Since We Were 14 ~ Lams

15.

"Alex... stop." John said softly from the bedroom. He didn't have a shirt on, normally not sleeping with one, and Alex saw this as an opportunity to try and seduce John by leaving kisses along his shoulder, neck, and collar bones.

Alex sighed softly and moved away from his friend, having his back towards him.

In all honestly, Alex wasn't even sure what he was doing. He didn't know why all of a sudden he just wanted to sleep with John. It was odd.

"Alex." John frowned when he reacted that way, moving and gently touching Alexander's shoulder to comfort him.

Something inside Alex seemed to snap when John touched him. He turned around quickly.

"Why- why are you marrying him?" Alex asked.

John bit his lip a bit. "I just... we can't have this conversation right now." He said softly.

"Yes we can! You say that everytime I want to talk to you about Francis- you always say it's nothing the time! Well now is the time! Why are you marrying him!?" Alex asked, raising his voice a bit out of frustration.

He understood John saying no to sleeping with him. He knew John had that right and was perfectly alright with that. But Alex needed to know why John was with Francis.

"Because he loves me, okay?!" John said. "And that's something I've never had before! Everyone else is married! They either have a family or they are starting one and I'm alone, okay!? I've spent almost the last two decades caught up in feelings for this guy and I can't get over it! I can't! So whether or not I love Francis doesn't matter! He loves me! He cares about me! And he wants to start a family with me!"

John was clearly extremely upset. He had started crying out of frustration from this argument.

"You shouldn't be doing that! You shouldn't be marrying someone just because they love you when you don't feel that way about them!" Alex stated, sitting up now.

"What else am I supposed to do?! He's willing to marry me knowing this! He knows that I've only been in love with you most my life-"

"What?" Alex interrupted what he just heard.

John didn't mean to say that- his face showed his shock as those words slipped from his mouth.

But right then, John was too busy crying and freaking out because of his morals to really care.

"I've been madly in love with you for years! Since freshman year but I've held my tongue because you were happy with Eliza! You married her and I tried to move on! I tried so hard but everytime I found someone, I could only think of you!" John's voice broke a bit from his sob. He always cried when arguing.

"John-" Alex said, not really knowing what to do now.

"I'm not- I can't break that mans heart because you want a rebound, Alex! He's the only one who has shown me the love I have for you! He's the only one who has dealt with my bullshit and wanted to work it out and wanted to start a family so please, for the love of god, leave me be on this!" John said.

"John, why didn't you tell me?" Alex asked.

"You think I could've told you!? Not when you were so in love with miss psychopath over there that I couldn't!" John said.

"Just- I need to be alone for a moment." John got up and put on a hoodie, slipping on some shoes before walking out the door.

Alex sat in John's bed, completely confused and shocked by what just happened.

He felt like he just got hit by a trained.

Alex swallowed hard. His throat hurt and so did his head. He got up and went to the living room.

He sat down on the couch and hugged his knees, still trying to process everything that had happened in the last few days.

John came back a few hours later, around eleven. He took his shoes off and sat next to Alex on the couch, who was still awake.

"I'm sorry." John said softly. "That wasn't something I should have just thrown out like that. And I understand your point about Francis, I do. But it's happening. Him and I are getting married." He said. "I can't be the one who breaks the mans heart."

Alex nodded softly, letting go of his knees.

"I'm sorry for trying to sleep with you. You made it clear the first time you didn't want to be my rebound or revenge and I respect that and your space." Alexander said.

"And I'll be more respectful of your relationship. Even if I don't agree with it, you're right. It's your choice." He continued softly.

John nodded softly. They then sat in a strange silent. It wasn't uncomfortable but nothing comfortable either.

"I think... I'm gonna file for divorce for Eliza. And I'm gonna fight for full custody of the kid." Alex mumbled after a while of the silence.

"I think that's the best idea." John agreed. "You're gonna be an amazing father." He said softly.

Alex smiled softly. "Thank you. I really hope so. I've been super nervous about it." He said.

"You've got it. This kid is gonna be lucky to have a dad like you." John said.

"I don't think the kid is mine." Alex told him. "She's been... sleeping around a lot and we don't have sex as often any more so chances lean towards me not being the dad."

"Wow..." John said. "Will the court still let you take custody of the kid if you aren't biologically the father?" He asked.

"Yeah. I just would have to prove I'd be a good parent as well as prove how unfit and abusive Eliza is. I'll need your help, if you're okay with that." Alex said.

"Of course. You know I've got your back." John smiled softly to Alexander.

"I always have, and I always will."