My Perfect Addiction

Chapter Nine

It's been a week since I spent the night with Joey and life got back on track as best as I could, with the exception that over the last week as time goes on, I remember more and more of that night. I remember the emotions I felt, the feeling of everything he did to me, and I never felt that way ever. I know I blocked his number but part of me just wants to hear his voice and in my mind, I keep telling myself that he is this mega pop star he probably been with I don't even know how many girls since that night. I sat in my Politics class, but I couldn't concentrate on the professor and his lecture. Holly has been riding my ass all week because she said I been a moody bitch and I wasn't this bad till I went away last weekend. I can tell her why even though she has asked a hundred times. I got so sick of listening to it finally I agreed to go to this little bar in Milton tonight with her and Brayden and Brayden's brother. I figure it would get her off my back and one way or another maybe I can get my mind off of Joey and our night together.

(9pm)

I sat at the bar of this little piano bar that Holly and her boyfriend dragged me to. Brayden's brother Alex sitting on the stool next to me trying my make small talk with me and he seemed like a nice enough guy, but I just wasn't interested in the small talk or anything else. the entire night it almost felt like someone was watching me, but the bar was pretty empty with the exception of us and a few more people and someone over in the VIP section I haven't even seen since I've been here. I finished my third wine and excused myself for the bathroom, not like Holly or Brayden would even notice they are so wrapped up in each other the world could crash down, and no one would break them. I always wondered what it would be like for someone to love me like that, to be so head over heels in love nothing else matters. Let's be real I don't think I ever would know that feeling. I have had no luck with guys to the point where I think it's just going to be the single life for me. I slipped in the bathroom and used it and freshened up quickly. I stepped out the door and a hand grabbed my wrist pulling me around the corner to an empty service hallway. I gasped Till I seen those all-familiar blue eyes looking over at me.

"Jesus Christ Joey what the hell are you doing?"

"Getting your attention, since you blocked my number."

"I did that for a reason, what are you doing here anyways?"

"Same thing you are, having a drink with friends, I seen when you came in."

"What friends, where is your security anyways?"

"Jordan and Danny and I don't have security when I'm home. Thats beside the point Ryder, why did you block my number after that night?"

"I had too"

"Why?"

"I just did....."

It hurt to even look at him, but after that night I knew it was a mistake and I knew he felt the same way. The best thing I could do is just block him and go back to my regular life. Plenty of people have made mistakes and slept with a friend, you just keep moving forward. Problem is not everyone's best friend was Joey and not everyone had the feelings that been pushed down so deep just bubble to the surface. He looked so good standing there in front of me his Celtics hoodie on and his jeans hugging his body just right. I bit me lip looking at him I know I did but in the same instance I had to shake it off, there is never going to be anything between us.

"Ryder why don't you come up with me to VIP and hang out for a while we can talk?"

"No, I can't I am here with my roommate her boyfriend and his brother Alex."

"......I get it you're on a date or something."

"With who.....Alex no. I'm sure that was Holly's plan, but I'm not interested in him." 

"Then come on, I'll come down with you to tell her and grab your jacket, I can bring you back to your dorm after, I have my car outside."

"No Joey you can't .... I can't......"

I didn't leave him a second to respond, because if I did Joey knows how to play me where I'd cave, I can't cave because if I do then I have to face me true feelings and I won't do it. I pulled my wrist from his grasp and jogged off, my heart slamming in my chest. I know Joey wouldn't follow me in front of all those people, it would blow his cover. I glanced back and seen him head back to the stairs going to VIP and I felt the twinge of sadness hit my heart. It was 1am when we left and I spent the rest of the time with my mind on Joey. I sat silently in the front seat next to Alex as he drove back to campus, Holly and Brayden in the backseat cuddling and kissing, how I wish I had someone who loves me like he loves Holly. 

I didn't want to say much as Holly grilled me when we got back to our room on why I was gone to the bathroom so long. I just showered and crawled into bed, my phone in my hand. I just stared at Joey's number on the block list wanting so much to just unblock it and text him. Over the next month Joey was everywhere around here. News, interviews, sighting .... just everywhere. It made me sick to my stomach because I miss him, I just can't bring myself to unblock him. I don't understand why one night of drunk sex has played with my head in this way, it's not like I haven't had sex before.