His Path Of Redemption

Chapter 44

Of course she was everyone's favorite.

"I turned 15 and I was still not allowed to travel alone, dad always dropped me, even though I had friends who live in the same place as mine or in my neighbourhood. I use to get so annoyed that I almost didn't feel like going out. I turned 16 and took a decision for myself. I declared in the house that I will be travelling alone now, my dad still didn't agree but I did it regardless. The minute I stepped out alone a feeling of freedom struck me, a feeling of relaxation of not being suffocated, it felt nice. I thought that finally I was out on my own but guess not. When me and my friend were returning back she spotted my dad's car and when she told me I was furious and embarrassed. I went home so annoyed that I didn't speak to anyone." She said.

I rubbed her back slowly and signalled her to continue.

"Every guy I ever tried to speak with was made to go miles away from me. I had 0 privacy in my life. My life was a open book and my dad was the author. From the clothes I wear to what time I sleep to where I go to what I eat to what's my routine, everything was under his jurisdiction. I never knew what to do in vacations because when my friends went out everyday to do some or the other activity I was sent occasionally because apparently going out everyday wasn't very convincing to him. One day I got so frustrated with everything that I asked him, 'why?' all he had to say was, these are our families values, this is how this family has been functioning for years. 16 year old me was so small according to him that I couldn't even decide what clothes to wear, because I had a terrible fashion sense, which is and was a complete lie. Dad tried to portray me as a perfect girl. I wasn't allowed to show my flaws. I wasn't allowed to choose basic things at the age of 16. I got use to the fact that I couldn't have flaws, that I couldn't show my flaws. I didn't even have time to think about insecurities. I was asked to work hard and make myself perfect while the rest of the 16 year olds were living their lives as their age." She said tears made their way out.

"He has always had good intentions for me, he loves me dearly. He want's me to be the best and he has always wanted the best for me. I'm privileged, and I'm greatful for that but the fact that I have always gotten the best, but I can't help but feel suffocated. Feel suffocated that back then I didn't get to do the things my way. I couldn't chose and the fact that I still can't chose. I love modelling Blaze, it was inbuilt in me, but his involvement makes me question that do I even love it anymore? I can deal with all the work pressure, work stress never gets to me if I do it my way, but he is just so involved into it that my already stressed mine gets over stressed." She said while I just nodded.

There was silence for a few seconds, we just sat like that as she wiped her tears and I puffed smoke out.

"I'm honestly shit at comforting livvie, I'll work on it tho-" She cut me off.

"I don't wanna be comforted Blaze. Every person I've spoke to either comforts me or gives me advice I never asked for. I just want someone to listen and let me cry and in a very long time you're the only person who hasn't let me feel suffocated, I feel like I can breathe around you." She said.

I just looked at her and gave a soft smile.

"Atleast you have someone who cares for you Olivia, I know how it feels to not be cared or loved. He loves you, he doesn't want you to get hurt, you're his only child he's just looking out for you." I tried explaining.

"I know and I understand but sometimes I just want him to forget I exist, I want to do things my way, I want him to forget for one day that he has a daughter and let me live my life like a normal person without any involvement." She said.

"You know I felt so happy and content when I stepped into New York alone. As much as I love lLondon, New York will always be my heart because this city actually thought me what life is, the life dad kept protecting me from the cruel world he didn't want me to see, this city actually thought me how to survive on my own. I will give all the credits to my parents about teaching me values of how to be kind, loving and caring and all but learning from my mistakes, facing my problems, surviving and fighting back, I taught myself all that and only I get the credit for that. New York gave me space to breathe, it unleashed the part of me who wanted to show imperfections, who wanted to live imperfectly without giving a fuck of what the world thinks. New York made me feel happy, yes it was scary in the beginning but it felt nice to be scared and worry about myself and not being dependent on the fact that I have someone to look after me. The city gave me everything I ever asked for and that is why, everytime I go back home, it is impossible for me to stay there for more than 2 days because I start feeling suffocated and want be free." She let it all out.

"I'm glad you found home." I said.

She looked me right in the eye and entangled our hands.

"Now I did." She said.

We just sat like that, embracing the calmness of the jungle. I knew that both of us had gone through a lot to be where we are today, I might be much more flawed than her but she is flawed too and that is what makes us who we are, she is my home, my solace and my peace.

Alright so, both of their realities are out now💀

Next few chaps are gonna be pretty tiring physically and mentally.

Also, this book is about to end😭

Love,
Author.