Since We Were 14 ~ Lams

16.

"Alex- I'm so so sorry- I promise I'll never do it again! I promise! I just thought since you were doing it that I could do it and it be fine-"

"Eliza, please stop." Alex sighed softly, rubbing his temple.

Eliza nodded softly and shut up.

"We're getting a divorce-" Alex started, almost immediately being interrupted by his soon to be ex wife.

"You are not divorcing me! We have a child on the way!" Eliza scoffed, crossing her arms.

"If you would let me finish, I would get to that." Alex muttered.

"I'm done with you. You have... you have been abusive and treating me like absolute shit for the past year and frankly, I'm over it." Alex started.

"I love you- god, Eliza, I love you so fucking much but you hurt me I'm so many ways and I just forgave you. I just- I can't forgive you for this one. The fact that you'd bring some random guy in our bed-" Alexander's voice cracked a bit as he tried to hold back tears. "It just- you broke my heart!"

"Alex..." Eliza said softly, reaching for his arm.

"Don't touch me-" Alex snapped, moving a bit away.

"I can not- I would not be able to allow myself to let you raise a child. You're manipulative and abusive- just batshit crazy, honestly, and a child doesn't deserve that environment. So I'm going to be taking you to court over custody." Alex told her.

"The fuck you will! This is my kid, Alex! I'm carrying it and I will raise it!" Eliza snapped, that setting her over the rails.

"No, you won't. Remember, babe, I've been labelled the best lawyer in New York." Alex mumbled, putting some cash on the table for the waitress before getting up and leaving, not wanting to stay there with Eliza any longer.

Alex sighed softly, trying to calm himself down before he made it back to John's place. Alex had been staying there since he found out and John had even been kind enough to let Alex have the bed to himself since he was going through a lot.

Things were awkward though. John had opened up about his long term feelings of Alex and in all honesty, Alex didn't mind so much. Truthfully, he liked it.

The real thing that made it awkward was Alexander's now constant flirtatiousness and his need to try and get John to have sex with him. John would decline every time and play it cool. He would always bring up Francis and not wanting to break his heart.

He would also never fail to mention that he did not want to be Alexander's rebound from his wife.

John was asleep on the couch when Alex walked through the door. As sweet as Alex thought it was for John to give up his bed for him, he did feel bad. John worked long shifts at unusual hours and he was sleeping on a couch that was just too small to be comfortable for someone of John's height.

Alex frowned a bit and went beside John, sitting on the floor next to where John's head was resting. He was a light snorer and Alex thought that was kind of cute.

Alex listened for a moment before gently shaking John to wake him up.

John stirred a bit before waking up, only having gotten a few hours. "Hmm? What's wrong?" He asked, eyes opening as he sat up.

"Nothing, John. I just talked to Eliza." Alexander said, moving his hand and sitting on the other side of the couch.

"How'd that go?" John asked with a yawn.

"She didn't take it too well but I didn't back down. I'm gonna send her divorce papers and we will go to court soon." Alexander shrugged a bit.

"Good." John said. "I'm glad you're taking initiative and not holding yourself back."

"You're still holding yourself back." Alex pointed out.

"I am not."

"You are too."

"How so?"

"You're settling for someone you don't love because you're afraid." Alexander explained. "You're holding yourself back from getting that person you do love because you feel as though you can't or don't have enough time."

"I don't want to talk about this right now." John shook his head, standing up and going to the kitchen.

"You've been avoiding this conversation for weeks. It's fine to talk about what you said that night." Alexander pushed a bit, following John as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Alex, please, just stop." John begged softly.

"I'm not going to stop when you're basically throwing your life away."

"I am not throwing my life away. I'm marrying a very kind man." John stated.

"You're marrying a man who you don't love. Come on, John. Liz and I are finished- for real this time. You don't have to keep pretending." Alexander said.

"No- no this is what's more going to happen." John turned around. "I've spent the last eighteen years crying over you. I spent your wedding night holding my tongue cause I knew there was no longer a chance in hell that we'd get together."

"I tried for so long to get over you, Alexander! So long! And I'm so glad that you're getting yourself out of that situation, I truly am, but now you're all of a sudden all over me when I'm getting married. I found someone who I want to live and who loves me. I can't- it's just too much, Alex!" John stated, throwing his hands up a bit.

Alex was going to reply but just shut his mouth.

The two stared at each other for a moment, John breathing a little heavy from his rant but it wasn't super noticeable.

It's like their eyes were speaking a different language to each other and the silence was so strong you could hear a pen drop.

"Jesus fuck-" John mumbled before smashing his lips on Alexander's, a bit roughly.

This caught Alexander off guard but the second he realized what was going on, he immediately wrapped his arms around John.

They were both hungry and longing for this so it was messy. John pushed Alexander back on the kitchen table.

"No no-m bedroom." Alex pulled away, panting a bit. John nodded and helped Alex back off, sharing heated make outs all the way into the bedroom.