Locatlie: The End. (Book 7)

Chapter 22

"I want to go home." I whispered to William and he looked sideways at me, his green eyes meeting my grey. I let see through my eyes, so he could see the despair in them. I had to go home. I couldn't deal with what Trev had just told me.

William stood up, interrupting the Mexican president and said we were taking a ten-minute break. He stood up and walked away and I looked at him for a second and I couldn't help but smile at that, even though my heart was beating out of my chest. He would break all kinds of protocol to make sure I was comfortable enough to leave.

I stood up too, Trevor looking at me, wondering what was going on. He grabbed my arm. "What's wrong?" He asked, trying to get me to look into his eyes. I knew the moment he would see my eyes though, that he would know what was going on. I couldn't deal with that and I janked my arm loose as I then walked around all the leaders whom were staring at me and I walked out of the room over towards the exit. There were several photographers taking pictures of me and I tried to smile, but I could barely breathe.

How could he describe so clearly the dream that I had had for weeks on end? How did he know the words I had said? How did he know what I had been wearing? How could he? How could this happen. I climbed into the car and I took off the dress as it was suffocating me. I didn't care that I was half naked in the car right now. I fell onto my knees and opened up the mini bar situation here, grabbed out the crisps, opened the bag and threw all of it out. I placed it by my mouth and took deep steady breaths. This wasn't ok, this wasn't ok. Breathe Julia, Breathe. I kept repeating to myself. The car stood still but I wasn't ready to get out yet. I climbed out of the car after what felt like hours, and readjusted my dress. I ran into the house, towards my room and I closed it behind me. I let myself fall down on my bum and I burst out into sobs.

How was it possible that Trevor and I had shared the exact same dream? How did he know how much I needed him? Was it because we were each other's person, was it because Seglusa wanted to warn Trevor that I needed him most? Was it because Seglusa wanted me to know that Trevor would wait for me forever? How was this possible.

I climbed towards the bed and buried myself in it, pulling the heavy covers over my body and I let my emotions take control of my body. This wasn't normal. This wasn't ok. This was just a mindfuck. He had probably called up Polly to ask what I had dreamt about and he was trying to get into my head. That's what Trevor always did. This was just another mind game of his.

I fell asleep and it was as if my subconscious hated me, and the dream appeared again, but instead of me screaming for his help, we continued to make love. I woke up just before he came, and I sat up screaming for a second before realising it was a dream. It was a dream and yet it felt so fucking real. I missed his touch, I missed all of their touch. Polly had told me that I needed to replace these negative emotions and feelings towards sex with positive ones, but how could I when the only three people I wanted, had had sex with someone else?

I couldn't make love to William, as he broke my heart. He broke my heart and more with the fact that after merely months, he let himself go. He had sex with several different girls, even Charlotte, someone from the Process. He rather had her than wait for me. Even though my body yearned to be held by him, my body yearned to hold onto him and never let go. My body yearned to feel his lips against mine, his touch on my body. His smile after every kiss. I needed him, but I couldn't do that.

How could I have sex with Hugo when he had fallen in love with Heather? The girl that he had wanted to be with from the beginning? For him I was just a second thought? But my body yearned for him so. I wanted his touch, I wanted his lips on mine, I wanted to feel his chest against mine, I wanted to feel his curls against my neck as he kissed down. I wanted to see that stupid face of his when he came. I wanted him, but how could I ever trust he loved me?

And Trevor. Trevor wasn't an option. His actions broke me more than Will and Hugo combined.

What was I supposed to do? How could I even make this decision? Should I even make this decision? I was a fucking mess.

A.N

Soo, Jules is having a slight mental breakdown. We also have more insight into what Priestess Polly told her to do to get better. Julia is conflicted with what to do. What would you guys do?