Let's Go Back

Don't Call Him That

When Sarah wakes in the morning in a new room, she begins to panic. However, when she sees her cousins beside her, she calms down.

She carefully tiptoes out of the room so she doesn't wake them and goes to the living area. There is only one occupant and he is standing at the stove.

"Good morning," she says lightly.

Steve quickly turns around and sees Sarah standing there.

"Good morning, Sarah," he says with a warm smile.

She sits in a stool at the breakfast bar. She looks around the room and everything looks so foreign to her. Even the clothes Steve is wearing are different.

Steve can see the trepidation on Sarah's face.

"I know, it can be pretty overwhelming. I'm sure it's quite different from home," Steve says.

"I've only been gone a day and I already miss home so much," Sarah says.

"Will talking about home help?" Steve asks.

She thinks about home and for some reason wants to tell him everything about it. Maybe because he looks just like dad that he feels like a piece of the home that is lost.

"We live in upstate New York on an empty stretch of land. It is miles to the next closest house so we have lots of privacy. Our family has two houses. I live in one with my mom, dad, and little sister Mary. While JJ and Steven live in the other house with Aunt Lizzie, Uncle Bucky and my cousin, Nat," Sarah says.

It was one thing to suspect that Bucky was the twins' father but an entirely other thing to have it confirmed.

"Sometimes we all stay in the same house on holidays or when we are sad. We will play music and all dance around and in the morning daddy and Uncle Bucky make banana pancakes," Sarah says.

"Bucky cooking?" Steve says in surprise.

"Was he really that bad? Everyone always talks about how horrible he was at cooking," Sarah says.

"He was the worst. I'm glad that you don't have to be subjugated to that at least," Steve says with a smile.

They fall into silence as Steve finishes cooking breakfast for everyone.

"I can make you some pancakes if it would make you feel better," Steve says suddenly.

"No!" She says.

She can see the slightly hurt expression on his face so she is quick to continue.

"I mean I don't want you to go through the trouble. Maybe another day," she says.

He gives her a small smile in acknowledgment and turns back to the stove.

"What about your mother?" Steve asks.

He doesn't look back at her as she answers.

"Are you asking who she is or what she's like?" Sarah asks.

"Both," Steve says.

He really just wants confirmation for what he already knows but he also wants to hear about how his and Peggy's lives would have played out if he got that ending with her.

"Her name is Margaret Carter but she goes by Peggy. Her and dad love each other so much. She's best friends with my Aunt Lizzie. She's strong, brave, and so beautiful. I miss her so much," Sarah says.

He knew she's who he would have married but it hurts more than he thought it would. There was the proof of the life he would never get to live sitting at the table behind him.