Who I am {Phil Lester}

chapter 14.

INDIE'S POV;

Kim sat opposite me in the uncomfortable wooden chair, the cushioned seat slowly deteriorating. Her eyes were smeared with black mascara and blueish purple bags lay sagging underneath the subtle red glow in the whites of them. Her hair hung in little clusters down the sides of her tanned face. Her shoulders were slumped over, leaving her back a crooked mess.

"Indie. You don't know how sorry I am, that I wasn't here for what happened to Kyle," she stuttered, her eyes sorrowful and guilty.

I turned my gaze towards Kyle's worn out bear which was clasped in my hands, my fingers twirling the fuzzy fur around them.

"Yes, you should be," I replied bluntly.

"Look, if there is anything I can do to help..." she began, leaning forwards in the creaky seat.

"Stop drinking. That's the whole reason you weren't able to answer my calls. Because you were getting pissed," I snapped, my voice stern and cold.

"You know it's not that easy," she sighed, her head in her hands.

"If it's worth it, it won't come easy, but at least I won't have to look after two ill healthed people in my life. Always constantly asking for my fucking help and giving nothing in return," I instantly regretted the harsh words which had just slipped of my tongue.

I quickly glanced up to Kim, guilt overrunning me as she dropped her head and began to shove her weight off the seat.

"Kim I..I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," I pleaded, quickly pushing myself off the chair as it skidded backwards slightly.

"Just leave me the fuck alone. I came here to apologise, which I did, and I just got shit," she stormed off down the open corridor.

"Kim, don't do this," I called after her.

"I can't lose you too," I quietly mumbled to myself as she crashed her foot against a stray wheelchair floating about the corridor then carried on storming away from the waiting room.

In frustration, I slammed myself down against the chair and threw my head into my hands, guilt and fury catching like a wildfire.

"Are you alright?" A calm soft voice piped up next to me.

I turned my head to see PJ awkwardly perching down on the edge of the wooden seat, a sympathetic look gleaming inside his pale green eyes.

"Yeah, just confused, I suppose," I half heartedly smiled back at him.

"Where did Kim go? If I'm correct, that would be her name," he asked looking past me and scanning the corridor.

"I don't know, Peej," I sighed, anxiously following his gaze across the quiet empty space.

"I'm so sorry. About what happened. Honestly, if you need anything, just ask me," he said, a sympathetic smile broadening on his face.

"Thank you, it means a lot," I said, half heartedly returning the smile.

A thick silence filled the air as all that could be heard was the distant tapping of a keyboard and mouse clicks.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms wide.

I obeyed his request and sunk into his warm embrace. The smell of soft deodorant and aftershave covered the jumper he was dressed in.

"You're a good friend to Phil, you know that?" he softly breathed into my neck, which sent tiny shivers running around it.

"So are you, though," I replied as I gradually pulled away from his grasp, confusion over powering my expression.

"Why the random comment, though?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.