Harmless || Stray Kids ✔️

43

Chan

As I sit at the dinner table, everyone trudges in. It's been a long day. With Jeongin pouring his fears out to us at lunch and taking care of Minho... everyone is at their lowest right now. I can't help but feel responsible. Of course it's not my fault, but I should be able to lift their spirits.

We all eat in silence. No one had the energy to cook, so I ordered dinner. Jisung got some soup instead, though. Felix made that. His throat is more fucked up than last time.

What I don't expect is food to be thrown at me. I look up expecting a sheepish smile from one of the boys trying to start a food fight. Take out the food part because Jeongin looks ready to hit me.

"This is all your fault."

"Jeongin, what the fuck?" Felix frowns, touching the youngest's shoulder. At the touch, my Aussie brother looks at me with venom.

"You are the shittiest person I've ever met. How dare you call yourself out leader. You can't even take care of yourself."

And it all falls into place. They all begin to gang up on me. Seungmin pushes me out of my seat, chopsticks in his hand. I'm a bunny compared to these wolves.

"Get the fuck up and get out! We don't want you here!" Hyunjin screams, making a move to kick me, but I dodge it.

They're blocking the door. I can't get out. I glance behind me, seeing the bathroom door open. Before I can stand, Felix punches me in the face, knocking me flat to the ground.

"Look at you. Pathetic. Can't even take a punch."

But I swear I can see regret in his eyes. I don't see it for long because tears are blurring my vision. I didn't think this would get physical. I never thought a member would hit me.

"What a fucking joke. Your music is shit. Your producing is shit. Your voice is like nails on a chalkboard. All you're doing is dragging us down," Minho growls, forcing me back into a corner.

Jisung steps up, crouching down with a smile before it becomes a scowl. "You should've never come here. You're an amateur. You don't know what you're doing. Poor little Channie."

He puts his finger underneath my chin, forcing my head up. "You're such a waste of space."

I push him back, making him fall into the others. The chase is back on, but I lock myself in the bathroom before they have the chance to raise their fists. I sob loudly, grabbing a towel to bury my face in.

They bang on the door, screaming at me. They degrade me with any insult they can think of. Each one tears another piece of my heart off. I put my hands over my ears, trying to make my body as small as it could go.

I don't know when it stopped. I pressed my hands to my ears so hard that all I could hear was ringing. After my dazed reaction and weakness spilling in my limbs, I let go.

It's silent now. I don't know if it's safe. I don't trust it. It lasted forever the first time. I can't handle going out there and it not being over.

What am I supposed to wait for? Someone to knock and ask to use the toilet? And when they open the door, all they find is me still bawling my eyes out with a bloody nose. How pathetic. Felix was right.

"Channie! Channie, open up, please. It's me, Felix. Please, open the door," the younger bangs on the door, similar to how they did before. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, hyung. That wasn't us. That wasn't us and you know it. Please, let me in."

I know it wasn't them. That was all me. Things I tried to keep hidden away. They were all brought out, worse the second time. I know they don't hate me. I just hate myself. They proved that to me.

Why am I even here?

Without warning, the door bursts open. The lock breaks the wooden frame, but the others don't seem to care. Felix is by my side in an instant. I can't help but cry. I hate crying, but it's all I can do right now.

"It's okay, it's okay. I've got you. We've got you. Bin, get the bruise cream, melatonin, and water. It's okay, Channie. You're okay."

And he repeats that even as he rubs bruise cream on my face from where he hit me. He puts the pill in my mouth and helps me drink the water. They help me up and lead me to my room. No one is left behind. They all pile on my bed and floor and chair. They're all here.

"You'll never get left behind."