Only You ✓

96

    But you can't blame him ever for being like this because when the loneliness creeps in, when you remember how the only person you have by your side has left you to fetch for yourself, when memories of your suffering days after she left you alone hits you like a storm, it's not possible to stay sane and declare that despite everything you will love her more than anything.

     No he's also a human, a boy who was abandoned by his only support system at the tender age of fourteen when it was only few days left for him to turn fifteen when the memory of how his best friend who has left him alone after promising to stay together till the end just a year ago was still haunting him like a nightmare. 

   And it's not easy to forget everything after the mental torture he was forced to go through ever since he was literally made an orphan.

    So the pain, the scars that were still intact in his soul, everything was making it unable to recover from the shock he suffered.

   But then he developed a habit of staying out of the warm indoors on cold chilly nights when his mind kept giving him memories of the icy cold body of his mom. He was actually torturing himself by trying to go through the same thing for failing to protect her even though it wasn't entirely his fault that she gave up after the long battle. 

    But as years passed he grew immune to the frosty weathers he grew a liking for because it made him feel like he could relate to his mom's feelings when she neared her last moments.

And why is Tae unfazed in the cold weather?

     He has found his dead mother's body in the cold floor of her room with no one beside her. Even though he wasn't the one at fault in any way, he still feels that she wouldn't have done that if he hadn't given her the chance by leaving her alone for a day.

   So inorder to torture himself and to get rid of the guilt, he started spending time out in the nights when the temperature falls. It was a kind of coping mechanism he adopted for him not to feel the pain and as years went by, his body was getting used to this, it was able to stay unaffected by it.

    In the first year, he used to get sick because of the cold temperatures he was exposed to. But then his body started to adopt this.

   Another habit that he grew fond of was stargazing. Because he feels like it was his mom who is there as a star in the night sky. 

    He hasn't accepted her death entirely but he felt happier when he could see the countless stars scattered on the sky. Because one among them might be his mom, watching over him with her lovely eyes.

     But after years he has somehow accepted her death. But he was angry at her for being selfish. But it was just pretending. He could never hate her. Because she meant the world to him. It's just his emotions getting the best of him at times.

    He didn't tell Jimin of her death because he didn't want to face the interrogation that would surely follow if he disclosed the secret. But also some part of him wants to live in the illusion that his mom is still alive and he could achieve it in the conversation with Jimin. 

     Even though he accepted the reality he didn't want to let go of his methods which he adopted to stay close to her. If he hasn't accepted her death, why would he simply grow fond of the stars adorning the sky.

    He wasn't fond of the stars like others thought, he was yearning to feel the love and care of his mom who he believes is one of the countless stars in the sky.