Chapter 13: Ex

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YOUR POV

It's been days already that I'm finally discharged from the hospital and somehow managed to convince my mother and Gin to let me come to school today after a whole one week of not being able to get out of the house. I was lucky my arm wasn't severely injured so it'll probably be sooner that it'll heal completely. Along the way, I had a few acquaintances greet me until I reached my classroom where my classmates welcomed me back with smiles to which I simply replied with a small 'thanks', not really knowing what to do.

"Y/N!! Welcome back!!" Rin greeted in excitement while grinning widely as I took a seat beside her. I gave her a weird look when often she would be so moody on school mornings and feeling lazy.

"Rin, you're too energetic in such an early morning." I said but she only giggled.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling perfectly fine." I sighed, ignoring her odd enthusiasm this early. Did she consume too much sugar this morning?

"Oh you should be! Takeomi and Sano are coming later for another date! Isn't that fun??" With her eyes almost closed by her cheeky smile, I waved my hand around in a bored manner as her words took the time to process in my mind.

"Yeah yea—wait WHAT?!" My voice rose and my eyes wide open in shock. Why is HE coming here??

He can't see me like this! I haven't fully recovered yet and knowing him, he'll definitely suspect it to be gang related. He might even come to a conclusion in blaming himself for this. And I don't want that. It's my decision to leave him out of it. And it's my decision to not give in to Danzai's orders. I need to stay away from him as far and as long as possible so I can prove them that I have no connections with Black Dragon's leader. But how can I do that if he'll be the one nearing me??

"What? Didn't I tell you about it yet?" Rin covered her mouth with her hand in realization and I glare at her.

"No?? Rin, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry!! I must've been so caught up with the homework that I forgot to message you last night." She clasped her hands together as she apologize to me with her eyes closed. "But you have no choice but to go with us today! Sano was the one who asked for you to come." I felt lump forming in my throat and my heart racing as the thought of him wanting me to go with them filled my mind. It reminded me of how we were back then. We used to be inseparable everywhere we go.

"H-He did?" Somehow, a part of me hoped that we will be able to start over again even just as friends as I can't really expect us to be back together after he thought I was cheating on him. Who would even want to get back together with an accused cheater anyway?

"Oho~ is that a blush I see?~" Rin pinched my cheek with a mischievous smile on her face and I swat it away with a glare.

"Rin, don't even start." I shake my head, hoping those uninvited thoughts to go away since I have no time for daydreaming something with the least possibility of happening. I released a sigh. "I can't go with you later. I'm not meeting Sano."

I really can't meet with him and if possible, forever. It's not just for the gang but for myself also. Even when we weren't together anymore, I still have my heart beating for him alone and now that I've seen him after more than four years, I can't let myself fall harder or I'll end up hurting. Having to be hurt by a certain person once should be enough for me to learn my lesson. I shouldn't fall for any of that again. And the lack of interaction with him will hopefully help... even though it's been years.

"Eh?! Why not?!" She pouted.

"Because I don't want to." I shrugged and I heard her sigh.

"Hey, I know you guys were hella awkward last time but Takeomi and I really think you look good together. Why don't you try again?" She tried to encourage me and I almost let out a chuckle, realizing she's worried that I don't vibe with Shinichiro. Although, that's partially true because I don't really think our personalities match in this present time. I know I changed and probably so did he.

"That's not my point, Rin."

"Then??" I stayed quiet, contemplating whether to tell her the truth or not. But the look of concern in her eyes made me sigh in defeat.she would continuously worry about it if I don't tell her and she might keep pushing me to go with Shinichiro again.

"He's my ex." I finally blurted out and looked out the window.

"Ahhh I see, that's wh—wait what??" She whipped her head to my direction with her mouth agape in surprise.

"You heard me."

"For real?!" She asked too loudly, catching the attention of some students and fortunately, went back to their own business afterwards. I nod my head in response and Rin gasped dramatically. "Oh my Gods, this feels like destiny~" I looked at her with a deadpan expression and she chuckled nervously. "I'm just kidding. W-Well, why didn't you say so the first time?"

"I wouldn't want to ruin your date with Takeomi now, would I?"

"But Y/N—" before she could finish, I cut her off quickly with another wave of my hand. I just know she already feels guilty for making me spend a blind date with my one and only ex-boyfriend, knowing I still have feelings for him.

"It's fine, we're long done. I just don't think I want to meet with him later." I reassured her and I can feel her worried gaze at me as silence engulfed the two of us.

"Do you still love him, though?" She asked so suddenly.

Do I still love him? Of course I do. I just can't follow that feeling anymore. I already did it before and it got me nothing but a heartbreak. Even when I still love the guy, sadly I can't follow my heart any longer. I have other things to attend to this time instead of this feeling called love that only brings me temporary happiness and a permanent scar.

"Who knows?" I shrugged, not giving her the satisfaction of assurance to my feelings towards Shinichiro. Although, deep inside I know she already knows the answer to that question. She knows me well than the others, after all.

"Aw come on!" She whined.

Once again, there was dead silence as we wait for the professor to come in. Everyone was doing their own thing and Rin scribbling on her notes randomly. Somehow, I feel like I should tell her something about it. Rin's been also protective with me when boys with unpleasant intentions try to hit on me and now she knows I have a past with Shinichiro which happened to be Takeomi's friend and I don't want my past relationship with Shinichiro to affect whatever it is between Rin and Takeomi.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" She raised her eyes from her notes to meet mine.

"Don't hate him." I muttered in a low whisper which she managed to catch up to. Her lips then broke into a soft and reassuring smile.

"I know I know. You've always told me that. I won't."

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