Aftermath | Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 23

I'm excited for the next coming chapters. You'll get to meet a new character soon. Enjoy >:)

"Control it!" Sharp yelled at me. We were in the middle of training, he had been trying to get me to overcome my emotions to gain control of my newfound overpowering magic.

It had been three weeks of vigorous training, to no avail. Three weeks since Sebastian and I had spent the night together in the groundkeeper's hut. Three weeks since we said I love you. He and I are inseparable, probably nauseating Ominis and Imelda. Every chance we get we're embraced together. The only time we're apart really is for separate classes or training with Sharp.

"Focus!" Sharp yells at me, snapping me out of my distractive day dreaming about Sebastian. My magic is escaping me in blue swirls, not my normal powerful blast. I think Sharp has picked up on what it means, for the most part. Either way, I'm unable to control it's release. Which means I don't know what it can cause at the moment.

I'm sitting on the ground in the middle of a stone circle. We met this time near the Poidsear Coast, on a cliff overlooking the water. The wind blows through my hair and rustles my cape behind me.

Sharp promised not to push me anymore as hard he did the first time, but he does want me to focus on the rage that magnifies magic within me. My mind shoots from Ranrok, to Rookwood, to Fig, to Anne, to Sebastian, over and over again. Every time I can feel my body rumbling and I start to lose it.

I'm sweating at this point as I say, "This is useless. It's too strong. I can feel it, I won't be able to control it when it builds up." I open my eyes at him. He has his hands behind his back and he's pacing the circle around me.

"What are you so afraid of?" Another question that throws me off guard, he's getting too good at this.

"Afraid.. what am I afraid of? I'm afraid of losing control. I'm afraid of losing myself in the process, never being able to be myself again. I'm afraid of the ministry and what they might do if they find out about this, my instability. I'm afraid of.. hurting anyone around me again. Especially those I love the most!" I yell out, panting from exhaustion.

Sharp stops pacing and faces directly at me. "I've seen the worst kind of people in my time, that did unforgivable things towards those around them. Dark wizards that would stop at nothing to torture and kill for more power. They held no remorse." I believe him, knowing he was amongst some of the most powerful aurors in his time.

"Y/n, you care for others, you care for those that you love. You stand up for what is good in the world. I was there the day you fought Ranrok." My memory flashes back to when he helped Fig and I continue on down to the Repository when a group of goblins had us cornered.

"Whether you took the power or not, you made all of your choices with good intention. It came from a good heart. Eleazar made his own choice to go down there with you, knowing the risk. He knew that you were worth it. He saw your heart and the potential in you. That potential still remains. You did not cause his death. And you have to forgive yourself."

I cringe at Fig's name on his mouth, hearing it out loud always squeezes my heart. The magic is swelling inside of me and I'm familiar with the pressure that is beginning to form. I know all too well where this is going. "That's it." Sharp says. "Let it out."

My closest friends, my professors, everyone dear to me keeps telling me exactly what he's saying right now. That it's okay to forgive myself for what happened, that it's not my fault. Every part of me wants to fight it, that voice in my head telling me that I'm guilty.

"No." I say out loud. "It's not my fault." I'm fighting against what I know is about to come. I fall forward onto my hands and knees. "It's not my fault!" I yell out desperately pushing against it.

"Forgive yourself! Fight against it!" Sharp screams out at me. The pressure continues to build inside of me and I know it's close to exploding. "Say it, y/n! Say it out loud."

"I didn't bring him to his death!" I yell back at him.

"Who?" He immediately responds. This is it.

I desperately cry out, "Eleazar Fig! I didn't kill him.. I- I loved him. He did everything he could to help me and I loved him until the end. I still do!" I cry out, tears welling inside of me.

"That's it. Control it!" At this moment I would be blasting my magic around me, but I'm holding onto it as tightly as I can- my mind being pulled in two different directions. Half of me convincing myself the worst of my actions, the other half blanketing me in the reassurance I've needed for so long.

"FORGIVE yourself." He yells out at me and I scream in response. The magic is radiating out of me, but this time is different. It's forming around me in a dome, instead of shooting out at anything in sight.

"That's it, y/n, control it." I'm fighting with all my might trying to maintain my grip on it. I push myself off of my hands, and lift my foot to stand on the ground. My feet feel like I have lead in my shoes as I'm pushing back. I get my other foot up and make my final grasp around my magic.

Standing up, the magic around me shoots back inside of my body. And I'm left there with it radiating around my fists. I can feel my eyes glowing blue, the wind whipping around me furiously in response to my magic.

I am in control.

"Well done." Professor Sharp stands before me, smiling. Proud.

An explosion in the far off distance snaps me out of it and we both turn our heads. We're plenty far away from it, but we see enough to notice smoke rising up into the air.

"Come." Professor Sharp hastily makes his way towards me. "We must go. Now!" He grabs my arm roughly and we dissaparate.