𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐌

23| V E N T I-T R É

VENOM'S POV

I sat in my room I have been living in for the past two months. I layed on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling as my eyes would land on the clock from time to time, waiting impatiently. It's normally easy for me to wait for time, the exact moment I needed. But now, I found it slightly difficult which is something I'm not used to. Staying up, watching the sky change colors everyday from dark to light taught me to sit there and watch it slowly, softly fade into its new skin, it's next alteration.

Looking up at the sky is one of my favorite things nature blesses us with in this cursed world. No matter how fucked up it is down here, how many people suffer with their own conditions, their own illness. It's Always lit up there, holding each dream a living being wished for. Waiting for us to reach it, to work hard enough to touch that dream and recognize it after a lot of pain, a lot of agony.

You watch the sky simply change through a couple of hours. You would look up to see light then hours later it's shut down, it's dark. It resembled humans. You would be having a glorious day, seeing it's light as it light up the darkness that's been living inside of you for years. But when the dark hits, all the hopes and beliefs you built up goes down with it, disappearing along with the light. Leaving you hopeless, back to the feeling you've been trying to run away from. The one you're trying to recap. It caught you, pulled you harder down with it.

You have to play smart, if you want to defeat that feeling. The effect it had on you till the point it can reach up where you stood and grab you tightly, making you unable to let go nor try to fight it. It's afflicted, defeatist and mostly mournful. Being attached, pulled by your worst nightmare was a feeling of disgruntlement. Each time you attain your dreams, archive your aim, it climbs up your level and tears you down.

Darkness could be an inspiration for some people, they wait until it appears to pull them into it to make them a part of it. Others feared it, causing terror in their peaceful world. They run from the dark to the further they could reach but in the end it catches them, dragging them back to their demon. It takes out all your energy, all your achievement. No matter how much you fight, hold on. You'll find yourself standing in the middle of the dark and if it doesn't pull you, you will be stepping in yourself. 

That's why I'm always in the dark, hidden from the outside world. We're all meant to experience a period of time through our lives in the dark, to teach us how sinful and vicious the world could be no matter how good of a person you are. It will drag you down, it will disappoint you, it will ascend as it hit you to fall down and watch you fail. It will stand there observing, satisfied by the destruction it caused.

No matter how strong you are or how much you're capable of, it will always remain next to you. You will look through the day next to you, it will be there either through success or failure. You might be patient, but the dark is immeasurably more patient than you could ever be. It's powerful, effective. You either learn to grow with it, steal its power and create a light that brightens your darkness or you lower down and watch it slowly, painfully destroy you.

I couldn't let myself lay on the cold floor cry in pain, screaming for help. It was aching my heart, telling me I didn't deserve any of this. That it was time to finally fight back, to stop the ache that's been living inside of me for discursiveness. I couldn't take it anymore. I saw through my own eyes my weak, feeble self and I couldn't stand another minute being the same person I was. The person I feared to become one day and there I was, the person I most hated.