Harry Styles Imagines

The Limbo

TRIGGER WARNING: TRIGGER WARNING
Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson.

Dear H,
It's quiet today.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I woke up this morning with a fleet full thought that you were in the kitchen. But then I really woke up and the dream ended.
Oh how it was a beautiful dream
Y/n
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Dear H,
I smiled today.
I smiled.
But you weren't there to see it.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I was asked why I write these to you when you never answer. I didn't have the heart to tell them that in order for you to answer, you'd have to get them. But they look rather pretty sitting in the box. One day you'll get them, just not today.
Y/n
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Dear H,
How does someone who was so happy get to here? Not sad, not happy: a type of limbo. I guess we can call it that, right? Limbo by definition is a place in between two things. So yeah, I'm in limbo.
I'm not happy, but I'm not sad.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I lied. I'm not in limbo.
I'm in yeah.
Sad.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I find it rather childish to say I miss you. To miss someone you'd have to have memories to miss, moments with them. I don't miss that.
I get that feeling of missing you, but to say I miss you doesn't live up to what I really mean. It's complicated. It's-it's like you were my soul and now it's just-
It's just-
Just-
I miss you.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I'm tired.
Y/n
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Dear H,
They say when you fall in love, you should have a calming feeling come to you. That all the nerves and butterflies everyone says are there, shouldn't be. That when you meet that one person it should feel like coming home.
Home.
A four letter word that holds a lot of meaning.
H. O. M. E.
How funny that you and home start with the same letter?
Y/n
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Dear H,
Remember how I felt childish saying I missed you. Well here goes another childish announcement.
I love you.
To be more specific, I don't mean the posting on my Instagram or sending you messages of how amazing you- .
You know what I mean right?
Y/n
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Dear H,
You have my soul.
You have my heart.
You have my bones.
You have my blood.
You have me.
And yet
And yet
Y/n
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Dear H,
"I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world"
You are my Achilles.
I could recognize you blind.
I could recognize you through everything.
I would know you by death.
I would know you by life.
Could the same be said?
Am I your Patroclus?
Y/n
*i already know the answer. so lie to me*
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Dear H,
A shooting star happened last night. I looked up and made a wish. Did you? What did you wish for? Does the rule still apply if I write it down it won't come true?
I hope not.
I wished for-actually I'll keep my wish to myself for a little longer.
Remember to look at the stars every night, wish for something. Anything.
Because even though there may not be a shooting one, there will be something.
Y/n
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Dear H,
i wondered when we would get here. it's as this is apart of my life now. sitting down writing to you. putting these in a box and locking it away. some days I struggled on what to write. others it was as easy as breathing.
Today, today is a hard day.
I don't know if the proper word for this is goodbye. Goodbye seems like forever. But what is forever? I've only been writing these for a little of time. So I won't say goodbye. Not yet.
At least not in this sentence.
Or the next.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I'm sorry.
I hope that's enough for you.
Y/n
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Dear H,
i wished for it to stop.
I wished for the limbo to end.
Y/n
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Dear H,
I love you.
I miss you.
My home.
My Achilles.
Y/n
*please lie again*
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Dear H,
It's a full circle.
We start where we end.
It's quiet today.
This won't be a final declaration of my love.
This won't be a final declaration of my missing you.
This won't be a final declaration of anything.
To have a final declaration means that the person didn't truly know all of it before hand.
So even if you didn't, lie.
And if you did.
Lie anyway.
Sometimes lying can protect someone. Keep them out of the limbo.
Because oh god H, the limbo is lonely.
And I'm tired of the limbo.
I'm so tired.
It's a circle. We start where we end.
We end where we start.
Limbo.
Y/n
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Dear Harry,
goodbye.
Y/n
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"This was directed to be given to you"

"What is it?"

"We don't know. The letter states only to give it to you. There's a key to unlock it. We'll leave you the room to look it over. Have a good day Mr. Styles"

"Thank you" Harry says looking at the box. He picks up the key and unlocks it. Envelopes pop out immediately. All with the letter H on them. Taking each one out he flips through it finding one specific one that has read this one first written on it. Gently putting the others down, he laughs breathlessly at her demand. He opens it and reads.

Dear Harry,
If you listened to me then this is the first letter you'll be reading. Even if you didn't listen, lie. For the sake of whatever, lie.
I have the urge to apologize for so many things I did to you. To us. But I won't. And that may be selfish but I can't. I can't apologize for this. That would mean regretting this. And as much as it pains me to hurt you, I- I don't regret this H.
The limbo got to much to bare. I couldn't do it. I couldn't live in a world where the constant feeling of limbo was there.
So no, I don't regret it.
But I do regret what it might do to you.
And for that it hurts me. But I still can't apologize.
So I leave you with these. My final thoughts. Well not really my final thoughts, but you get the drift.
Don't stop living H.
Don't step foot into the limbo.
Don't stop.
Keep going.
Live.
Live for you.
Live for me.
Just live.
Y/n
p.s: if I don't mention it, I love you. Simple really.
I. Love. You.

"Fuck y/n. Fuck you" Harry laughs out looking at the paper with wet marks on it. "

Fuck you" He says collecting all the letters and putting them back into the box. "

Fuck you" He says leaving the room and going home.

"Fuck you" He says opening up the box and taking them out again.

"Fuck you for making me fall in love with you" He says opening up the next letter.
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hello my loves.

If you are struggling please I beg of you to talk to someone. Anyone. Don't give up. I wrote this for the people who don't realize that leaving this earth too early, you aren't doing it to make yourself feel better, but your hurting the others around you. Don't give up. NEVER give up. The limbo stops. Just live my loves. Live and be happy. Life is a constant struggle, it'll keep knocking you down, but you never let it win. You come out on top and keep fighting. Live. Live for your future self to say fuck you to the world for hurting you.

Simply live
Because YOU ALL DESERVE IT.

much love
Xx.