hopefully helpful marvel oneshots

Clint x Reader

WARNINGS: relapse, self harm, cutting, blood, blades, self doubt, clintxreader relationship

PROMPT: its a more detailed version of the other one i wrote (Its not plagiarism if you copy from yourself right? :) )

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If this is not something you can read remember you are amazing, incredible and you should do what is best for you. This is a safe place for you to let your feelings go. Have a nice day and remember to smile. xx

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After you'd cut you felt really guilty knowing how much effort Clint put into helping you, without cleaning them you grabbed one of his sweaters pulling it over your head and going downstairs to find him. You walk into the common room and see everyone sat there talking, you didn't want to interrupt them so you just went to the tv room and ball yourself up in the corner of the couch. With your legs tucked up too your chest with your arms draped loosely around them, you rested your head in on your legs, waiting for 30 minutes before deciding that if you didn't do it now you were never going to do it. You got up and walked back into the common room seeing Clint at the same time he saw you.

When you made eye contact you tried to show him with your eyes you wanted him to come with you, after a few tries he got the message. He stood up walking out close on your heels following you up to your room. Once he got to your room you were already sat on your bed with your legs crossed and your head bowed.
C:" Is everything alright?"
He came and sat down next to you sensing there was a problem. He put his hand in your hair gently pushing your head to rest on his shoulder, tangling his hands in your hair pressing gentle kisses on your temple.
C:" You can tell me darling, whatever it is we can work it out"
You pull away from his hold to face him. You tried to stay strong but you couldn't control your eyes when they teared up, you look down and before saying with a croaky voice
"I'm sorry"
C:" Why love?"
y/n:" I- I ummm"
C:" It's okay sweetheart, take your time" holding his hand out for you to take, once you did he would give it a squeeze for reassurance
y/n:" I- I did it again"

Once you said it you looked down, not being able to bring yourself too look at him, until you felt two gentle fingers under your chin lifting up your head. you made eye contact
C:" There's your beautiful eyes" wiping away any stray tears from your cheeks. He pecked on the lips before continuing "Relapsing is all part of the recovery prosses, it's okay my love, I'm not mad. Actually the opposite"
You look up at him with a confused face 
y/n:" You're happy at me?" 
C:" Well.. yea. I'm proud of you. It must have been so hard for you to come and tell me that, but you were so brave, and for that I am very proud of you" 

C:" Would you like to talk about why you did it?" 
His hand finding its way on to your back, rubbing up and down for comfort as you look down into your lap
y/n:" I'm not good enough"
C:" For what?" 
y/n:" For you"
You look up at him to see his reaction 
C:" Darling... you- you are perfect for me, you're everything I ever wanted and more. Okay? But I understand me saying this one time is not going to change your view of yourself and that's okay. We're going to work on this together" 
His arm around your back started to push towards him, as he scooped you up in his arms he kissed your forehead before pulling his head back and resting it on your shoulder. 

After a while just sat in silence enjoying each others embrace he spoke up with a gentle voice 
C:" Did you clean them? Or do they need cleaning?" 
y/n:" I didn't clean them"
C:" Okay, can I clean them for you?" 
y/n:" Mhm"
He picked you up carrying you to the bathroom and placing you on the side of the sink. Once all of the wounds were cleaned a wrapped he picked you back up and carried you to bed, wrapping you in all the blankets he could fine before placing himself in behind you holding you tight. Just as you were drifting off you heard him whisper

C:" I love you so much and I am incredibly proud of you for telling me today, I just wanted you to know that" before kissing your head and falling asleep with you.