hopefully helpful marvel oneshots

*Nat x Reader

WARNINGS: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimic tendencies, panic attack, she/they pronouns, talk about sick/being sick

REQUEST: y/n is recovering from their eating disorders but is having a ruff day, y/n had a panic attack at the beginning of the meal and Nat helps them
   (Private)

***

Y/n was called down to the dinner room - Tony had said there was some dinner party she HAD to attend. She sat next to Her partner Natasha who instantly picked up on her lovers panicked, anxious nature. 

N:" Are you alright love?" 
You just looked down at the plate that had just been served in-front of you. She placed her hand on your leg,
N:" Hey, darling" 
She whispered in your ear, gently playing it off as a loving peck to your head.
With people watching, she knew she couldn't do anything so just started eating. 

Once people had settled into their own meals with a gentle chatter filling the gaps between eating, Nat looked at you 
N:" Are you okay sweetheart?" 
Your head never raised from the food but you shook your head. 
N:" Okay my love, what on this plate do you like?" 
You pointed to your favourite part of the meal
N:" Do you think you can eat that?" 

You hesitated for a second before nodding your head
N:" I'm here the entire time, take a deep breathe. And at the rate these people are talking we'll be here all night anyway"
She tried cracking a light joke to get a laugh out of you, which worked, causing you to relax slightly. 
N:" Do you want me to cut them up for you?" 
You nodded your head, she smiled and took your knife and fork out of your hands, cutting the food into small - bite size - pieces. 

She stabbed a piece onto your fork before handing you your fork back
N:" First bite together, yeah?" 
You nodded and watched as she picked up a piece and cheersed it onto your fork, making you giggle. 

You had struggled with eating for a while, but Nat being the supportive partner she was, sat and helped you day in, day out, never leaving your side - even on your worst days. Even though you'd been doing better, everyone has bad days - something you'd come to understand was okay with time and a lot of reassurance from Nat. 

As everyone continued eating Nat got roped into conversation with the others, leaving you to look down at your plate. Your breathing picked up as you panicked. All the thoughts and self doubts started running around your head. You leaned over to Nat, saying quietly so only she could hear
y/n:" I'm gonna be sick" 

Her head wiped around as she looked at your wide eyes, and noticed your rushed breathing. Managing to keep her calm she took your arm and stood up with you, quickly taking you to the closest bathroom, and while half pushing you in the general direction of the toilet she locked the door. 
You sat down on the floor of the bathroom heaving. 
She sat down next to you, stroking your back and tracing soothing patterns onto it. 
After a few minutes and you weren't sick, you sat back leaning against Nat, she placed her hand on your forehead. 

N:" Are you ill or did everything get too much in there?" 
You heart warmed as she knew what was wrong 
y/n:" Just too much" 
N:" Okay, darling" 
As you were still shaking slightly she pulled you away from the toilet and shuffled you both back against the wall. She pulled you into her chest and layed your head right over her heart to calm you. 

Once Nat noticed your breathing had calmed down (and a few extra minutes of just holding you) she said 
N:" You think you can go back out there?" 
In a hushed voice 
You sat up to look at her,
y/n:" I don't feel like eating today" 
N:" That's okay my love, some days are harder than others" 
y/n:" But I did so well and I was better and now it's all going to shit. I feel like I've let you down" 
N:" Darling, nothing you do would ever let me down" 
She paused, leaning forward to kiss you
" And, with eating disorders, self harm, any mental illness really - you never truly recover. There will always be these little voices here" She pointed her fingers to your head " Trying to get you to listen to them, but we become stronger than them, we learn our self worth, it's almost like a never ending recovery journey. And every journey has bumps and hills, things go wrong along the way - that's the whole part of it"

After sitting and talking for a few more minutes you decided to leave and go back own to the room, taking your seats and acting as if you were never gone. 
By the end of the hour Nat had helped you eat half of your plate and you guys were going to the movie room to finish the night off. You and Nat were both sat on a single seater arm chair, cuddled up real close as you guys tend to do. 

As the movie went on you got more flighty and moved Nat's hands from you completely. She looked at you for answers but you were focused on the movie. She noticed you subtle cough and thick shwallow and handed you her water. She lent up to you whispering into your ear 
N:" You did amazing tonight, I'm so proud of you" 

***

A/N: It went from 10k to 11k in just over a day, you guys really make me happy. Thank you do much for all the votes, reads and love this story has had. I still have exams till Friday so updates are still slow - sorry. 

I'm also on crutches so my arms a dead, which is a pain. But thank you for the patience over the last few weeks with the slow updates. 

Have a lovely day/night, stay safe, drink water, take any meds, take a breathe and smile 

xx