Since We Were 14 ~ Lams

5.

"Hey." John smiled sweetly, sitting on the opposite side of the booth.

"Hey." Francis smiled. "You look beautiful." He said.

"Thank you. So do you." John said softly, obviously a bit nervous. He would have never agreed to this if he didn't feel obligated.

"I'm sorry." John blurred out. "I know I hurt you and I know I fucked up and you're really amazing and I shouldn't have just ruined our relationship like that." He rambled a bit.

Francis shook his head. "It's fine. Really, it is. I just... I just miss you, John." He shrugged a bit.

John swallowed hard a bit and nodded. "I miss you too. I didn't realize how lucky I was to be with you." He said. "I just got scared and felt the need to destroy us."

Francis nodded. "Would you be open to starting over? Even just as friends?" He asked.

John nodded softly. "I'd like that." He smiled.

Francis smiled and nodded. "You mean what you said though, right? You really did miss me?" He asked.

"Yeah, I meant it. You're the greatest man I've ever met." John told him. Frances nodded softly.

"Why'd you agree to go back out to him? John- you literally would freak out because you didn't love him and felt terrible about it." Martha asked as her and John were grocery shopping together.

"And I thought you decided that you were just going to wait on Alex?" Martha said, putting some noodles in her cart.

John did the same and sighed. "I did. But Eliza is pregnant. And he isn't going to leave her when she is carrying his child."

"So you've decided to move on? For good?" Martha asked. John nodded. "That's what I'm aiming for."

"And if I were to fall in love with anyone else, I'd hope it would be Francis because I can't get much better than him. He was perfect."

"No he wasn't. If he was perfect, you would have loved him." Martha pointed out.

"I wanted to love him- I still want to love him. He is kind and gentle and handsome." John shrugged a bit and got the ingredients for homemade Alfredo sauce.

"Do you think dating him again will make you love him?" Martha asked.

John shrugged. "I hope it will. I'll be thirty three this year. I need to settle down and start a family if I'm ever going to get one."

Martha nodded softly. "What?" John asked. "Nothing. Just if that's what you believe is best, I'm not going to disagree with you." Martha explained.

John nodded softly as they got to the checkout. "Okay." He said.

John sighed and got his ingredients out of the bag, getting prepared to start the fettuccine Alfredo. He and Francis were both vegetarian so cooking for him was always easy for John.

Francis knocked on the door around five and John hesitated a bit to open but did. "Hey, Francis." He smiled, both him and the other man kissing each other's cheeks.

"Hey, John." Francis smiled and walked in. "Thank you for giving us a second chance."

John shook his head. "Don't thank me. I should be thanking you because I'm the one who messed this up." He said.

Francis sighed and hugged John gently. "You didn't mess anything up. We're back together now. That's all that matters." He said, kissing his temple before moving away.

John nodded softly. "I made dinner." He crocked out a bit, going to the kitchen to set it on the table.

"I'm sure it's delicious." Francis said, sitting down. Him and John both grabbed their plates.

"How're you and Alex?" Francis asked. John almost choked on his food. "We're okay." He managed to crock out, really not wanting to talk about his life long crush with his boyfriend.

"And him and Eliza?" Francis asked. "Good. They're- uh- they're having a baby." John nodded a bit, taking a bite of his food.

"That's wonderful. They seem really happy together." Francis said. John shrugged. "Not really." He mumbled subconsciously.

"Why's that?" Francis asked. "They just fight a lot. Usually Alex will stay the night over here a couple nights a week to get away from her. I just don't think they need a kid right now." John shrugged.

Francis nodded a bit. "Yeah- you shouldn't raise a kid in that environment." He agreed. Francis was a high school government teacher so when him and John dated, they would mostly spend time with each other in the mornings after John got off and before Francis had work.

John nodded. "Yeah, I agree." He said, finishing his plate. "Are you done?" He asked. Francis nodded. "I got the dishes." He assured, taking the plate from John and going to his sink. "You're so sweet." John said, kissing his cheek before cleaning the table.

The reason John told Francis they needed to break up was that they were moving too fast, which was a huge lie. They dated for three years and Francis really loved John. He tried to not be hurt when John said he wasn't ready when Francis told him that he loved him. He was patient and never asked John to do or say anything he wasn't ready for.

And their break up really hurt him. He fell into a depression because he really didn't understand how they were moving too fast or what he was doing wrong. He knew he loved John and he wanted him back. And now that they were back together, Francis was determined to make things right and keep them that way. He didn't want to do anything wrong so he would let John dictate how fast they moved.

It did catch Francis by surprise when John put their lips together and started grinding against him. He wasn't complaining, it just wasn't expected. He thought they would be restarting but it seems like they were picking up where they left off.

It wasn't what Francis expected but he couldn't say it wasn't what he wanted either.