Widow Sisters and Friends (Restoring Our Broken Hearts)

Detka, It's Cold Outside: Part 2

Despite Natasha's attempts at hiding it, it was no secret that Yelena had terrified Natasha on their mission. She had been able to see it in her eyes when Natasha had been stripping to allow the both of them skin-to-skin contact last week when she had been trying to warm her up. Natasha's glances toward her did not go unnoticed, and she felt deeply for her older sister.

However, Natasha was stubbornly avoiding bringing it up, and she would not let Yelena step foot outside even for a moment without being bundled up more than necessary. She still caught those guilty looks from Natasha even now when the redhead thought she was not looking or paying attention.

It broke Yelena's heart to think that Natasha blamed herself for the mission. Of course, it seemed to just be who Natasha was. Natasha always blamed herself for every little thing if it happened to Yelena even if there was no logical reason for it.

Once Yelena finished putting on her sweatpants, Natasha came back into the room, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. She handed it over to Yelena, and the blonde took it from her carefully, muttering a "thank you" in reply.

Natasha then grabbed the coat she had gotten out and she came closer to Yelena, aiming on helping her into it. Yelena quickly sat down her mug, Natasha moving nearer.

As soon as the redhead was in range, Yelena outstretched her arms quickly and embraced Natasha's middle, drawing her against her as she tried to convey everything that she felt without uttering a word. Natasha paused for just a moment before wrapping her arms around the blonde, her nose nuzzled into the top of Yelena's head in her hair.

"Natashka, I'm okay," Yelena assured her quietly, deciding that she had enough of Natasha's endless guilt about this. Natasha froze a bit in her arms, and Yelena tightened her grasp, burying her nose in Natasha's shirt as she held onto her.

"It wasn't your fault," Yelena whispered, finally addressing the metaphorical elephant in the room. Natasha's arms around Yelena's neck and shoulders tightened incrementally as she pushed her nose a bit harder into Yelena's hair.

"I shouldn't have agreed for us to split up," Natasha confessed painedly, and Yelena rubbed her hands up and down Natasha's back in soothing motions. So often, Natasha was the one comforting her, but she treasured the moments when she could be the one to bring some of that comfort back to her older sister.

Natasha could not be that tough, infallible big sister all the time, and Yelena was more than happy to give her the support she so desperately needed sometimes.

"That wasn't your fault. You didn't know it would happen."

"I shouldn't have agreed to let you take position on the bridge," Natasha heartbrokenly admitted, and Yelena shook her head against her big sister's stomach. Yelena stroked her back firmly in an attempt to ground the redhead just a little, and Yelena pushed her head harder against Natasha.

"It's okay. I'm a big girl, Natashka... Things happen on missions," Yelena reassured gently, trying to calm her older sister down since she was starting to feel telltale moisture on top of her head. Of course, she would not have even had to feel the wetness to know Natasha was crying. She just knew her sister that well.

"But you're," Natasha trailed off, letting out a shaky sigh as she tightened her grasp on Yelena. Yelena just patiently awaited Natasha's words, rubbing her back encouragingly to coax the words out of her. She knew how hard it was for Natasha to admit her feelings about things when she was shrouded in guilt and self-loathing. Yelena knew she simply had to be patient and wait her out since Natasha would eventually tell her.

"Ty moya mladshaya sestra,"1 Natasha murmured finally, her voice breaking just a little as she expressed the tender words. Yelena felt tears starting to come to her own eyes at the admission. It was a rare day that Natasha chose to transition to Russian when words became hard, but when she did, it was always because whatever she was saying was something that was deeply and truly within the depths of her heart.

"I know... I know I am. I'm yours," Yelena whispered, the feelings so right in her heart as she uttered the words. Natasha let out a small, breathy sob as she tried to contain herself, and Yelena just nuzzled Natasha's stomach in reassurance.

"I'm not going anywhere. You aren't getting rid of me that easy," Yelena assured her, trying to bring a little levity to the situation, and Natasha's grasp tightened on her as Yelena uttered that last sentence.

"I never want rid of you," Natasha assured her, and Yelena felt her heart filling with the admission.

"Yelena, sometimes, I just want to lock you in this house and never let you out just so I can be sure you're okay. I know it sounds insane, but I just want to keep you safe from everything," Natasha admitted, and Yelena nodded, understanding what the older woman meant. After all, Yelena oftentimes felt the same thing. She wished she could just stay in place with Natasha and protect her.

"It's not insane. I feel like that, too," Yelena whispered to her, and Natasha squished her nose more firmly against Yelena.

"I always have. Even though I've failed so much," Natasha choked out, and Yelena held her tightly in her arms. Yelena understood the deep admission within the statement. Natasha still had so much leftover guilt within her, and no matter how much Yelena reassured her, she always seemed to keep blaming herself for everything.

Yelena pressed a gentle kiss to Natasha's stomach before pulling away just barely to tilt her head up and look up at her big sister.

Natasha's eyes were red from the tears, and they glistened in the afternoon sun pouring through the window. Yelena reached up to touch her face, gently wiping at her tears with her fingers as she took her older sister's face in her hands.

"I love you, starshaya sestra. Please don't blame yourself anymore. I don't," Yelena assured her, and Natasha's eyes suddenly flooded with tears once again and she released a sob. Yelena stood up from where she was sitting down, pushing upward as she wrapped Natasha in her embrace, her nose pressing against her neck as she held her impossibly close.

They were both broken, but they were going to heal each other together. Little by little.