85 - Hurting

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Tessa survived her funk. She woke the next morning feeling better. Perhaps it was because Patrick was at work. The humidity broke, and the girls were in better moods too. They kept busy shopping and with a trip to the library.

Maddie smiled when they entered the children's section. "Are you still staying at Patrick's?"

Tessa shook her head. "The teenagers came back."

"Gabby is friend's with my stepdaughter."

"Gabby is sweet, but..."

Maddie nodded. "Hannah's a tough cookie. It's hard to step in to a family. Rory was still grieving when I first met her."

"How did she get better?"

"Time, love, Dr. Deb, her boyfriend. He lost his mother too. Sam made a huge difference."

Tessa scowled. "Hannah's boyfriend is making her worse."

"I've seen him. She'll forget about him when she gets to college. I can't believe Rory is leaving soon. We are all going to miss her, especially the kids."

Tessa shook her head. "My girls won't miss Hannah, but Patrick will."

"And he'll think of her mother. Your job is to hold him and let him grieve."

Sadness filled her as she nodded. "Thanks, Maddie. I suppose I should see how many books they found."

"Anytime, but you know about grief more than me."

Tessa did, but Maddie was a second wife. Maybe it was Tessa's future to have Patrick as her second husband.

On Tuesday, they played with her friend Amy's kids, in their swimming pool. Amy encouraged Tessa to swim, but she kept her baggy cover up on. Was she fooling herself that she could hide her pregnancy? Just thinking of seeing the teenagers gave her nervous flutters. She was showing more after two weeks. Hannah would probably notice.

Amy ask questions about dating the popular doctor. Tessa had kept her personal life private, but it had become very public. A woman ahead if her in the checkout line at the grocery store asked if she was the one dating Dr. Bennett.

"Do I know you?" She asked the stranger.

"I saw you together at the beach. My son is friends with his daughter. I knew her mother."

She smiled. "She was a lovely person and her family misses her."

Thankfully, the woman finished quickly and left before Chloe mentioned Doc. Her youngest brought up his name at every turn. How did they get in so deep so quickly? Even if there wasn't a baby, her kids were attached to Patrick. She could never sever the tie. Hannah needed to get better like Maddie's stepdaughter had.

An afternoon at the pool was almost as fun as a day at the beach. The girls were happy, and she was looking forward to seeing Patrick after work. It felt like it had been too long. She could pretend all she wanted, but the two weeks they spent together changed everything.

It scared her. To open up her heart meant she could risk being hurt again. Patrick could leave her. She tried to remind herself what Kelsey always told her, but she could never banish the feeling of abandonment that almost consumed her. She owed Kelsey everything for pulling her out of the abyss and holding on to her until she could stand on her own two feet. Kelsey was pushing her towards Patrick, but Tessa still worried. Patrick didn't know about the abyss, and if he did, would he still want her?

They returned home from Amy's and Tessa counted the hours until Patrick would arrive. He hadn't told her, but she could sense things hadn't magically changed with Hannah. Tessa reminded herself again she was still a child, even if she was technically an adult. She was hurting, and she was also a part of Patrick. If Tessa... Whatever she felt for Patrick, she needed to feel the same for his child just like she already did for Gabby and Kevin.

The girls should have been watered logged, but they asked to play the sprinkler. Before Tessa hooked it to the hose in her backyard, she filled up a Super-soaker water gun. Even though they were already wet, they ran from her when they saw the gun. She pumped the chamber with air to force the water out in a strong stream. As she ran around her backyard chasing them, they shrieked. The thought of a water fight with Patrick filled her mind. The entire family would be a battle. As she ran after Maya, who was quick, she decided she was a pervert, because the thought of Patrick chasing her shouldn't excite her.

Without warning as she ran, one foot hit a divot in her grass. Her leg went one way and her ankle the other, and she was on the ground. Maya stopped running and went to her side.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just fell," she said through gritted teeth.

She tried to stand, but the pain was too much to put any kind of weight on it. Feeling the tears, she told Maya to run over and get Rita. Her neighbor returned with her husband. Together they supported Tessa, so she could stand, but she winced anytime she put the slightest weight on her right foot.

Rita took charge. "Chuck will take you to get it looked at, and I'll stay with the girls."

She couldn't argue. She knew it wasn't something an ice pack would make better. She couldn't even think about what it would mean if it was serious. Don't go there. She repeated in her head.

She thought of Patrick, but he was working. She couldn't interrupt him. He had patients and there was nothing he could do for her. He wasn't the type of doctor she needed.

She tried to convince Chuck to leave as soon as they checked her in and sat in the emergency room waiting area. "How are you going to get home?"

"I'll call someone."

He smiled. "This man, does he treat you okay?"

She nodded. She couldn't smile, because the pain had taken over. She never knew how long David suffered. They said he died from internal injuries. They wanted her to think it was immediate, but were they lying? By the time they took her back into a room, she had convinced Chuck to go. She needed to be alone with her pain and her thoughts of David.

"When the doctor came in and poked at her swollen ankle and mentioned x-rays, she winced and shouted, "No!" Gathering herself, she said, "I'm pregnant."

He looked at her midsection and reassured her it was perfectly safe. "Did you fall forward? Did your abdomen hit the ground?"

She shook her head. She hadn't even considered the fall could hurt the baby. The thought of something happening to Patrick's son sent a new panic through her.

"We'll have someone from OB come down and do a quick ultrasound, just for peace of mind."

She flipped a switch and her thoughts were no longer in the past, but with Patrick and their baby. She couldn't call him because she was on her way to x-ray. She didn't even know what time it was. She asked the nurse pushing her in a wheelchair.

"It's just five-thirty. If you're hungry, we can get you something to eat."

She shook her head. All she could think was Patrick didn't know where she was.

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