My Little Sisters Wedding

Chapter 34 - The Talk

I sat quietly in the car as Ethan drove us to Caz and Daniels house. The plan had changed and Ethan had told everyone to stay at Caz and Daniels house and that he would bring me there if I as up for it. The silence grew thick and the tension grew as we neared the quiet cul-de-sac that they lived down. I looked over at Ethan as he sighed heavily and pulled the car over to the side.

"Are you sure you want to do this now? Everyone will understand if you don't want to go." He stared at me with a tight frown, wrinkling his forehead as he had to get the point across that I don't have to talk to Mum and Craig right now.

"I hate the fact that I have this big weight on my chest, every time I think about them. I hate the fact that I love both of them even though I hate them." I said as I slumped into my seat even more. I really did still love them. Even though Craig made it hard for me for 26 years to love him, in a weird way, I did. My mother will always be just that, no matter how much I hate her right now, deep, deep, deep down in the small valley of my heart I still love the old hag.

"And that's okay. They did lie to you for 26 years, I'm sure they can wait a few days."

"No. I'm ready." I stated as I sat up straighter in my seat. I pushed my chin out defiantly and looked straight ahead.

"Well all right then, are you sure you don't want to call Jack to come and be your support system?" He looked at me seriously. A slight smile appeared on my face and I tried to hide it. "Are you smiling? Ooh." Ethan mocked.

"Shut up! I can do this on my own." I paused for a moment before looking back out the window. "Ethan, I really like the kid. Like a lot."

"Really? I think he's bit out of your league, but whatever." Ethan joked as he started the car.

We pulled into the drive way and I opened my door first. I have to do this. I cannot back out now. I walked up the front steps and stopped at the front door contemplating what was waiting for me behind this door. My hand shook as I turned the door handle and pushed the door open, the smell of Nana's baking hit my nostrils instantly and a large smile appeared on my face. I walked up the hallway and turned into the kitchen. 

"Oh darling, you're here already." She said in a shaky voice. She stood by the bench where she had flour sprinkled across the board and chocolate chip cookie dough rolled out. She looked at me and then looked towards the sitting room. The usual Nana I know, would've enveloped me in a tight hug and squeeze me until I turned purple, but I could see it in her eyes that she was hesitant.

"Morning Nana." I said simply with a small smile. I walked over to her purposefully before I grabbed her into a big bear hug. She sighed and hugged me back just as tightly. I pulled back and saw tears running down her face but I wiped them with the tips of my fingers.

"I'm so sorry, Cameron. I should have told you, we all should have." She sobbed out. It hurt me to see my usually calm and emotionless Nana crying, it pulled at my heart strings.

"Shh Nana, don't cry. I forgive you. I love you so much." I pulled her back for another hug before I stepped away. I blinked away the tears that had surfaced and made a point of looking to the direction of the living room. "You better check on your cookies, I have to go and find Mum." She smiled at me and I walked to the living room.

I heard hushed voices as I neared and I found myself plastered to one spot. I could do this, I had to do this. I took a few deep breaths before entering the lounge. Silence filled the room as everyone's heads turned to me. Mum and Dad looked at me in shock. Caz, Daniel, Ethan, Sarah, Georgia and Samuel looked at me with wide eyes. Aunty Debbie and Uncle Tom stared at me like I had grown a third head and Grandma Ivy looked down not making eye contact with me.

"Cameron, you're here." Craig said in shock. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Ethan and Edward said you wanted to talk."

"Yes, but I didn't mean right away. We want to talk when your ready." He said in a soft voice.

"Well, I'm here. So lets talk." I said as I looked around the room. My eyes connected with Caz and I smiled. She flashed a tight small smile. "Where do you want to talk?"

Mum and Craig stood up and walked over to the sliding door that lead outside. I followed them as they walked into the large garden and sat on the picnic table waiting for me to join them. I sat down and waited for them to break the silence.

"Cameron, I am so sorry you found out the way you did. I was hoping it would be the right time. I never set out to hurt you or keep the truth from you for so long but it seemed as though it was easier you just believing that Craig was your father. I love you so much and the last thing I would want is for you going through life hating me. You're a good girl and all I can hope is that you find it in your heart to forgive me." My Mum grabbed onto my hand and held it tight as tears ran down her face.

"I would like to add that I love you too. It took you saying all those things about me being mean and cruel to you, to realise how badly I treated you." He paused and looked at my mother before looking back at me. "I say it with absolute sincerity that I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. The way I treated you was because I loved you as my own and when I would lash out at you it was because it hurt me to know I wasn't your real father. I know that's a bullshit excuse, but its the truth. I loved the way you would define everything I said. The way you stuck out your chin after you came with tears running down your face and told us Bobby-Lee had left you, 'cause you thought I would tell you I told you so. You made me proud of you and I thought to myself, 'I shouldn't be proud, I'm not her father.' Look, even though I don't deserve it, I want to be apart of your life. I still want you to call me Dad, and then roll your eyes when I tell you to put something more decent on. I still want to call you at 6 am to make sure you got home safely after your night shift. Even though I have hurt you and I may do so in the future because I'm not perfect, I hope that you will always see what you mean to me. I'm sorry for being a shitty parent but I promise I will be better, if you let me."

Tears rolled down my face as I watched my fathers roll down and fall onto the table. He held onto my other hand squeezed it tightly. I took a deep shaky breath and exhaled.

"I'm not going to lie and say I'm over it, but I forgive you guys. I don't know when or how th-things are going to get back to normal, but I know I'm willing to try." I said as I wiped my tears away. "But, I do have one condition. I want to meet my father. My biological father." Mum and Dad exchanged looks before they looked back at me and nodded. "Well then, lets get inside and farewell Caz and Daniel for their honeymoon." I stood up and waited for them.

"Cameron?" Mum whispered.

I turned around and looked at Mum and Dad who stood together awkwardly. "Yeah?"

"Can we have a hug?" I looked at Mum and then to Dad, they both looked hopeful. I nodded my head and ran forward into her arms. She squeezed me tightly and I melted into her hug. She let go of me and I looked at Dad awkwardly. He stepped forward and picked me up in a big bear hug. We hugged for a long time and it was the first time I had ever felt this much love from Dad. I guess in the end he did love me, he just had a different way of showing it.