Chapter 33

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Donovan's words repeat over in my head, playing over and over again.

Did he really not care if Alex had lived or died?

I understood him in ways he would never know, because I've felt like that, not feeling regret over someone, even if I could change it.

My mom... she knew about my dad, she knew what happened to him and she let me believe someone killed him, other than telling me the truth.

Looking at Donovan, asleep next to me, I realize I only have him, and Robbie, although I'm not entirely sure after how I spoke to him last.

"I can hear you thinking." Donovan mumbles out tiredly, his eye's still closed.

I turn my head and lay facing him and sigh.

"What's on your mind?" He asked, opening his eyes, and facing me.

He's so beautiful, it should make me cringe for thinking since I've never thought that about a man before... but he is, Donovan was too handsome to simply resist.

"My mom."

The look on his face told me he knew what I was thinking about as he got up to rest against the headboard.

"How did you feel?" I mumble out, sitting up. "When you found out about Alex not killing my dad?"

Donovan chuckles darkly as he hums out, a menacing shadowing his face.

"Betrayed." He simply said.

"They both hung Alex and what she did over my head, for years after her death, and because of it, we made a deal."

"What deal?" I ask.

Smiling at me, Donovan shrugged. "If I kept quiet about it, the deal was I'd only get to see them once a year."

It's all making sense now. "On your birthday?" I question and he nodded his head.

"It sounded good at the time until that once a year rolled around, and I had to see them."

My heart breaks for him once I turn the light on and see his face.

This man, who was powerful and strong, had everything he could ever want in the palm of his hands, yet he was this... broken.

I never saw it until now.

"It's not your fault." I whisper out, coming closer to hold his hand, making him look at me with sad eyes.

He smiles sadly and shakes his head, before laughing and rubbing his face with his other hand.

"You're not the first person I've lied to, Evan."

My heart almost stops when he looks at me, still processing the words that came out of his mouth.

"I'm not a good man Evan." He says roughly, his eyes turning cold. "I've used people for my own benefit, and I enjoyed it."

"I still... think about it, her death."

I swallow hard as the room goes silent I look at Donovan, completely broken and believing afterword he's saying.

"Donovan, after going through what you did..." I put my hands on either side of his face, making him look at me. "I... I think that's very normal."

"But you survived!" I tell him. "Going through that alone, with no one to talk to, with that family... you need to forgive yourself."

"Forgive... for what?" He asked, his eyes searching mine for answers.

"I know you cared about Alex, I can see it on your face, I know how much it hurts you and how much you blame yourself, and I see what it's doing to you." I say.

"You need to forgive yourself because none of this is your fault, you did what anyone would've done, to protect yourself from getting hurt."

Donovan closes his eyes and then puts his hand over mine on his cheek.

"You're too good for me Evan." He chuckled. "I could be the devil and you'd still plead my case to the gods of my innocence."

I was about to say something, but Donovan moves and pushes me backward as he climbs on top of me, his hands holding mine above my head.

"How do you do that?" He breathes out, his eyes focused on me. "How can you stay so positive, when I'm the cause of your dad's death?"

My stomach drops, but I don't let his words affect me as I look up confidently at him.

"You weren't the cause." I snap out. "So stop blaming yourself, it was never your fault."

He smiled, then leaned down and kisses me on the lips, gently, like a feather gracefully touching my lips.

"I'm hungry." He suddenly says, his face suddenly stoic.

I blink and look up confused at him. "Sorry?"

"Let's both go out, on a date."

My eyeballs almost pop out as he gets off me, and goes into the bathroom to start the shower.

I get up and sit on the bed, completely dumbfounded.

A date?

In public?

"I was thinking Italian." Donovan says coming into the bedroom, with a toothbrush in his mouth.

"A friend from university owns a place downtown, it's quiet and private, and nobody will bother us there."

"What's wrong with you? Did you hit your head?" I joke nervously, as my heart pounds against my chest as I follow him back into the bathroom.

Spitting out the mouthwash into the sink, he looks at me in the mirror with a raised brow.

"No." He said, pulling me close. "I just want to spend time with you, as normal people do."

I snort out. "We're not normal people, Donovan."

He smirked, then leaned forward and pecked me on the nose. "Tonight we are."

He moves away and gets into the shower and then starts washing himself. "Either you're still that shy boy, or you're second-guessing this."

"So which is it?" He asks, his eyes making me melt through the glass window of the shower.

Fuck, how does he do that? I felt my stomach jump, twist, and freaking turn just from a look from him.

I'm such a fucking goner. "Shut up."

I get into the shower with him with blushed cheeks, trying my best to hide them but Donovan laughs out and I know he saw them.

"You can be shy." He whispers into my ear, coming up behind me, making my heart race. "I think it's cute."

"Men aren't cute." I groan out, swatting his hand away from me as 1 go to clean myself.

"Then explain how cute you look when you're trying to fit my cock down your throat." He says, his hand going around my neck, making me bend back to see his face.

The water made him look sexier than usual, I couldn't explain it, his hair is usually tidy, but it was messy, making him look normal, and less like Donovan Steele, the handsome and scary billionaire.

My manhood starts to swell at how much I think it suits him, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Donovan, not one bit.

His other hand wraps around my erection as I feel him smirk into my shoulder, his own large erection grinding against my back.

My legs start to go weak once he starts stroking me, his lips leaving small kisses as his erection against my back pokes into me.

"So." He whispers seductively. "Italian?"

His hard thick cock slides into me, making me moan out as I grip the wall for support as he pushes his erection fully inside of me, as far as his length would go.

Swallowing hard, my chest fluttering as his deep voice makes my toes curl, I nod my head sheepishly.

Fuck yes, I want Italian.

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