December Special 4-6

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Arthit

"Merry Christmas!" Watching everyone around him cheer and shout as they congratulated, hugged, and kissed one another Arthit did his best to smile. Unconsciously he twiddled with a ring that was no longer there. While looking at his friend Bright and Rome kissing under the mistletoe tears blurred his eyes as he witnessed one of the craziest in their ex-hazer group get on one knee to ask the other man to marry him. 

"You okay?" Knott his best friend walked over to offer some comfort to him.

"I'm fine."

"Arthit. I know you hate anyone bringing this up but. It's been a year now. In the time since that happened with Nong Kongpob. You've been like this." 

"I'm okay. It's just the season. I think I'm catching a cold. Maybe I should head back home." Without another word, he simply headed out of Bright's bar and made his way outside. Somehow, this season also felt suffocating. 

Back then, he thought that he was going to lose his mind. Breathing had become unbearable and he'd wanted to simply get out of there. He had not realized he was not wearing any shoes until he heard people gasping around him. He had been lucky that he had not gotten frostbite.  He had nowhere to go other than Kongpob and Byul. Arthit had not known anyone else in China. He remembers going into a small motel someone there bought him a pair of slippers. His luggage and everything had been left in Kongpob's apartment. With no choice, he called Byul. Within a couple of hours, she had gone to pick him up with her parents. He had apologized, cried, and repeated that cycle over and over again. 

Byul had immediately sent her father over to get his things. 

"If he gets difficult father can beat him up. He was a boxer." Byul had said to him. Arthit remembers staying for only a couple more hours. He knew how Kongpob was and left before his luggage had even arrived. Byul had agreed to ship it to him as soon as she could.  Arthit had then spent about two weeks at his parent's house crying like a little baby over his heartbreak. 

They had been so afraid that he would get sick as he refused to eat anything. Not that he could keep anything down. When he finally had gotten back to work he worked himself to the bone for the next month or so until he collapsed due to lack of sleep, proper eating, and plain exhaustion. 

It was Knot, Bright, Prem, and Tutah who had remained at his side. They had chosen to go away for a weekend. They allowed Arthit to get so drunk and cry on their shoulders. They never spoke of it again. They were his best friends and they knew that this was something Arthit simply hoped to forget. But Kongpob had been the love of his life, his soulmate. The person he had loved most in this world. Arthit doubted that there would really be someone else after that man that he loved so much. 

A year had passed since the last time he talked to the other man. That did not mean that he did not have memories that reminded him of Kongpob. After everything that happened, he had chosen to move out of his old apartment. It had too many memories of the two,  it was his choice after Kongpob had continued to call him, email him, text him, he had gone so far as to send him gifts. The love box that Arthit had set up in his room had remained unplugged after it spun for an entire day without stopping.  

He knew that they could not leave things as they were. He sent a letter to the other man begging to be let go. There was only so much that he could do but he sent back the gear with it. Since then Kongpob had left him alone. 

Any memory that he had with the other man as painful as it was to get rid of; he had. He stored them at his parent's house as he did not want any reminders. He had told himself that when he was ready he would get rid of them. Arriving at his apartment he stopped fighting back tears.

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