[Rough Draft] Keres : The Walking Dead

Dennise

We get back to Alexandria and Rick and I find that Morgan has made an entire cell in the basement of one of the houses. He claims that it'll give us choices next time and I scoff.

"Actually, I could use it." Rick says and I look at him surprised.

"You can't be serious." I scoff.

"I never said it was for outsiders." Rick clarifies and I glare at him.

"You wouldn't." I scoff.

"You disobeyed a direct order, you need to answer for that." He says and I roll my eyes.

"Just one problem, you'll never get me in there." I chuckle and walk away and I can hear him sigh.

I head to bed and I feel Rick's side dip in a few minutes later. I huff as I look over at him and he looks at me.

"I still don't get why you can't just listen to me." He sighs calmly.

"Listening...sorry, don't recognize it." I smirk and he chuckles and rolls his eyes.

"What am I gonna do with you?" He shakes his head.

"Rick, this has never been a problem before...it can't just be because I passed out, what is this really about?" I ask and he seems to think for a minute.

"I saw you out there killing the walkers when they flooded into Alexandria...it wasn't like it usually is. Usually it looks like a chore to you, but that night, it looked like you enjoyed it. You shouldn't enjoy killing..." He states carefully.

"Rick, killing isn't the part I enjoy. It's the complete freedom of not having to hold anything back. Taking out all my frustrations without hurting you or anyone else. That's what I enjoy. It helps me blow off steam." I try to explain and he sighs.

"I want you to talk to me about your frustrations. I don't want you to have to hold all that in until you get to kill again." He says as he sits up.

"It's not that easy." I shake my head and sit up too.

"What do you mean?"

"The frustration inside of me is something I can't talk about because I can't remember it. The frustration and anger and hatred is stemming from somewhere I can't reach and the only way that seems to alleviate the pressure it creates is not holding anything back physically, spilling blood. I don't know why, trust me, I've tried everything else, nothing works." I try to explain it so he'll understand.

"Has it always been like this?" He asks and I huff.

"Not with killing, no. I mean it was always physical, like punching walls or breaking stuff, but as I got older it just kept getting worse. It wasn't until the prison that it got really bad, like to the point I had to kill to make it stop." I tell him the truth.

"That's why you always took the shifts at the fence." He says and I nod.

"It kept me in check. Something about watching something die, making something die, calmed me down." I gulp and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Alright. We're gonna figure this out. I promise." He says and brings me into a hug.

———

I wake up the next morning and Rick's gone. I sigh as I get ready, hoping I didn't scare him away. I get ready and head outside and Daryl comes over to me.

"Mornin' wanna go on a run with me?" Daryl asks with a small smirk.

"Why the hell not." I shrug and he gives me a punch to the shoulder.

"I have to get my stuff then." I say and he nods.

"I'm gonna get the list from Dennise, I'll meet you at the gate." He nods and takes off.