~Why?~ Chapter 9

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Y/n's POV

I couldn't get his glare out of my mind. I didn't even know why. There was something about it that ticked me off... And even felt off. There was a certain demeanor in the look that was different from the rest. I couldn't figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. My enemy was stuck in my mind. I took my rage out on my cat shaped, pillow, screaming into it.

I couldn't help but think about him some more, after calming down. That's when something clicked. After I got hurt, he got slightly softer toward me. We already established that he felt guilty. He even sympathized for me. Then he'd turn distant like his whole life depended on it. Did he have bipolar disorder? Surely not. In that glare, there was this look of an abandoned puppy. It took me a couple minutes to register that fact. That had to be it. I had grew slightly closer to him before that certain glare.

What was his whole point of view of our relationship? He's nice to me, then avoids me, like some threatened person in a toxic relationship. Should I avoid him? He seemed... Oddly intriguing, yet dangerous.

My thoughts finally were at peace when I fell asleep, curled up, on my bed.

I woke up to my alarm, as usual, then got ready. I felt so unusually gloomy. It was too cold not to wear layers. I groaned and left for the university, feeling like shit. (Slight Bo Burnham reference?)

When entering the building, the same familiar scent overfilled my nostrils. It made me slightly drowsy. Definitely, some lavender scent. My mind went off on a adventure, as I started walking to do my normal college routine.

I heard footsteps behind me, followed by ice cold water, suddenly, hitting my head. The water steamed down my back and chest. I screeched. Luckily, nobody saw it. I quickly turned around with an annoyed, yet surprised expression. I was so infuriated when I saw that shitty, familiar face. It was the man that wouldn't find the exit out of my thoughts. His face made me want to break something. It looked like he didn't care. Completely unimpressed. Emotionless, even. The empty water bottle was still dangling over my head.

I was too stressed out, and overwhelmed for this. I have had enough. Before my mind could process what I was doing, I slapped him hard on the cheek. It left a red imprint on his cheek. He didn't react with words. Only just another expression. It spoke for him. He wasn't angry, nor happy. Not emotionless, but not too noticeable. His eyebrows were pricking up slightly, showing a tiny bit of surprise. His eyes weren't focused on me, yet something else. He was thinking about something. He seemed, confused, but not by mine, or his, action. We both knew that he deserved that mark. Without a doubt.

What was he so confused about? He is so focused on whatever was running through his head.

My whole thought process was focused on Scaramouche's thought process. I didn't even realize that something other than water was streaming down my cheeks. My eyes were teary. That's when I started focusing on my own feelings. I was humiliated, even though, nobody was there. I felt extremely pissed, which did not help with the tears. I cry when angry, after all.

Scaramouche's eyes finally met mine. It went back to showing, almost, no emotion. I couldn't even tell what his expression was saying. My eyes were too filled with tears. He just walked away, leaving me to pick up the mess, of water. I hated him in, in that moment. I truly don't know what the fuck is running through his head.

I tried my best to stop crying, but that feeling over came my mind every time. It felt, almost, painful. My eyes were focused on the floor, as I picked up the water with some paper towels, from the bathroom. Soak, throw away. Soak, throw away. It seemed endless.

I sighed, then realized a pair of feet standing before me. My eyes shot up to meet Thoma's, rather concerned, expression. My eyes were still teary, but they softened when I saw him concerned.

"What happened, Y/n?", He asked, kneeling down to help clean up the puddle.

I just shook my head. I didn't even know if it meant that I didn't want to talk about it, or if I was in disbelief. Probably, both. Whatever it meant, he understood, and stopped asking me about it. He just cleaned with me. I was grateful.

I was rather distant, myself, that day. Luckily, I didn't see Scaramouche for the rest of it.

I entered my dorm, and flopped onto my bed. I let all of my gloom soak into the bed for a couple minutes. Then, I sat up. I needed to de-stress, so I went on a walk. It was night, but I didn't care. I was so overwhelmed over just one person.

I didn't see anyone, as I strolled down the empty streets. It was silent, dark, and peaceful. I just kept walking till I didn't recognize where I was. This is when I turned back, before I got lost. I felt calm, and pretty okay when walking back. It all quickly changed.

My silence was caught off by slurred shouts. It sounded like some drunk man. I couldn't tell from where. I figured it out, quite fast. It was some drunk man coming around the corner I was about to turn. He was barely walking in a straight line. An empty glass bottle was still grasped by his fist. I instantly felt uncomfortable. I tried to walk past him, but, of course, he had to bump into me. He instantly turned to me with a foul face.

"Are you asking for a fight, bitch?!" He yelled at me, slightly slurred.

I tried to quickly walk away, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Where the fuck do you think your going?!"

My eyes widened. I quickly pulled away my wrist, and started running. I wanted none of that. None. I was quickly pulled by my waist, into a different alleyway. I almost screamed, but they put a hand over my mouth, to silence me. We both stood in silence as the dunk man passed, stumbling.

Of course, this time I couldn't see who the person was. I didn't need to. I knew who it was. The hooded person quickly walked away.

"Scaramouche...?"

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