My Prince of Darkness

Chapter 4: I Hate You

"You make it sound so easy." I muttered.  

"Oh how I wish it was as easy as it sounds!"  

Later that day Kylie dropped me of at my house. 

Alice asked me if I enjoyed myself and I tried to reply as nicely as I could. I wasn't exactly in the talking mood.  

I walked up the stairs slowly and entered my room.  

My room was dark and felt cold. Just like how I felt inside. The loneliness I hate so much began to creep up inside me.  

I realized I had given up on life completely by locking myself up in here all the time, crawled under the sheets. I had no life as sad as it sounds. Suddenly I felt embarrassed. Ashamed. 

What is wrong with me? How could I just throw away my life, for him? I have given up so much! All because I'm too afraid of the same things repeating itself. It's time to move on. Too bad it's not that easy. Will I ever be able to move on? I cringed at the thought.

I couldn't be in here a second longer. I'm starting to really, truly hate myself. I need to let go of the past, move on, quit feeling sorry for myself. In that split second I made a decision to stay out of the house today. I had no clue where I was going, but I wasn't about to lock myself in this room any longer.  

I ran down the stairs.  

"Alice, do you mind if I go out again?" I asked her. She had her apron on, her hair pulled back into a pony tail. She was standing up and was painting on the easel. She painted a girl with a beautiful rose in her hair. The girl looked so beautiful herself. Long dark hair, bright blue eyes and red lips. The color of blood. I envied the girl so much. She looked peaceful. Only then, when I looked closer I realized it was me, I was starring at. 

 "You like? " she asked with a grin.  

"I love it." I smiled. I was shocked as to how Alice made me look alive. I actually did look pretty unlike an ugly troll.  

She laughed. "Thanks. It was actually a birthday present. The surprise ruined." she smiled sadly.  

I had totally forgotten about my own birthday. Now that is just sad.  

I was finally turning seventeen on September 1st. One more week.  

"Well it's absolutely wonderful. Thank you Alice." I said sincerely.  

She smiled and it touched her golden eyes.

While I was driving, having no idea where I was going I kept on thinking about Alice. I guess I've always been wrong about Alice not loving me. That picture is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. She must have began the painting a while back. It looked like it must have taken forever because it had so much detail.

Hm...Alice. How did I become so lucky? I'm taking her for granted and it kills me. I know I have been giving her a hard time what with me always being so negative, but she never gave up on me. She always managed to be there for me in my worst time of need without me even noticing it. For the first time in a long time I had a real smile plastered onto my face and my day seem to lighten up just a little bit.  

I decided I needed comfort food. I haven't been eating properly latley. Tonight I'd pig out.  

I parked into the parking lot of Pizza hut. I would bring a pizza for Alice. Maybe we could watch a movie tonight. I couldn't remember the last time we had movie night.  

I walked into the restaurant and ordered the pizza. With everything on it except olives and I made sure to get the stuffed crust. It's Alice's favorite.