𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

14 | Stay

*Song rec - Bad Habit
by Ben Platt*

My body shakes as sweat runs down my spine, and my breathing is loud throughout my dark room. Another Nightmare, same shit.

I haven't had one in a while, I started thinking maybe they went away but I was wrong. All my thoughts ran through my head, making me shake my head. "Stop, please" I whisper, I grab my hair and groan loudly. "Leave me the fuck alone!" I scream.

I breathe in a shaky breath, feeling my tears well up in my eyes. Putting my head in my hands, shaking my head "Leave me alone" I mumble, "Please"

I sat there, hoping and praying they would just go away before I gave up, I get out of bed and throw on a random shirt and jeans. I shouldn't do this, but I had to. It was the only thing that helped. I grab my phone and walk out of my room in a rush, going to the door and grabbing my keys off the hook, and putting on my shoes. I didn't care how I looked right now.

I exit my apartment and walk down the empty hall. It was late, maybe 3 am? I get into the empty elevator as my hands shook, wiping my tears and walking out as soon as it opened. The front desk was accompanied by a male who was was messing with his phone instead of keeping watch. I walk past him and rush to the garage—going straight for my car and getting in.

Changbin will kill me. He will be disappointed.

Right now, I didn't care. I started my car and drove to the place I felt like I hadn't seen in a long time. The drive consisted of my shaky hands gripping the wheel tightly where my knuckles turned white and my breathing feeling up the car as I tried to focus on the road and not my thoughts that were screaming at me.

I pull up to the back of the club, turning off my car and trying to fix my heavy breathing. I put my head in the steering wheel and close my eyes."I'm sorry" With that I get out of my car. Opening the door and hearing the loud music in the distance. I continued to walk down the long hallways and push through the doors to be met with people having fun—all while I was having a breakdown.

I shook my head and go to the bar where Chan was. He didn't notice my arrival until I got behind the bar and started pouring myself a drink. "Hey, man-Jisung?" He puts his hand on my shoulder and turns me around as I chug the random drink I poured, grimacing at the taste.

"Slow down, did something happen?" He looked at me worriedly, yelling to be heard over the loud music. I shook my head, pouring another drink "Sit down, I'll serve" He slightly pushed me from behind the bar.

I walk around the bar and sit down. He serves a few other people before going back to me, leaning onto the counter to be heard. "Tell me what went wrong for you to end up here looking a mess"

"Me, I'm what's wrong" He furrows his brows "I fuck everything up, don't I?"

He shakes his head "Wha-"

"I mean I got us into some deep shit because I acted out of anger because my ex was back and he had a boyfriend who I just figure out isn't even his boyfriend" I rambled before taking another drink, feeling the warm whiskey go down my thought. "And I can't even sleep at night because I have nightmares about all the-" I stop, shaking my head "Doesn't matter" I sip my drink again.

"Maybe drinking ain't a good idea" He tries to take my glass but I pull it away.

I look at him and say "It's a perfect idea" downing the rest of it. He looks at me with worried eyes, walking away and serving other people.

I didn't know how long I was there, I just know I drank... a lot. My arms were crossed on the bar and my head was in them, Chan had stopped serving me but I didn't care because I was already drunk.