Chapter 20

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Come Monday, my eyes were less bloodshot and my voice had somewhat gone back to normal, despite spending all weekend feeling like I had been run over by a car.

I spent the weekend at Robbie's and didn't go back to the apartment the agency gave me, and even if I could, I wouldn't, I've made a fool out of myself too much to last me a lifetime to go crawling back there.

The whole weekend, Robbie didn't ask what had happened, he stayed with me all weekend and we just sat and watched movies, while I sat there and felt sorry for myself, and stupid... so fucking stupid.

Donovan had tried to get in contact with me, even going as far as to leave voicemails for me, which I deleted as soon as they came before I turned my phone off.

It's money, and once again, I have to go to set and pretend I'm fine when in reality, I'm angry and pissed off with myself, for how foolish I felt by telling Donovan I loved him.

I don't even know if I loved him, I don't even know how I felt about him, what I did know was Donovan broke my fucking heart, and there was no way I could face him again, without punching him in his perfect fucking face.

I arrive on set on time and head straight to makeup and wardrobe to get ready for the big scene with Amanda, a scene I was looking forward to, but now when I think about it, I start feeling less and less motivated.

"Morning beautiful lady." I say once entering the makeup trailer, as soon as I see Jill, the one who does my makeup and dresses me and the rest of the cast.

"Good weekend?" I ask, sitting down on the chair in front of the mirror.

"Morning handsome, my weekend was-" She stops talking once she sees my bloodshot eyes.

"Woah, baby boy, what's wrong with your face?" She shrieks out, coming to look at my face, touching it, before staring at me seriously.

"What happened?" She looks more closely. "Don't tell me you spent the whole weekend partying till late?"

I laugh nervously and scratch my chin. "Something like that."

She shakes her head and then gets ready to get to work on me.

"I have a son too you know, I can smell a lie from a mile away Evan."

I cringe and sink into the chair as I sigh tiredly. "Is it that obvious?"

Shrugging, she starts doing my hair. "I've known you for over a month now Evan, I know enough that you didn't spend the weekend partying, you're better than that."

"But you know what?" She says, making me look at her in the mirror.

"You get up and carry on because that's how you survive, you fall down just so you get back up again, and then kick the ass of whoever made you fall down in the first place."

I laugh and instantly start to feel better about coming to work.

Jill has a point, and fuck- talking to her makes me feel better because she reminds me so much of my mom, before the drugs, before the alcohol, before any of that shit got to her.

Other makeup crew and actors start coming into the trailer so I greet them 'good morning' and they do the same to me as we make small talk as Jill and her team get to work before it's time to shoot.

Once I'm ready, and in costume, I head into the studio and instantly see Amanda wearing nothing but a skimpy lace matching bra and panties, sitting on the edge of the bed where the last episode ended.

I walk over and whistle out using my fingers once I get close to her, then wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at her as she hides her face from the camera crew looking over in amusement at me.

"Don't do that Evan." She whacks me playfully. "I look ridiculous, just look at me!" She says in horror, making me laugh as I sit beside her.

I look her over and she really didn't, in fact, she looked amazing, if I wasn't feeling like complete shit right now and questioning my sexuality, I'd be teasing her and most probably trying not to flirt with her, despite knowing how she feels about me.

"Did you have a good weekend?" She asks, turning to face me and smiling. "I tried to call you but your phone was off."

"Oh."I smile apologetically. "Yeah, sorry, I spent the weekend with friends, I didn't bring my charger so my phone died."

I feel bad for lying, but it's not fully wrong, I didn't bring my charger when I packed my stuff and left, and my phone really did die.

"It's fine, I was just wondering if you'd like to hang out or something." She shyly says, biting her lip. "Maybe this weekend?"

"If you're free, that is." She quickly adds, as pink rises to her cheeks.

I don't get a chance to say anything as the director announces he's ready to start filming, and for everyone to get to their positions.

I roll my eyes as I see the excitement on the crew's faces once I get into position on top of Amanda on the bed, knowing what scene this is and what's about to go down.

I look down at Amanda and see how nervous she is.

"Don't look at them, just focus on me, okay?" I say, making her look at me and not the cameras. "They're not here, it's just you and me."

She nods her head nervously and puts her hand on my shoulder, ready for the director to start shooting.

I give her a comforting smile once I see she's taking my advice and looking only at me, and not paying attention to anyone else.

"Let's give them a show Princess." I whisper into her ear, once the lights dim in the studio making her breath tickle my neck as she laughs out quietly.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, making up my mind that I want to get this in a single shot, when the director yells action, I open my eyes and do what I do best... the only thing I have left, my job.

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