In my life your all in or all out. It's a lesson I had to learn and had I learned it earlier, I'd have saved myself a lot of heartbreak, time, and ruin. One I take seriously to protect myself, but use sparingly cause people come and go with a purpos...
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August 7th
I sighed as I got in the car, procrastinating heading to work. Going somewhere with a heavy mind is always difficult, it makes functioning that much harder. Looking at the time and realizing I needed some company, I decided to give my dad a call.
"What's up sport?" He questioned, answering almost immediately.
My dad's a lot like me in the sense we're not morning people or early risers, but have been brought up to be the opposite. So around this time, we're never fully awake, we're just functioning and unbothered and rather stay that way.
However I know he's either in or heading to the gym right now so he can use the distraction.
"Um I definitely may or may not have fucked up." I said blandly, glad I was talking to him.
"What have you done now?" He sighed, as if I told him the sun was coming up.
"So I uh maybe vocally considered coaching an up and coming cheer team." I said, making the yikes face as I sipped on some orange juice, finally making it out of my condo parking lot.
"Well, I mean... why did you do that?" He asked, making me sigh.
Honestly, athletics are more than a love for me, it's second nature. I left that world on such a high and so accomplished. Even though my mental health did take a decline when all was said and done, I wanted to close that chapter on that high. Moving forward as an adult.
There's honestly nothing wrong with that, but I do take cheerleading seriously, it means everything to me, including time. However, with everything on my plate right now, I don't know if that's the best decision.
"Remember Armanii Evans?" I questioned, knowing he's terrible with names.
"Yeah." He responded.
There was about a 50% change of that being true, but I decided not to fight it, not really in the mood for talking anyway.
"So her husband is basically building this mass health complex and she was talking about needing support for cheer and dance, so I went by to see and I ended up telling her I would consider coaching." I explained, thinking about how I was most likely making this bigger than it was.
"How old?" He asked next, obviously taking the logistical route.
"I don't know."
I immediately pushed it to the back burner but the development of the center has had puts me on a very hot seat. Even frim the last time I've been there, walls are up, electrical, plumbing, ceiling, roof, exterior. They've even started paint and putting in floors, cabinetry, and equipment in some areas.
They've started promoting all fall sports because the should be finished building by the time the season starts. Which means for cheer, they're in desperate need of a coach and don't know it yet. Therefore it's be cruel of me to sit in the hot seat forever and not give them an answer, but I've genuinely considered it and now I don't know how to feel.
