Call Out My Name

Three Years

Isha's POV.

I'm getting married in a week. Is getting married at 21 young? I'm not sure but I've learned a few things in the past three years.

People tempt to say that entering the 20s is absolutely life changing for everyone. It's constantly evolving as a person. I fully agree with that.

I've changed a lot and so did the people around me. Ezra met a guy in university and she is planning to got engaged. She pursues journalism and she loves it. Justin is working on a business. That's all I know because of social media. He completely disappeared after high school. I'll get to see him after three years at my wedding.

Maryam is working full time as usual. Still single which surprises me. I always thought she'd marry before me. I do pray that she finds someone soon. And, Sanam is just the usual her. She's in high school and she's enjoying it. She doesn't want to commit to the hijab yet which is a bit weird because Maryam and I had began wearing it in high school and she kind of broke the cycle. But, that's okay. She'll wear it whenever she feels ready. She's still a brat though.

Miran is...nice. So nice to me. And, I feel like I'm betraying him and myself. He doesn't know that yet. I thought I'll be able to feel something and eventually fall for him but it never happened. When Ezra had left for university and we were separated, it was Maryam who'd come every week with me to meet him at different restaurants and cafés. I'd barely have anything to talk to him about. Maryam would do all the talking. I had someone else on my mind. Someone that is still hard to forget.

How did I manage to still keep him? Well, I don't know. He's still into me. Believe me, I asked him a few times if he was still sure and he always sounds sure.

So here we are, we are finally having the Nikah. We were engaged for three years already and now it's time to make it official. After this, we have bigger wedding preparations to do because we can't forget that I am desi and my parents are cultural. They want the big wedding that lasts two weeks to happen.

Maybe I'll feel something towards him after the mariage. While being closer to him, by getting to know him even better. Maybe but...I just can't promise anything. It's like my heart has a lock on it and I don't find any key to open it.

I had guys trying to hit on me in university even if they clearly knew that I was engaged. I had zero interest. I thought maybe if Miran wasn't the one, someone else could be. Maybe Allah had someone else planned for me but it's been three years and yet nothing. I don't feel anything towards anyone. I don't find anyone attractive or handsome. There's nothing.

Ever since he left me in pieces, I've never been the same teenage girl. I've lost weight. A lot of weight. At first, I would starve myself but then I began eating again. I've still got my chubby cheeks which I guess will always be a part of my face. My style changed, I don't dress up like a tomboy anymore. I can't believe I'm saying that but I dress like an adult. Formal, simple and feminine. I wear heels as well. I work at the bank part time and that's when I began to get used to heels. I hated it at first but then I got used to it. Unbelievable. The younger me would never even do that.

"Isha" ammi came in my room as I was packing my stuff.

"Hi ammi," but most importantly my relationship with my parents evolved. That's probably the only best thing I got out of meeting that monster.

They told me about my truth and from there I got really close to them. They don't yell at me, they don't raise their hand on me. They give me the respect I deserve. I appreciate that so much.

"Meri jaan, I have something to give you" she said taking a seat on my bed.

"What it is?" I asked sitting beside her.