Attack On Titan x Reader

Eren Yeager - Feelings Can't Be Ignored

Summary: "Y/N, are you sure you would like to transfer onto the Garrison?" Erwin's voice echoes through the half-empty room. You try hard to fight back the tears forming in your eyes - the truth is you don't want to leave the Survey Corps but nothing you do seem to be right: your combat skills seem to be getting worse and you are almost getting killed way too often during expeditions.

Before you have time to form a sentence in your head and reply, he speaks again.

"I'll give you 48 hours. If by then you still want to transfer, I will personally hand your paperwork over to Commander Pixis." All you can do is nod.

.

You run out of the Commander's office as fast as you can, not carrying if anyone sees you crying. Your legs can't support your body anymore but you don't stop until you can't see the buildings behind you. The pain in all of your limbs forces you to finally come to a stop.

The grass against your feet seems to invite the rest of your body down and soon you are sitting by the calm waters of the city's river. Tears flow down your face like the stream that helps the fish swim. You bury your face in your hands and allow several hiccups to come out at the same time.

"I can't do this anymore." You let a painful scream burst out of you. Your throat burns from the effort but that doesn't stop you from yelling once again. "Why is this happening to me?"

You hear footsteps coming closer to you but choose to ignore them. As you gasp for air you feel someone's presence behind you.

"Leave." You say, not bothering to check who is the figure standing so close to you until a hand is placed on your shoulder.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" A gasp escapes your lips and somehow you find yourself with more tears running down your face than before.

"I thought you left for the training weekend in the mountains, what are you doing here, Eren?" You say as he removes his hand from you and makes a small gesture, silently asking you if it's ok for him to sit by your side. All you do is quietly nod and turn your face in the other direction, not wanting him to see you in such a state.

"I was about to, but Armin saw you leaving the Commander's office in tears and there was no way I would leave you alone." He puts his left hand around your shoulder and pulls your body closer to his. You rest your head on the crook of his neck as Eren strokes your hair gently.

You cling onto his shirt for dear life as sobs erupt from you. You didn't want your boyfriend seeing you like this.

"I'm sorry." You whisper against his skin, but before you have time to start your follow-up sentence, he squeezes you tight.

"Why don't we sit against that tree, and you can tell me what's going on."

.

Eren adjusts himself before giving you his hand, trying to help you sit down comfortably. The grass against your skin leaves gentle, red marks but you try not to think about it. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, you don't know if it's because you can't seem to tell him what's wrong or if you just like enjoying each other's presence. You end up being the one to break the silence.

"I was planning on leaving the Survey Corps." He gently shifts his head, making sure he can see your eyes. His sadness is evident in his look, but he tries his best to hide it so he won't upset you.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" He asks, the tone of his voice covered with worry.

You take a deep breath, trying to fight back tears that once again rebel against your wishes and roll down your cheeks. "I was almost killed three times in the last expedition and, if not for Mikasa, I definitely wouldn't be here."

"Then I'll help you train, no, WE will help you train." He says enthusiastically. You know he's trying his best to cheer you up, to make you feel like you belong here, but it isn't working.

Not knowing what to say, you simply fall quiet for a few moments until you feel something warm drip on your face. Quickly lifting your head, you have the impression that he's crying but once you touch your cheek, you realize it's blood.

"Are you alright??" You ask, taking a small piece of cloth from your pocket and pressing it against Eren's nose. He looks a little paler than before and you can feel your heart beating slightly faster.

"Yeah, the hardening experiments have been taking most of my energy lately." He stops talking for a second and proceeds to widen his eyes as he looks at you. "Is that why you've been hiding all of this from me?"

The sadness in his voice shatters your heart almost instantly, especially since he's right. You didn't want to bother him with your problems because he already has so many of his own. How you're feeling doesn't matter, you just want him to be the best version of himself. For all your fallen comrades, for his friends and for you.

Even before he knew about his ability to shift into a titan, Eren has always been an exceptional soldier, but now he carries the weight of being humanity's ace card on his shoulders.

"You already have so much pressure on you!" you start talking, your voice shakes slightly, "I didn't want to.." but before you can finish your sentence, he pulls you in for a tight hug. His hands going through your hair to your back and finally resting on your hip bones. It takes you a few seconds, but finally, you wrap your arms around his neck. The smell of his skin soothes your sadness and helps you calm down.

"I don't want you to ever feel like you have to hide your feelings from me again." He whispers in your ear. His voice is as gentle as ever for he doesn't want you to feel like he's angry. "I didn't choose to be humanity's hope but I did choose you, Y/N." He takes a short break, putting his hands on your shoulders to push you away, enough for you to be able to stare into his bright green eyes. "I will always choose you."

A smile appears on your lips for the first time in days. There is no one else in this cramped world behind the walls that can make you feel the way Eren does.

"There is it. The smile I've missed so much." He lets out a smile of his own before hugging you once again. "Let's make a promise right here."

"What is it?" You inquire eagerly.

He extends his right pinky, waiting for you to do the same. "From now on, let's bother each other with our feelings and always be there for one another."

You let out a laugh as you shake your head. "You are an idiot, but there is nothing I want more than that."

The two of you lace your pinkies together as the dark-haired boy pulls you in for a kiss. His lips feel as soft as ever and his warm breath against your mouth gives you a boost of serotonin. You smile against his lips and gently pull away.

"I love you." He says before leaning his back against the tree once again, pulling your head to his shoulder as you lace your fingers together.

"I love you too." You say as Eren kisses the top of your head gently and closes his eyes. You feel the cold air against your skin and the chills going up and down your body remind you of how lucky you are to have been born into this world.

You check the small clock in your pocket and your eyes widen in fear. "E-Eren, we are late for training...."

It takes him a few seconds to fully realize what you mean. You can sense fear emanating from his body. "Captain Levi is going to kill us."

Both of you stand up as quickly as humanly possible. Eren grabs your hand and starts sprinting towards the city and all you can do is laugh. If it's from happiness to be with him or because you're nervously terrified of what the Captain will do to you - you'll never know.

No matter what the consequences are, you will face them all by his side, as it always should be.