Chapter 22

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Finishing on set for the last day of filming, everyone was celebrating, oblivious to the vibe in the room.

Since Amanda and I locked lips by my trailer, she's not spoken to me or looked at me, she did only when we have a scene together, other than that, she was ignoring me.

I fucked up, and now people have noticed a rift between her and me, because I fucking kissed her, like an idiot.

It's even reached gossip websites online that she and I are having a 'lovers quarrel' after someone on set leaked that we were close, and then suddenly not talking to the press.

It's been four months since then, and the rumors are getting worse, making it impossible to leave my new apartment without being hounded by the press.

Everyone's celebrating finishing the show, and all I want to do is leave... I can't take this day any longer, I'm tired, and honestly at my lowest, considering what today also is...

Today may be the last day of filming, but it's also the anniversary of my dad's death.

It's been hard the last few months, my schedule has been packed to the point where I've not had a single day off to myself.

I've not seen Donovan since, I moved agencies, which I really didn't want but I couldn't see any other way around it than leaving Desire and finding another agency to take me on.

Luckily, the show was doing so well that I had lots of offers until I settled on one to represent me.

I'm sending monthly checks from my earnings from the ads I've been in, to the show appearances I've attended, just so I can pay back the money to Donovan.

"What's next for you then Evan?" Rose asks, an extra on the show. "I heard a rumor you're going to be in an action movie with Tom Dean!" She says, coming closer.

I smile politely and shrug, shifting in my seat.

Where did she hear that? "I'm going to take time for myself, but that could happen, I'm up for anything, as long as I'm fully dressed this time." I say, making her blush.

"Evan!" Chrissy sits down, looking tipsy. "We're all gonna miss you, let's hope for a second season next year!"

I smile tightly praying for anything but a second season, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

Chrissy became a friend here, she's a stuntwoman and one of the most down-to-earth girls I've met in the industry so far.

"Well, if you miss me I'm always a call away." I joke, trying my best to smile.

Chrissy looks are me and then smiles sadly, before wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry about your dad." She says softly in my ear. "Nobody will look twice if you left early, we're all here for you Evan." She says, rubbing my back.

I nod my head and then pull away, when I look around I notice that everyone was eating cake, and talking amongst themselves.

She's right, I should go, it's getting harder and harder to just sit here and ruin the fun for everyone else, besides, I needed to pick up the flowers and then drive down to the cemetery in my hometown outside NY.

"Thanks, Chris, have a good weekend."

We say our goodbyes and then I take this opportunity to leave, saying 'bye' and 'thank you' along the way as I pass crewmembers.

I get into my new smart car and drive out of the studio lot, and make my way towards my apartment, then to the flower shop.

I don't even have to guess if my mom will show up, I know she won't, she's never been the same since my dad got in a car accident and died.

My dad, Richard Beckett died after some drunk driver crashed into him and then drove off without a single injury or dent in their car.

He was coming home after a fishing trip, and some drunk asshole left him in an upside-down car, passed out with a piece of car lodged in his chest, for hours until someone found him.

The drunk driver was never found, and his case was a cold one, meaning.. they had given up trying and just forgotten about him.

This day... this day has always been hard for me, every year since his death I make my way back home outside NY and honor his memory by doing things he loved doing together.

Despite my fame and all the friends I've made in the past few months, I have never felt more lonely.

They never tell you once you make it, that it's this bad, and that it's just you, on your own to deal with it alone.

Once I make it home and get freshened up, I pick up the flowers for his grave and then drive down to where he's buried.

Coming to the empty graveyard made everything I feel ten times worse, but as usual, I kept it together, not wanting to show weakness, not here...

Not today.

I find his grave and then bend down and place the flowers in front of his headstone, before sitting down, thinking of all the things I want to say to him, and where to start.

"Hi dad, it's me, Evan." I start by saying, putting my hand on his headstone. "I just came from the studio...

"I made it dad... I finally made my dream come true, just like you always said I would if I just never gave up." I force out my voice breaking.

"I wish you were here dad." Tears fall down my face as I grip my head while my heart feels like it's breaking apart and start crying into my sleeve.

I didn't want to come here and cry like this, not here, not in front of him...

If he was here, he'd tell me it was normal to cry, and then wrap his arms around me telling me he's proud of me.

I don't know how much time had passed since I arrived here, but it's pitch black and 1 AM when I look at the time.

Spending the rest of the day next to my dad's grave made me realize just how much everything had changed, and how little I haven't changed.

Turning my phone on, I see that I've gotten a few missed calls from Robbie.

Robbie knew I'd be here, but it doesn't stop him from checking up on me.

I have other messages but I don't look at them and turn my phone off again.

I don't want to go back just yet... there's nothing to go back to but an empty apartment anyways, so I choose to stay, nobody will care if I stay.

I rest my back against his headstone and close my eyes, listening to the owls and insects all around me talking as let it calm me down.

It's so peaceful here... unlike the city, where I'm followed around on a daily basis by Connor Whitlock fans and hounded by people with cameras, reporting to some news or gossip website.

I let the sounds of the graveyard take over my exhausted body, feeling as if all the weight off my shoulders is finally lifted, and then allow my body to rest, with the image of my dad next to me, telling me to sleep.

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