Loca, Spider Monkey

137. Food shopping with Vladimir

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The time of the week had come. The very same time that made him want to kick himself, you and Stefan. It was food shopping time. Apparently humans had to be fed frequently. He followed you about, keeping quiet. You decided to cheer him up.
"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere." You winked. Vladimir rolled his eyes.

Vladimir learned very quickly that you could find some sort of pun with just about any thing you passed and whatever your intention was, you deemed it important enough to continue this behaviour for the next forty-five minutes.
"What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta."
"Enough, (Y/N). Enough."
You gave him a brief break...of ten minutes.

"This is a food store, why are you able to buy shovels here?" Vladimir eyed a middle aged man with a basket of groceries in one hand and in the other, a shovel with the tag swinging as he abruptly turned out of the gardening aisle.
"The shovel was a ground-breaking invention." You giggled behind your hand. Vladimir suddenly stopped, and leaned down, keeping his voice low.
"Dear, i am wearing contacts, this place stinks, im being teased by at least thirty A negative humans in here and it's loud in here. I'm going to say this in the phrase you seem to have a habit of saying, can you not?"

"What is-What is Sushi?" Vladimir scrunched up his face. "It's raw fish and rice, sometimes wrapped with seaweed."
"That is vile." Vladimir immediately put the package back.
"Yeah, I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It's a little fishy." You smirked.
"I am seconds away from just leaving you here." Vladimir responded flatly. "It's been nearly an hour and you are not funny.
"No, you're not. You love me too much."
"I really don't."

Finally, it seemed the trip was over and Stefan had arrived in the car to pick you both up. Vladimir was glad to be that ever bit closer to being home. As you both saw the car being parked you leaned into Vladimir.
"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there."
"Okay, i like that one." Vladimir gave you a small smile.

Once in the car, Vladimir turned to Stefan who was in the drivers seat and gestured to you in the back.
"Next time, you're taking them."
"Why? What did they do?" Stefan asked, his eyes flickering to you. You leaned forward, deciding to help them both out.
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field." Vladimir let out a cry in frustration into his hands as you sat in the backseat, grinning innocently at Stefan who tried to hide his smile.