LEFT BEHIND

Chapter 33

My shoulders heaved with every breath as I pummeled my fists into the punching bag over and over again.

I knew how to be angry. And being angry was better than being sad. Why were they even here. This was American territory. They were risking their lives just being here. Were they all here? I knew Leo had become an assassin so maybe he was just in a mission. 16 hours away from his home though?

I let out a frustrated groan as I stopped the punching bag with both hands, leaning my head on it as I caught my breath.

"Yknow if you talk to me and tell me what's wrong I can help you," a voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Abigail standing there with her arms crossed.

I shook my head going back to hitting the punching bag. "You're not helping yourself by keeping everything in Drea." She said but I continued to punch the bag.

"You need to understand that you're not alone anymore. You're no longer with those assholes. You're with us now. We're your family. And we're not going to judge you. We just want to help." She said. I stopped punching the bag. I stood completely still as I heard her footsteps going towards the door.

In my mind I was aware that I wasn't alone but my heart couldn't seem to let go of the fear that I would once again be left out in the cold. I was convinced if I never opened myself up to them It would hurt less when I was eventually thrown aside.

But that was a stupid belief. Because I was already attached. So why keep bottling everything inside. It was going to hurt regardless...

"I saw him," I said making Abigail stop in her tracks. "Leo, I mean"

I heard Abigail walk towards me. "When?" She asked.

"Yesterday. After the mission. H-he was at the bar and there was this girl all over him. He looked happy." I said turning around to face the older woman. "I know it's not fair to hold them to anything it's been five years but I just thought-" I stopped. "Actually I don't know what I thought." I said my eyebrows furrowing.

Part of me had thought my 'death' would make them upset. Was it selfish of me to want them to be sad for just a little longer?

Alessandro had said they knew the truth. But I wasn't fully sure what truth that was. If it was that I hadn't shot my father then that was stupid. I had told them the truth. They had chosen to ignore it.

"Andrea, you do know. What did you think," Abigail prodded.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore I have things to do." I said unwrapping my knuckles making my way out of the small ring.

"Andrea don't push me away." Abigail tried but I ignored her making my way down to the cells.

I couldn't tell her. She'd think of me a monster. I wanted my brother's to suffer. I wanted them to cry over me. I wanted their happiness to be stripped away from them. I wanted them to bury their hearts along with my casket. I couldn't tell Abigail that.

I marched past the rows of cells filled with traitors and other idiots. I walked straight towards Amelie's cell where I knew carol was going nuts. The boys didn't like torturing women. So carol and Stacey would come in and have their fun.

I sauntered into the cell where carol stood arms crossed in front of a bloody Amelie who's head hung low.

"Geez carol you've had your fun with her."  I whistled making my way next to carol.

"Well she's a though nut to crack." Carol shrugged checking her watch. "Oh by the way Stacey's got a date today so come help me help her in like 5 minutes." She said. I nodded before carol left the room.