My Little Sisters Wedding

Chapter 26 - Speeches

"Hey, where did you go? Matter of fact where did you all go?" Caz asked as she leaned into me while looking at Sarah and Emily. I turned my head and looked at them hoping they knew what to say.

"Just went to see if everything was going smoothly. Sarah had to take a piss." Emily said bluntly as she smiled a tight smile. Thankfully Caz took this lame excuse and she went back to eating. I had been sitting here picking at my food for the past five minutes, I didn't want to look at anybody, I wanted to sit here and pray to god that I would hopefully survive the night. Finally it was time for the bestman speech. This should be good. I hadn't really looked at Jack tonight, mostly still too embarrassed by what Nana said. I wouldn't be this embarrassed if it wasn't true, but as much as I hate to say it, I wanted to sleep with Jack. There, I'm just putting it out there; I want to sleep with Dr. Jack Thompson. I want to know what his bare skin would feel like under the gentle touch of my finger tips. I want to see him standing in all his naked glory...that was too far, but you get the point. 

He swaggered his way over to the mic and the stand and I couldn't help but stare at his behind as he did so. It was round and perky but shapely at the same time. He turned and smiled at the guests, then turned and smiled to the main table before reaching in his jacket pocket and pulling out what I assumed to be his speech. He was so fricken cute! I scanned the crowed and notice a few of Caz's University friends staring at him in...lust? Oh, please like he would want to talk to twig bitches like you, I thought to myself. Wow, where did that come from? He calls me beautiful a couple of times and all of a sudden I become territorial of him? I need a drink. I signalled to a passing waiter and he came over quickly. I turned in my seat as he crouched down so I could whisper in his ear. 

"Can you get me a large glass of vodka, mixed with lemonade and can you throw in a lemon wedge, thanks." 

"Yes, of course." He replied politely. I turned back around in my seat and my eyes locked in with my mothers. She looked at me with sorrowful eyes. Oh please, you bitch! If you really loved me you would be over here apologising for your husbands behaviour. I rolled my eyes and looked back to where Jack was standing.

He begun. "I did read somewhere that a Best Man’s speech should not take any longer than it takes the Groom to make love." He paused as he looked down at his watch for a few seconds before he started again. "So, on that note ladies and gentlemen, and not wanting to disappoint, can I ask you all to raise your glasses as we toast the new Mr and Mrs Cooper!" Everybody errupted into laughter and sat with my hand over my mouth trying to conceal my laughter. Grandma Ivy's face went as red as a tomato and I couldn't help but laugh even more.

"Bride and Bridegroom, Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat...If I go too long, Cameron has threatened to cut it." He turned and winked in my direction. "She also said something about handcuffs and how she would love to use them on me, I don't know what she mean't but I guess I'll find out later on tonight." Instantly my cheels flamed and everyone burst into laughter. My father and Grandma Ivy looked unimpressed, while Mum smerked at me then back at Jack. Edward was hunched over as he was obviously struggling to contain his laughter. I looked at Jack who wore the biggest and proudest grin in the world.

He carried on obviously noticing my distress. "Thank you all for coming here today for this very special occasion. I would like to take this opportunity to say what a fantastic day it's been, a lovely ceremony and Caz, you look absolutely stunning. Congratulations to the both of you. Of course, there is no doubt that marriage is a wonderful thing. It is supposed to be pure and simple, and that’s what we have today. Caz is pure, and Daniel is...well a nice guy. It was of course a great honour to be chosen as best man. But from the moment Daniel asked me, yesturday, it was clear that the best man speech would be the most challenging part of the day. If only because of having to select, only some, from the wealth of embarrassing stories of which I could choose. My name is Jack and I have known Daniel since University. I remember the first time I saw him, he was wearing these tight jeans and he had this awful haircut. I guess you could say I felt sorry for him, but little did I know this guy was a bit of a ladies man. Till this day I don't know what girls saw in him. My favourite memory with Daniel is when we went for our summer break over in Bali. We were excited and we just wanted to party and to get wasted. When we arrived it was hot and we were staying at a nice hotel. Daniel walked past a sign that said 'Massages. 50% off for Hotel guests. He convinced me it was a good idea so I went. Long story short it turned out to be the high class brothel and it involved nipple clamps, two prostitutes and the police. I have never seen Daniel go so pale in my life. But like always Daniel was able to talk us out of the predicament we had landed ourselves in and we changed hotels and enjoyed the rest of our time in Bali. Daniel you are uch a great friend to me and I love you like your my little brother. Caz you light up Dan's life in such a special way and I can't wait untill the day I find someone as special as you. Finally, I'd like to offer some advice to the newly married couple. Please note that there are three rings involved in marriage: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and long suffering. Always *remember* these magic words: "*You're* right, dear". Seriously, I am very proud to be best man here today. You are both generous, intelligent, and passionate people, and I know that your life together will be an inspiration to the rest of us. You are very well matched, and lucky to have found each other. Here’s to the two things that, without doubt make a great marriage. Here’s to a good sense of humour, and selective hearing. Well, I'd like to thank you all for bearing with me. Would you please stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Caz and Dan. To the Bride and Groom!"