.' I shook my head. 'I don't look at him and see a future with him, kids, a house... I look at Pedri and see that.'
She wasn't even looking at me. Her head was turned to the side, her eyes focused on the pool's water.
'But he's always going to be a part of my life and I'll always be a part of his. Whether you like it or not.' I added. 'I don't want to ruin your—'
'Do you know how hard it is to compete with you?' she cut me off, her voice shaking and her eyes now fixed on me. 'People didn't like the idea of me and him before. But then you came... and... and everyone loved you.' she swallowed the knot in her throat. 'But you two separated and I came back. And people hate it.' she said her eyes becoming glossy. 'People didn't like me before... but now... hell... they want to tie me to a stick and burn me.'
My face immediately softened and I felt for her. I knew people disliked her and I knew the horrible things people would write about her, but I never supported that.
Never.
'I'm sorry...' I said softly. 'I really am sorry. But it's not my fault.' I shook my head, trying to fight the tears. 'I never took part in what people have to say about you. And most certainly, I don't hate you. Yes, what you did... hurt me... and... I disliked you very much because you knew me and him were together. But I don't hate you.'
'But you should.' she said. 'Because if I was in your shoes, I would.'
'I'm not like that.' I wiped away a tear. 'And if you would've given me a chance and accepted me, you would've known.'
'He always talks about you...' she let out a sigh. 'Not around me, but I know he does. We'll go somewhere and I'll see the way his face softens when something reminds him of you.' she said softly. 'And maybe if he would tell me and speak about you... maybe it'll be easier to accept it. But he pushes me away. I'm barely at his matches... Davi most likely hates me...'
Tears started rolling down her cheeks and I instantly grabbed her hands. Surprisingly, she didn't move them away.
'I assume Pedri knows about you and him.'
'Yeah...' I nodded my head softly.
'Everything?'
'Everything.' I said softly. 'And he accepted him. And he accepted me. And they're friends and not once banned me from talking about him or to him or see him.'
'He seems like a great guy.' she smiled softly.
'He is.' I chuckled. 'And just the way they managed to accept eachother and get along... I'll like us to be able to do the same.'
She was taken by surprise by what I just said.
'Why bring eachother down? Why can't we sit at the same table and talk and laugh and have fun? Why does that seem so impossible...?'
'Because that's how the world works.'
'Fuck that. And fuck what people have to say. Yes, we love the same man, but not the same way. You're with him and I'm happily with someone else.'
After a few moments of silence she spoke again. 'I'm sorry...' she said sincerely.
'Thank you.' I smiled.
And I guess that's all I needed to hear so I can completely heal. Such a simple thing but yet so heavy.
'Fuck what the world thinks.' she said with a small smile, gently squeezing my hands.
'Fuck them.' I chuckled.
To being grown ups.
