~Refresher~ Chapter 12

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Y/n's POV:

I sat in front of Scara's door. I don't even know why, but I couldn't move for a while. After I sat there for a little bit I finally got up, and went back to my dorm. I needed to unwind.

When I got back to my dorm I decided to take a cold shower, to bring me back to my senses. I found some sweatpants, and a faded T-shirt. It'll do. Then I went into the bathroom. I took a cold shower and let my worries fade away for a bit. It was very stupid worries. Once I got out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my damp body, and sat down.

I groaned when I heard knocking on the front door. I wasn't even dressed, and it was late. It was probably Lola; I can't imagine who else it'd be. With the towel still wrapped around my damp body, I went to answer the door. I was about to roll my eyes at Lola, but I was stopped in my tracks. It wasn't Lola. It was Thoma.

Thoma's eyes widened, when he saw that I was only dressed in a towel, and quickly looked away. His face was turning red, which caused my face to turn red as well; from embarrassment.

"It seems I have caught you at the wrong time.", Thoma said, still avoiding my gaze.

"I- No!- Not at all!- I was just expecting you to be Lola...", I started, not being able to form words properly. "Come in! I'll get dressed."

I smiled awkwardly and let him inside. Thoma sat on my bed, as I got dressed in the bathroom. This was so embarrassing.

Once I had finally got dressed, I walked out. I was still drying my hair with the towel. Thoma stared up at me, showing a completely different expression than the one I had seen in the hallway. He seemed... Flustered, maybe. He was sitting criss-crossed while messing with a pillow on his lap. I awkwardly rub the back of my neck with my right hand.

"Again, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed who it was at the door." I said, shyly.

"No, it's alright, it just caught me off guard." Thoma replied, almost laughing.

I smiled.

"So, do you need something?" I asked, politely.

Thoma stayed silent for a second, as if pondering something. When he was finished, his soft gaze finally met mine.

"Are you doing alright, Y/n...?", he asked in a gentle tone, hoping to not make me run away.

I hesitated. Should I tell him? Would Thoma even understand? I couldn't bring myself to see what kind of face he'd make if I disappointed him. My head nodded in reply to his question, in which he asked so softly. To my surprise, he just frowned slightly. Thoma didn't believe me, I don't think... But I don't think he'd pry too much either. Maybe it would be better if I told him.

"Are you sure? I have seen you cry two times in the same day... That's not normal. You don't have to tell me, and I am mainly here to apologize anyways. I just... I just thought I should tell you that I care for you, and would listen to any worries you have."

Thoma plastered a kind smile onto his face to cover up his clear curiosity.

As much as I appreciated that, I knew I'd feel guilty after talking to anyone about my feelings. I'd feel like a burden. Hense why, I write it down in my diary, hidden under a drawer in my desk.

"Why do you feel like apologizing?" I countered with my own question.


Thoma's face expression changed. He realized he went on a tangent.

"Oh! Right! I wanted to apologize for seeming so hostile earlier... I didn't mean to be mean to you, or even seem as if it was aimed at you. That girl had no right... But I feel a bit hypocritical." Thoma said, straying his eyes away from mine once more.

I tilted my head, confused. He took this as a sign to continue.

"I know I said it's not their business and that they shouldn't be nosy but... I am curious myself. Do you mind if I ask what that was?" He asked another question, this time timidly.

That was probably one of the questions I was hoping to avoid, especially when I have a hard time saying 'no' to people. Thoma looked almost jealous.

"It's complicated... In the easiest way I can explain it, I got upset at him, from him being indirect about things. I started crying, and he just pulled my head into his shoulder." I went off to explain.

I wasn't planning on saying anything unnecessary, but I felt like I did.

Thoma just nodded. Perhaps, that wasn't the question he wanted answered.

"We aren't together or anything we're.... Uhm... We are... Friends.", I added on.

It felt so awkward to explain that, or even say that Scara was my friend. I guess, at this point, it's probably true. He still pisses me off though, none the less.

Thoma finally smiled slightly from my words. He was probably just concered for me, and if I was in a toxic relationship with Scara. I smiled back. I was comfortable with Thoma.

Thoma started asking loads of questions, and I answered them.

"Was he why you were crying earlier?" Asked.

"It's complicated, but in a way, yes." Answered.

"Is he rude to you?" Asked.

"Sometimes, but I think that's natural for everybody." Answered.

"Is he some sort of creep?" Asked.

"Definitely not." Answered

After loads of different questions, Thoma finally stopped. Then, he left after apologizing again. That was a relief that he left. Sure, I appreciate his concern, but it's draining to answer that many questions. For the majority of them I made Scara seem like a good person. I bet he is, but why did I bother to do that? Scaramouche sure has a hold on me.

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