Soul Bonded [Claude De Alger Obelia x reader ]

42. Churning Emotions

There goes your peaceful solitude. Your heart crumpled even more.

Claude muttered, jaw stiffening. "You're wrong. Dead wrong. You..got the wrong idea."

"(Y/n), Look at me." His soft tone hardens, his eyes burning holes into your side. "Having Penelope or not doesn't matter. You're... important to me. A irreplaceable part. So don't get the idea I would throw you away just because I got someone new."

You wanted to scoff yet your breath hitched at his words.

"I wasn't trying to be a ass to you. Problems kept piling up and it was all too much. I was on edge, on the verge of bursting out. I didn't want to explode on you. I....I thought it was best to keep distance until I get my head straight."

Your eyes widened and you turned to him. He looked distressed as he struggled to communicate his true feelings. There was glimpse of rage, helplessness and sorrow within his dazzling blue eyes that had no outlet. That had been smothering him from inside.

"Shutting you out, distancing myself, it was all to keep you safe. I wanted to be alone. Even so I was so focused on myself that I end up hurting you."

He let out a defeated sigh and his eye fixed itself on you.

"You know me. Just how bad I'm at expressing myself, at being sappy and all that. I didn't want to worry you. You fret a lot, lot more than Felix. And you go flying right off the bat ready to tear anyone. I didn't want that."

You listened to his words, slowly understanding the situation. His sudden coldness, his distant attitude.

"Sometimes I forget I've someone whom I could share my problems. But it's hard. Really hard to just say what's on my mind, what's troubling my heart. It's so fucking difficult to just open up." He roughly spoke. "My habit of shutting people out when I'm hurting hurted you too. And I'm sorry."

Claude swallowed hard and his shoulder slumped and his head lowered. Golden bangs shadowed his eyes, a dry smile on his face.

"Felix told me it wasn't too late. I could make up for my action. My mistake. He nagged me to apologise to you. I was hesitating but you know Felix, once he gets fixed on something he's determined to do it."

You perked up at that. Felix. Of course it was him. He probably suspected something was going on between you two and forced Claude to reconcile with you.

"But I came here out of my own violation, not because of Felix, if that's what you're wondering."

"...." As if he read your mind he cleared the doubt.

"I wanted to apologise. You didn't showed up for days. I...I was worried. Really worried." He looked like a beaten puppy with his head drooped low in guilt and shame.

Your heart helplessly clenched at the sight. At his defeated and beaten up posture. At his resigned expression.

You realised he was hurting. All this time he was hurting, unable to communicate it, unable to share it, unable to show it. Distancing was his defence mechanism to cope up with pain. Somehow your hurt only deepened. To think he still was hesitant at openly voicing his troubles.

"You stupid idiot. You fucking moron. Y-you've been hurting..How am l suppose to know if you don't tell me? Do you even know how hurt I was when you keep things from me? How hurt I am?" Your voice cracked and trailed off.

"(Y/n)." Claude breathed out, guilty.

Anger spiked up, colouring your vision red. "Instead of shrinking back, retreating within your shell you should have tried to talk to me! I get it that's how you've been dealing with all your problems within this fucked up family. But you need to know that you aren't alone anymore! You have someone! Stop cornering yourself, dammit!"