The only thing she is certain of, it's Alfred's love. She thinks they are meant to be, he promised so. So what will happen when Judith decides she is no fit to be queen? Moreover, with the death of Ragnar Lothbrok there's a possibility of the viking...
Alfred is lying down on my lap as he stares at the lake. The wind picks up and manages to mess his raven hair. I raise my hand to place back his locks where they belong. He does not look up, but I can see a smile adorning his features. My hand, which is on his cheek, descends to his jaw. Alfred sighs. In the morning, he surprised me by taking me out to eat nearby the pond. This time with him has been the most special of my life, I can honestly say that I am completely in love with Alfred.
However, when we started our relationship, we both knew the complications it could bring to come from different classes. The courtship between us can never truly be real, and yet some part of me expects things to change. Maybe, Judith will see that it is me who his son is truly happy with. Maybe, King Ecberth will grant us marriage. After all, Alfred is not the first in line for the throne. Prince Aethelwulf comes next, then followed by Prince Aethelred. There is no need for them to think that I have my sights on the throne. Which I don't, all I want in this life is to be with Alfred for as long as I can. My fear of marriage is no longer there, if I think that my husband could be Alfred because I know he would treat me right. All of this is just desires and wishes, our relationship remains a secret only a few know about. King Ecberth and Prince Aethelred are two of them. The latter found out when he caught Alfred and I kissing in the stables. It was a miracle he was alone and swore to keep our secret. Princess Judith does not know anything about it, as far as I am aware. My mother knows even less. According to her, I am happily virgin and naive.
Last month, I went to visit her at my sister's house. She was very excited because she had found me a potential husband. Mother never told me the details about the man she chose for me, but Edburga's mockery was an indication of my misfortune. It was not until I asked Eadgyd about it, that she told me Mother was planning to marry me off to an old Count whose youngest son is my age. Eadgyd mentioned that she heard her husband talking about my betrothed. Apparently, the man is known to beat women when he loses his temper. She also told me Mother said a 'strong hand' would help me learn my place. Eadgyd disagreed with her, but there is nothing she can do about it. At least, she told me she is comfortable in her marriage, if not a little bored.
So now I am forced into a potential arranged marriage. As for now, Mother will arrive in a weeks' time to discuss the proposal with King Ecbert, or more like, to obtain his blessing. She did not need it for Eadgyd, but since I am the King's protégée, she must obtain it. Even though I know the King has a soft spot for me, I know he will not deny the union. I am old enough for marriage now, if I wait any longer, no man will want me in a few years. There is no real reason for King Ecbert to refuse the blessing. The Count, despite his age and bad temper, has a good position and money. Being in a secret relationship is no impediment. Unless, of course, the Prince is willing to manifest his interest in me.
"Mother will arrive next week" I murmur as I continue caressing Alfred's hair. He acknowledges my words with a nod, but does not add anything. I press on, "she is coming to discuss my marriage with the King."
At the news, Alfred stiffens. He knows about my mother's plans to marry me off to the Count. I told him as soon as I knew. However, we have been avoiding talking about the matter. Our pretending that this is not happening can no longer continue. It is inevitable, either this decision will bring us together or tear us apart. We both know that things will not be the same after. Our quiet and intimate time together has come to an end. I believe there are only two ways this will end. I might be allowed to shape my relationship with Alfred into something more, or I will be forced to end this affair before my wedding day. Whatever it is, Mother's desires bring closure to my teenage love for Alfred.
"I understand we have been postponing talking about it, but we must do so now, my love." My voice is soft, I do not want to scare Alfred away with my next words. "I have been thinking... If a better proposition catches my mother's attention, she might consider declining the Count's offer."
Alfred turns his head to look at me, halting my moves. "A better proposition?"
Must I say it out loud? "Yes, Mother believes marriage is the next step for me, the Count is just a Count, Mother will surely be more perceptive towards someone of higher birth."
Alfred raises a brow, "like a Marquis?"
The youngest prince is clever in scholarly matters, but daft in love affairs. "Like a Prince."
His pretty mouth opens in understanding, though I can see hesitancy in his eyes. He takes a moment to answer. My heart picks up its speed, and my eyes water at the unsaid rejection. Alfred must notice because he quickly sits up, and cages my face in his hands.
"I love you," there is no lie behind his words. "If it were just about me, I would have already married you." My chest feels less constricted at his words. "You know the court is more complicated than love. Believe me when I say this, there is nothing more that I want than to marry you."
I know what he means about the court. Love, desire, marriage, and duty run along different lines for nobility. Rarely you get to have all those things with the same person. I do not think I have met anyone who is lucky like that. I have love and desire with Alfred, and I am expected to have marriage and duty with the Count. Thus, I see what Alfred means, and I know that the possibilities of us marrying are short, yet I also know that if I do not try I will never forgive myself.
"Perhaps... perhaps if you talk to your mother, she will agree to us." It might be a long shot. "King Ecberth already supports us, he would agree to our marriage."
Alfred remains quiet for a moment, looking at the lake. His thumbs caress my cheeks softly in a calming manner. He does not want me to believe he is rejecting me, he is just analyzing, as the strategist he is. Alfred's eyes find me, the resolve leaves me breathless. I am so lost in them that I almost miss him leaning into me. His lips find mine instantly, morphing into one; like meant to be. They dance until his teeth nibble my bottom lip gently. A gasp escapes my throat. Soft, wet, tongue enters my mouth uninvited to start a battle where he mostly surrenders. My hand is in Alfred's hair, pulling, bringing him closer to me. I am not aware of how it happened. I do not think I will ever be tired of Alfred's ministrations. We share a few more kisses under the sun before he releases my lips.
"I will talk to Mother tomorrow. I promise I will do everything I can."
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The story has stopped going through the years. We will focus on 18y/o Leofflaed from now on. Remember that we have a bit of Alfred's story with her before Ivar comes back.
