Midnight Avenue //unedited//

Chapter 64

A/N: Please read the my note at the end, it's important. Thank you :)

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Harry's POV

I guess we are something special. We can never work our relationship out but whenever we are over, we get along. But we love each other. It's all so complicated and all but that's what I love about our little thing. We can't let each other go while we want to be apart at times.

The song she is currently working on is absolutely amazing, her melodic goes well along with the song. I truly feel doleful about what happened to her Grandpa. I guess today is just a depressing day.

Ariana's small snoring and her asleep in my arms make things cheerier for me. I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. But all I can feel is how I felt when Jenna supposedly disappeared, the feeling of lost, despair, loneliness and disconsolation. I have never lost someone who was close to me ever before so I can't honestly relate to her and tell her something in experience.

We both were laying on the floor sleeping, well she is now. I have the urge to get up and get her some blankets but I know if I budge she'll be awake.

I owe Ariana everything and I mean everything. She's the one who never gave up on me when I was going through such a horrific time while everyone else abandoned me. She's the one who I hurt so much both physically and emotionally but she still stayed. She's the one who still loved me no matter what kind of shit I put her through.

Honestly, I have never been in love and yes I do say 'I love you' to my past girlfriends but now thinking about it, I never really actually loved them. It was just a feeling that went away and love is not a feeling. Love is a thing, with a true meaning. I kept using the word love like any other word but when I say it to Ariana, I really mean it. I'm in love with her.

How am I going to tell her that? I know I've told her that I love her, but in love? In love is the point where my love for her is real and it exists, not just a meaningless 'I love you'.

I was so blind with the fact that she annoyed me when she tried to help and ease me away from the pain. All the time I've hurt her, yelled at her, made her cry and suffer was all for nothing. Jenna never was actually kidnapped and she's the one who made me so blind. The girl that cares so much for me, the girl- no woman, that had hope in me, the woman who loves me was right in front of me the whole time. I really need to make it up to her even though I've told her that so many times before.

"Harry? Why are you crying?" Ariana speaks and realized that I'm crying. What the fuck. I barely cry.

"Um." I quickly wipe the tears on my cheeks away hoping she would let it go. But of course not.

"It's just, all the things rushed back to me, from where we started and where we are now. Everything I did to hurt you in anyway, I regret it so much especially since your whole life turned around when you're around me. I just feel so bad-" I stop myself since she isn't stopping me from talking.

"Harry, it's all fine. That's the past alright? I forgave you and I still forgive you, I totally understand now how you felt before, when you lost Jenna." She quickly sits up, our arms touching against each other.

"Yeah but the thing is she never really was kidnapped. All the emotions I've felt all the things I've said and done to you, was all for nothing because she was fine. She was fucking fine!" I yell and I clenched my hands together making a fist to restrain my anger.

"I think you're still stuck onto the fact that Jenna lied to you that she was kidnapped. You haven't fully talked about it as much as you wanted to so you never got that anger out of you. Until now, so tell me everything of how you feel." She points out, holding my hands tightly to calm me down.

"I just feel so angered, all the rage is building up now and I want that to just go away. I tried to get Jenna out of my life, but I can't. Trust me, I tried. But with her problem now and everything I have no other choice than be there for her. The way she lied to me, she broke me. She lent me to believe that she was held captive by someone and that I would never see her again. But that was all a fucking lie. How can she just do that to me? She blames her friend but herself too. I blame her for everything cause because of her I pushed you away and everyone away. I literally threw my whole fucking life away because of her all because she faked being kidnapped. I grew to hate everyone, including you the most. But it wasn't hate I was feeling, it was aggravation. Please know that I never hated you, I was just so full of indignation because it was so unfair that Jenna had to be in that situation. But she never was." I stop myself from ranting on and on, but Ariana stayed silent for awhile, we both did.

"Like they said, the time you feel most lonely is the time you need to be by yourself. How ironic?" I let out a laugh. "I was fucking lonely as hell but I decide to be by myself." I scoff.

"I guess that's how it works huh." She scoffs along. "Is your anger all gone now?"

"I hope because I can finally spend time on you and show you all my love and affection, just for you." I tap her nose and she scrunches her face which was cute.

"I don't even know what we are." She sighs and covers her face. I quickly wrapped my arms around her.

"You are the love of my life, you are the Lucy to my Ricky, you are the apple to my pie, the Minnie to my Mickey, you are the Daisy to my Tom, you are the Catherine to my Heathcliff and you are the Juliet to my Romeo." She looks up at me with full on tears in her eyes but they don't drop.

So I continue, "You are the Angelina to my Brad. Fuck, I sound so sappy but now I can honestly say that.. I'm fucking in love with you Ms. Grande." I smile wide just for her.

I can't describe the smile on her face in words, but all I can say is that she is euphoric.

"I love you so much." She quickly get on her knees and hugs me since we were both still on the floor.

"I love you. I've never loved anyone before. You are my first." I say before kissing her.

"Shut up, I'm not the first love of your life." She says in disbelief but it's really true.

"I've only dated girls I'm interested in, not in love with. But you m'lady is my one true love, speaking in 100% honesty."

"Really? Wow, that means so much you have no idea." She says speechless.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me." I play with her words.

"You have to stop with this unless you want to give me a fucking heart attack." She laughs and I chuckle along.

"You're so freaking adorable. I love you." I pull her closer to me.

*

A/N: Sorry for the short filler chapter but at least in this chapter Harry finally said that he's in love with her.

This refers to me too cause I know I'm young and everything, I don't know much about love. But I know, love is something that you can't feel, it is definitely not a feeling. It is a passionate, genuine commitment and it stays. Love is something you cannot feel, if you love someone, it's a commitment that you love them. You can disagree with this but love is something we nurture and develop overtime in our lives, whether for our family or a guy/girl.

Anyway, enough of that.. I want to tell you that I genuinely love all of you guys and I mean it. You may think you guys are just a reader to me, but you guys are so meaningful to me. It makes me so happy to know you guys are here for me and reading the book.

I'm your friend, not just a writer, but a friend to you. If you need help with anything, please feel free to ask me questions. I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.

I love you.