space girl | bumblebee

xv.

TW: talk of self-harm--only talk.

Onyxia was terrified. She had never been more terrified in her life. Her holoform was flickering wildly and she could barely see straight due to the searing pain she felt within her. She could just barely see the silhouette of Sam being flung across the building. When she had the opportunity, she ushered Mikaela and the scrawny boy towards her. She could hear faint voices echoing around her--the voices of Sam and Megatron. While not entirely clear, Sam's tone of voice indicated great panic and distress.

"What's happening..." Onyxia mumbled, clutching her head as it throbbed.

"H-He's going to get rid of his brain...?" Mikaela's voice echoed faintly. "Oh, my God..."

Just then, Starscream noticed the trio behind Onyxia's bipedal mode. With a sneer, he grabbed Onyxia's holoform harshly and gave her to Megatron, who muttered thoughtfully.

"After all the trouble you've caused me, my niece...I think killing you would be a mercy, don't you?" he mused, causing Onyxia's eyes to water in terror.

"So weak...so feeble...so vulnerable...you've always used your holoform far too much...I think I know the perfect way to get you out of my way for the rest of your short and miserable life," Megatron finished. "Extract her spark, Starscream."

"N-No, no, Uncle, please!" Onyxia sobbed, struggling against his tight grip. "Please, stop, no, please! Please, PLEASE!" She screamed in pure, unadulterated agony as she felt her spark get ripped out of her spark chamber. Although, Megatron's next move was not one she expected. While the humans around her were screaming and yelling, she felt a strong pressure on her chest, and her head cleared and the only pain she felt was in her chest. She was almost too scared to look down, but her curiosity got the better of her.

She regretted it immediately. Her spark was in her chest, but not in her bipedal mode. Her blood ran cold in realisation as she gazed upon her lifeless Cybertronian body. She let out a strangled sob and clutched her still-open and mangled chest with shaky hands. She could reach into her chest and rip out her spark, ending her misery completely. But did she really have the courage to do so? Could she do that to her father? Leave him completely? Could she do that to Bumblebee?

"My dear, niece...I hope you enjoy the last few years of your life in agony. I believe you should see the end of your life in a decade. A fitting end to your disappointing life," Megatron spoke smugly, tossing her to the floor. Her spark somehow managed to remain in her chest. A small deception approached her with a clearly rusty needle and thread and began to stitch the gaping hole in her chest. She writhed around on the floor as the needle weaved in and out of her, eventually sealing her wound. Time had passed slowly for her, but her strength grew every second. 

Interrupting Megatron's plans to kill Sam was a loud crash followed by the greatly missed whirs of Bumblebee, gunshots, and the voice of Optimus. They had arrived at last, and while they had come in time to save Sam, they were too late for Onyxia. While Optimus had taken the fight with Megatron outside the building, Onyxia heard the distressed whirs of Bumblebee.

"What happened? W-Why is she...What..." her partner spoke quietly. Onyxia thought to stay quiet, hoping that she would be left for dead, rotting in the building for the rest of her life, but she could no longer contain her pained sobs. She lay on her side, caked in energon and dirt, wishing that she were dead.

Her partner found her in no time, bringing out his holoform as he transformed into his altmode. "Get in, Mikaela," he ordered, softly running a hand through his partner's matted hair to try to soothe her. Sam was already being taken away in Optimus, which only left Mikaela and the scrawny boy.

"Thank the Primes you're alive," he whispered softly, snaking his arms around her torso and under her knees and lifting her close to his chest. She buried her face in his chest and continued to release sobs of great emotional pain. "What did he do to you?"

She couldn't speak. She only shook her head and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He began whispering words of reassurance before he gently placed her in the backseat of his altmode and drove out of the building. Slowly, but surely, she gained her strength back as her spark worked to keep her body going. She sat up and felt her chest. It was...healed. Completely. Suppose that's the only benefit, Onyxia thought bitterly.

"W-where's dad?" she stuttered, still letting out little hiccups now and then. "Bee?"

"We're on the way now, Onyxia, don't worry. I'm going as fast as I can." There was a sense of urgency in his voice that left Onyxia with an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Silence. "Bee? What's wrong?" She could feel it. It was sickening, almost. She had lost something, not her body, but something else. Something more important to her. Her breathing accelerated as her partner's silence continued. When they reached a forest just beside the road they were on, Onyxia saw the disaster occurring before her very eyes, and in the centre of it all was her father's corpse. She heard screaming, shrill and overwhelmed with grief, and it took her a few moments to recognise it as her own. She tried to get out of Bumblebee to reach her father, only for Sam to hold her back as he got in.

"Daddy!" she sobbed, pounding against the window and fiddling with the door handle--anything to get to her father. "Daddy, no!" The young Sparkling within her took over, masking the part of herself that was a Prime. All those centuries with her father, not only growing herself but watching him grow as a Cybertronian and a Prime, flashed through her mind. Holding her father's hand, being cradled in his chest, training with him, greeting him after he returned from battle, fighting beside him...

"Daddy, look what I made you!"

"Daddy, I want to be just like you!"

"Daddy, I want to help you!"

"I love you, my child...my precious, Onyxia..."

She could hear his voice in her head--taunting her, almost-- and reminding her of the pure and genuine love he expressed whenever they talked. When was the last time she had said 'I love you' to him? Thoughts of what her last words could have been left her with a bad taste in her mouth. While she could not have known her father would have passed, it didn't stop her from feeling the immense guilt that came with the realisation that her last words were not even close to words of endearment. Adding to her guilt was the thought that she hadn't said 'I love you' at all during his time on Earth. More than twelve thousand years without expressing her love to her father. 

She was disgusted with herself. 

"Just kill me!" Onyxia howled, "Just kill me! Please...!" She continued to beg and pound against the window but to no avail. Her partner would not let her leave for her own safety, nor would he acknowledge her pleas to be killed. To try and ease her pain and misery, he brought his holoform out beside her. He rested a hand on her shoulder and almost immediately she wrapped her arms around her partner and cried into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, running his hand up and down her back to soothe her.

"I want him back!" Onyxia bawled. "Give him back...!"

Ironically, she eventually cried herself to sleep just as she would with Optimus when she was a sparkling.